I had breast cancer 10 years ago. I had surgery, chemo and radiotherapy.
I had all of my lymph nodes tested - 23/24 affected.
Then I had BC on the other breast. I had surgery and reconstruction on both breasts, then another bout of chemo.
Then I had ovarian cancer and had an oopherectomy.
I was told at that point that I was stage 4.
For six/seven years I have been symptom free.
Now I am not.
I have been told that my cancer has spread to my bones (spine), and more frighteningly, my liver.
Oncologist is offering pain relief, as and when necessary. There is nothing more to be done.
I was told this yesterday, but already knew it, I just knew something was not right.
I feel fabulous. Absolutely nothing wrong with me. I have had donkey day today, mucking out, sorting donkeys, llamas, goats, chickens and rabbits. All as normal.
Then it hits. I wont be here next Christmas. I dont know how to feel.
No one can tell me. Obviously, they are dead. (Apologies for the black humour).
80% of the time I am me, normal.
20% of the time I am a quivering wreck.
I look at my children, my grandchildren, and think I will not be a part of their story soon.
I actually cope very well. Its just that when it hits, it hits hard.
Apologies to you all, I KNOW there is nothing you can say to make it better, I just needed to let it out.
((((hugs)))) there no words
Anger management!!! Help needed.
