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AIBU

Questions to which there may be an unwelcome answer.

(39 Posts)
Kalu Mon 30-Nov-20 19:26:02

Just sometimes it is necessary to be reasonably truthful with an OP who, although they may not like the truth, do accept, they may have got things wrong.

Others though, will have to do what many of us have been doing forever when faced with certain upsets, we pull on our big girl pants and get on with it, in search of a solution! ?

Casdon Mon 30-Nov-20 19:02:16

I agree with smileless as well, on the AIBU posts there is sometimes a degree of naivety about the strength of adverse reaction you may get, but at least if you’ve asked the question you are expecting to see wide ranging opinions. What I don’t like though is when people descend into personal comments along the lines of ‘how can you be so stupid’ - on any post that isn’t necessary, it’s inconsiderate at best, downright rude at worst.

Lisagran Mon 30-Nov-20 18:58:22

Yes, Lucca a ‘big booty’ is much to be desired among young women at the moment. I had a biggish bum when it was desirable to be small and pert - and now have a flat backside, due to gravity, when bigger bottoms are “in” grin

Back to MawBe’s question - I think many posters asking AIBU, are really asking for confirmation of their own opinion - and so are easily riled is slightly challenged

Lucca Mon 30-Nov-20 18:43:42

I gather nowadays “Does my bum look big in this “ is actually hoping for a Yes answer .......weirdly.

Lucca Mon 30-Nov-20 18:42:52

kittylester

I agree with smileless. There are people on here who are terribly blunt.

Then again, there are people who ask silly questions.

Equally there are people who are amazingly touchy and talk,about being “got at “ at the first sign of what Maw is talking about !

kittylester Mon 30-Nov-20 18:32:23

I agree with smileless. There are people on here who are terribly blunt.

Then again, there are people who ask silly questions.

cornishpatsy Mon 30-Nov-20 18:08:04

I would only ask for an opinion if I wanted an honest answer.

I tend not to give an opinion unless asked for one and then it will be an honest one.

There have been many posts on here where it puzzles me as why opinions are being sought, trust your own judgement or if you really want an opinion accept not everyone will agree with the poster.

Kate1949 Mon 30-Nov-20 17:59:06

I hate it when people ask "How old do you think I am?' I usually put my foot in it even though I take a few years off how old I think they look.

Smileless2012 Mon 30-Nov-20 17:57:52

It's not whether or not you disagree with a poster but how that disagreement is expressed, and depending on how it's expressed will determine whether or not it's regarded as bullying.

petra Mon 30-Nov-20 17:53:02

MawBe
Not only are they not prepared for the truth but if one has the temerity to go against the there, there of course not we are called bullies.

Marydoll Mon 30-Nov-20 17:24:57

I think I can see where you are coming from Maw.

I do suspect that on occasions people ask such a question, looking for affirmation and get upset when told that they are indeed being unreasonable.

It happens quite often on GN. If you post on a public forum, you leave yourself wide open to views different from your own. That's a risk you take, as some of us have experienced to our cost.

larry5 Mon 30-Nov-20 17:17:06

There are questions you should never ask if are not sure what the answer will be. My exsil asked my brother if he loved her and when he said no she through something at him. DB was having an affair which led to the break up of their marriage.

The item she threw hit him {she wasn't intending to hit him) and she ended up having to take him to hospital to have some stiches put in. My opinion is that he got what he deserved.

AGAA4 Mon 30-Nov-20 17:16:49

I suppose that is what we are hoping for but need to be prepared for honesty.

MawBe Mon 30-Nov-20 17:11:48

Along with “Does my bum look big in this?” - are people really prepared for a “Yes” answer?
When people preface an opinion or point of view or an account of something which has happened, with AIBU, is it not permissible to answer “Well, actually, yes” ?
If that occasions disappointment in the OP, or causes him or her “distress” , why did they ask?
Do OPs expect everybody to say “There, there, of course not” regardless?
Just wondering.