AIBU to be upset with sister-in-law

I hate it when guests strip the bed when they leave,it feels like they are checking the mattress and pillows!

Did she have a plane to catch and the taxi arrived early?
That could mean she had to leave everything as it was.

She must have used your washing machine during the three weeks, so she could have thrown at least one load of towels in and dried them and left the rest in the laundry room.
As for the bed, I usually ask too, if it is to be stripped.

We were at a holiday rental once and there was a note asking us to strip the beds before we left (it cost quite a lot too)!

I hope she left you a lovely present or some good wine, Buffy.

Did she show her gratitude for saving her so much money in another way? A bunch of flowers, thankyou gift or money towards the gas, electricity and/or water she used? If not YANBU! Make an excuse next time. I'm sure she'll get the message.

Oh dear, don't let it spoil your relationship, however unconsiderate her behaviour. I am amazed though at those of you who clean a holiday rental! I wash up everything that we have used in the kitchen, leave beds turned back, put towels and tea towels in laundry basket/washing machine, but I do not vacuum or clean, that's why I go on holiday!

sheets

you did let her stay in your home. i bet you said treat it like home. which is what she did.. i would just throw the shhets into washing machine .have a good clean up ,then sit and have a cup of tea, after you have screamed out loud in the garden.haha..

She certainly sounds selfish! But I wouldn’t bother making a thing out of it but would not have her back again.
Next time if she asks says you have other plans but of course there are several good hotels etc!

Annoying yes but not worth letting it upset you. If your not there in future leave instructions on how to use the wash or if you are show her.

No one has suggested the simple solution to this, as far as I can see.

It's your husband's sister, Buffy, so he can either tell her to tidy up or he himself can do the clearing up after her - problem sorted!

We once had a nephew and his wife to stay. We gave up our own bed for them.

They left an unstripped bed with TONS and I mean TONS of sweetie wrappers around the bedroom floor! They have never been invited since.

margoux why on earth imagine it’s cultural just because the lady lives overseas what a sweeping judgement she may have emigrated and be as British as you or me or come from a country with similar customs, there is nothing to suggest she lives in a tent on the Mongolian Steppes ? however I agree with you it’s nothing to get upset about

My teenage gd is exactly the same. However much you get onto her to clear up, if dh and I are out it’s what we come home to, she’s gone out so it’s has to be cleared by me

mmmmm - house guests hey say are like fish - they go off after 3 days! I have lived overseas a lot and therefore have had many people staying and many of them good house guests but some ...... let's say - 'leave a lot to be desired'. Just grin and bear it and perhaps next time show her how the washing machine works and what washing powder you use for bed linen and towels!

Hello,
My mother-in-law is irritated if I strip the bed. She told me once that she'd rather do the laundry "when it suits her" and wishes people would stop trying to be so helpful.

I think in your case she could have done what you suggested re the pillowcase thing - but try not to stress over it, though I can see it's irritating... maybe she forgot? Perhaps she doesn't "understand" other people's washing machines?
Was this your bed or was it spare room? I hope it was a spare and you didn't need to change it as soon as you got home!

Clarty moo!

That will be the first and last time she is invited I’m guessing.

I ask my guests to leave their beds made up because I don’t like seeing stripped beds for days after a visit. I can then, in my own time, strip the beds one at a time and launder the sheets.

When little grandchildren stay overnight I don’t launder their bedding between visits.

Buffy. YANBU! By a long way! What a blooming entitled, spoiled, fancies-herself, selfish Madam she is!
Unless she thought it's a Serviced Flat? Kind of like a hotel room...?
No, I doubt that.
I stayed in dear friend's cottage for a welcome much needed break. At end I left money for electricity - I checked on the meter on arrival and when I left, a gift she could use in her cottage, washed all the linen including towels and tea towels, cleaned all the flat spotlessly and drove home overnight. I really enjoyed leaving it all clean and tidy actually! Much more than my own house which I find a tedious and repetitive bore!

Oh dear. You all sound so wonderful and thoughtful. I take my own towels when I stay with DS and DIL but never dream of stripping the bed or expect any of my family to reciprocate when they stay over. Just provide towels, bedding and food for them without thinking. I can see how hurt and disappointed you must be if your expectation was very different to the reality. Your family sound lovely and caring too, this lady’s behaviour upset you but sounds like you have expressed your feelings and moved on. Don’t let your anger spoil your today

Perhaps she had a last minute unexpected event of some sort that meant she did not have time before she had to leave to do the chores - and just forgot to say ''sorry''?

Personally, I always ask the owner if they would like to have the bed stripped. I've found that not everyone does, so safer to ask. Always leave used towels in a pile and empty waste bin.

Do you mean she slept in the same set of sheets for the whole three weeks! That's a bit mucky. I think she's taken advantage of your good nature myself and could have at least made some effort to wash the towels. Sounds like she expects hotel service. In my book family staying should all muck in and not expect to have everything done for them unless there is a health condition which prevents it. Then that's another matter. I would be removing the Welcome Mat next time around.

Could it be a cultural thing, Buffy? I assume the lady isn't English? Maybe people don't change the sheets or clean the towels when they're invited to stay in her own country? It could just be different customs. If that's all that jars, I really wouldn't let it worry me if I were you. But maybe she's been insensitive in other ways?

If you don’t tell her this behaviour is unacceptable that she can’t possibly know it makes you unhappy can she? I suggest you leave her a little note next time she stays explaining - kindly - how you’d prefer your flat to be left.

you can not control what others do but you can control how it affects you. Forget it - sleep well - clean up the flat and look in a mirror and congratulate yourself on your kindness. This does not mean you have been shxt on, because you control it. Move on, life is short. She may have a mental incapacity, who knows. You helped your husband by caring about his sister. Be happy.