To say I'd rather meet in the park.

I think you've dodged an incredibly annoying catch up! Good for you.

I got a text back saying she has to drive her husband somewhere because his car is being serviced and she'll need hers later to go shopping, and a delivery didn't arrive yesterday and she's hoping it will come later this morning and her son often wears earphones when he's working and won't hear the bell........

I just texted back that she seems to have a lot on this morning and let's postpone until a better time

Not unreasonable at all, especially as you’ve confirmed she’s always been like this. Well done sending the text.

This could be me. I much prefer people to come to me. If I go out I worry - are the dogs OK, what if there is a delivery (driver might open front door and put it inside then the dogs might rip it or worse get out), are there nice toilets where we are going, will I like the food - you get the picture. So perhaps your friend is the same.

Well done you for the text. That was the first difficult task. The next one will be to stick to your guns if she reneges. I would go one further and say I would still go to the park and hope she changes her mind.

She was like this before Covid and she's definitely not agoraphobic. She tends to be bad at managing her time and I think she finds it easier if people come to her than trying to fit in the time to drive to and from the planned venue , look up train or bus timetables etc

But it usually means putting extra travel and inconvenience on the other person.

Anyhow I've taken a deep breath and sent the text.

I’ve got a friend like that. I think she really enjoys the feeling of her house full and stuff going on in it. I usually get the daughters and grandchildren joining in too!

I’m reconciled to it now. It’s part and parcel of this particular friendship. She’s just not an eatout/coffee person.

I think you should stick with the original plan, particularly if she has form for wanting things her way. The park sounds lovely. It may be that she has anxiety around going out, especially in these covid days. But there is less likelihood of picking up a virus in the open air than in her house. Tell her you are looking forward to the park.

No, YANBU, if you would rather do the park just the two of you catching a breath of fresh air, then say so! Does she suffer from a form of agoraphobia do you think, or has this only started since Covid arrived?

Exactly what you said , a text saying stick to the original arrangement if she doesn’t like it tough. Go anyway and have a coffee and nice walk.

That should have been “sensing “ a touch of agoraphobia. ?

Not in the slightest!
Is she being selfish or are you sending a touch of agoraphobics perhaps? Or is it difficult for her to leave the dogs perhaps.
Might be worth finding out, but stick to your guns!

Yes , do send that message , it’s true and maybe she needs encouragement to get out of the house

Not unreasonable at all. In fact, a very tactful reply! However, she may still be worried about going out so perhaps you could delve a but further....

No it would not be unreasonable! Do it.