It;s taken me a little while to appreciate not having to think about the adult children under my roof. The youngest moved out in 2013.
At first I felt quite bereft, and without purpose in a way, given they no longer needed me. I think it is true to say that they don't hurt the way their parents hurt when they go out into the world and become independent. For parents it's like their reason for being has vanished.
I missed them so much at first. I was quite tearful. However, I soon I began to feel the advantages. No more trail of mess left in their wake, no hurting for them when things went wrong in their lives. No more cooking and cleaning up or thinking about meals. (I was a single parent so no partner to consider either.) No more nagging or feeling they might be taking advantage, no more floor-drobes and the washing machine being used every day - and the bathrooms stayed clean, as did the rooms they vacated.
Oh I missed their presence, and the quiet without them in the house took some getting used to.
They don't need me any longer, but I still worry about them and think about them every single day. I do however pat myself on the back that they took off and coped with independent life and have a work ethic and are doing well.
I have adjusted and much as I love them, would find it difficult to have them under my roof 24/7 now.
You are right Doodledog - the children moving on is a rite of passage we must go through as we grow older.
My take on it however Imm6 is that we have earned this quiet time, this time to be free of the responsibility for others. I hope you have a loving relationship with your AC and they contact you and visit you still. I do look back, and yes, those years flew by when they were small and our whole lives revolved around family. We cannot go back though, or turn back the clocks. I hope you find some satisfaction in the fact you gave them a good home life, and prepared them well for adult life without you.
Try not to feel you have lost something and enjoy the freedom you now have to do your own thing, if you can.