As for your so called friends
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I'm hurt and unsure whether to get in touch with them
(59 Posts)To be honest. I would have told my husband, I doubt he’d have shown a lot of interest, but it wouldn’t occur to me not to tell him
Regarding your husband, he was probably feeling very awkward, and trying to keep the peace, not that that’s really an excuse
It your so called friends, you really don’t need them
Oh dear what a terrible evening! I would definitely write them a letter and let them know how much they hurt you and that you don't want to have anything more to do with them.
As for your husband mine is just the same in not sticking up for me in company. If it involves our adult children I will say "Don't you jump on the bl**dy band wagon!!". Otherwise I keep quiet and have it out with him later!!
As he has apologised I would put his actions 'behind me' but, as I said, drop the others, especially as your friend let you down so badly.
Gonegirl you are so right. He was enjoying the attention! To be honest I am not violent but I could have smacked his stupid face when we got back to the B&B! He has not backed me before in the past either. We had a really good chat when we got home as we couldnt say much in the B&B. I'm just not going to get in touch with them again, that is it. I feel so upset though as so much was said and at one point her husband was actually shouting at me. Then when they dropped us off he said I had to look after that LAD and stop thinking about myself! I have never thought about myself in my life. I have had 3 children and life has been hard. My husband is now all apologetic.
Don't dwell too much on your husband's part in this whywhywhy You have told him how you felt about what he did and hopefully he has understood that. Certainly don't let it spoil your retirement plans.
It's a shame your 'friend' chose to share your confidences with her husband and even harder to think they both used this information against you. They sound quite unpleasant and you don't need to see them again do you ?. Put this down to experience and move on.
Oh, men are like that! My husband never sticks up for me when I think he should do. I think they just enjoy the sympathy they get from the others. You'll have to forgive and forget so far as he is concerned, but you are doing the right thing with the other couple. You don't need "friends" like them. Forget them.
I am so sorry to hear this. You need to make it clear to your DH how upset you are still by this incident.
I would never associate with people who comment on my appearance disparagingly nor would I like them telling me how to conduct my life.
They are obviously aware that they have upset you if they are constantly calling and they must have noticed you were upset on the evening.
In order to draw a line under it I would be inclined to drop them a line and explain how you felt and that you think it better not to see them again. They should not be allowed to get away with such insensitivity and rudeness.
I am sure your DH was just drawn in by them and although seemed to agree with them, at heart really doesn't. Please do not let them spoil your retirement but do sit your DH down and talk it out. Discuss your expectations for retirement - I am sure it will clear the air.
It sounds like you have offlaoded to them A LOT over the years. Sometimes when someone offloads to you repeatedly about the same issue over and over.. you lose patience and tell them to do something about it if it bothers them so much!
Might that be what happened?
This is a long thread but I will try and keep it short. I have know two people since I was 16. We had a big gap (years) in keeping in touch and finally met up back in 2010. He was friends right through school with my first husband (wife beater) and she was his girlfriend at the age of 16. I met my second husband and then I got back in touch and arranged to meet up. My eldest two children played together years ago with theirs. All now in their 40s. They live 200 miles away and we visit the area to see other friends of mine (husband is from the Midlands - I'm from the North East) once per year. We visited last week and went out for a meal with them and then back to their house for drinks and a natter. Over the last few years I have taken her into my confidence and told her lots of stuff about my life, family etc with not much coming back from her. Well, she had told her husband everything that I have said over the years. They picked at me from the start of entering their house pointing out that I had put on weight (yes I have) and my ankles were swollen. We had spent everyday walking about in the sweltering heat, so they were a bit. I didnt want them highlighting! Then her husband starting on about the fact that I put up with too much from my kids and should push them and the grand kids into the background! According to him, I have to spend more time with my husband now that he is about to retire. Well, NO because we both have hobbies and we are not joined at the hip like them. OMG everything that I had told her in confidence she had told him and he was throwing it back in my face. How I had to look after that "LAD" who happens to be my husband. That was bad enough but my husband then took their side and agreed with them. It was 3 against one. I had to go to the toilet and have a good cry. By then they had changed their tack but the night for me was ruined! I hate them. We got picked up by them and I was glad when they dropped us off at the B&B. Me and hubby have never argued but we did this time. He was so apologetic but I cannot forget the night or their faces. That is that for me with them. They have phoned 2-3 times per day but I refuse to answer the phone. It spoiled the end of our trip. Ok, how would you guys handle this. I dont want to see/speak to them again. Should I drop them a line and explain or just never get in touch again? I have had lots of tears over this and I really don't seem to know my husband at all. Now I am not looking forward to his retirement.
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