Maternityleave,
Have you talked to your pediatrician about the effects of mil's treatment on other people?
I would just stay home and don't go back to work if you want to avoid a fight with your dh.
Btw, your dh's fault! How dare he make life changing arrangements with his mother, ignoring you? This will continue as long as you allow it by "compromising"
What when your dh and MIL decide your kid's 1st bday party is at her place and she bakes the cake? Spend Christmas at her place so she can see LO opening presents?
Are you ready for her to take over your lives?
And then, when she passes away, how can you be so mean to FIL and SIL to remove all the access (aka less babysitting, for example) to LO they had before MIL passed away! How about the bond they have! Doesn't it matter?
Your ILs dont like you and disrespect you. Your ILs and dh are manipulators - it is vile to use a disease and possibly misrepresent the severity of it for their own advantage.
ILs are unsafe to babysit. They will ignore your rules and they will take your baby to see people you do not know and approve of. They will steal your firsts, tell you and enjoy your discomfort and pain.
Would you hire daycare that would do this? I doubt it
You know very well that your ILs and dh will guilt and manipulate your child when your child doesn't do what mil wants (fulfill their mother of your child experience). Do you really want that for your baby?
I am sorry MIL is sick. It must be hard for everybody involved.
However, you did not make her sick. Your child will not magically cure her. Your child is not Prozac.
ILs are horrible parents. Leave and cleave anybody? Respect for other adults? No, that is not what they taught your dh.
Your ILs may also not be happy with your compromise and may push for more. Where is your limit?
Please, OP, put your child first, not the whims of selfish adults who have childish fits when they do not get their way.