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AIBU

Siblings using the same spoon and cup at the same time

(59 Posts)
Gigi27 Fri 23-Jul-21 18:08:43

My daughter lets her two daughters eat and drink from the same cup and cutlery at the same time. I suggested to her that it would be better if they had their own for each meal. My daughter replies by saying it’s only family germs,but they seem to pass colds and sniffles to each other!
Does anyone have any suggestions how I can make her see my concerns, or is this the way they parent these days?

agnurse Mon 26-Jul-21 09:16:42

I have read that apparently children wanting to eat from a parent's plate is a safety adaptation. If mum and dad are eating it, it must be safe, and therefore good to eat! Really, there are far more serious things to worry about.

Back in the Middle Ages, I believe people commonly shared a "plate" (more commonly a trencher, a large piece of stale bread that served as a plate) and a cup between two people at a meal.

Callistemon Sun 25-Jul-21 23:43:30

If I'd given mine one bowl of food and one spoon they'd have been scrapping and the dog would have eaten most of the food from the floor ?

Or DS would have scoffed it all before you could say Jack Robinson.

lemongrove Sun 25-Jul-21 23:24:38

Callistemon

It seems odd to me because you wouldn't be able to judge how much food each child was eating.
Surely the little one is in a high chair?

The germs issue is not concerning because they'll pass germs between themselves anyway.

I wonder why they can’t have a spoon each? Seems a bit odd.
Ours as grandparents not to wonder why though.

lemongrove Sun 25-Jul-21 23:22:16

Callistemon

Fingers were invented before forks.

That’s what I tell him indoors.?

Callistemon Sun 25-Jul-21 23:12:03

Perhaps buy them something like these each!
www.prezzybox.com/personalised-teddy-cutlery-set.aspx?glcountry=GB&gclid=Cj0KCQjwl_SHBhCQARIsAFIFRVU0iKLDvEq8qcx0wIQr-4w7KAvKdhdMWcTvKDciZyFctROlMaHKqI4aAgzsEALw_wcB
Other makes, retailers and prices available.

Or these for the baby:
lloydspharmacy.com/products/tt-explora-first-cutlery-set?currency=GBP&variant=39249183473727&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&gclid=Cj0KCQjwl_SHBhCQARIsAFIFRVUXEkeeHenStoNERazZsHddC5l1E75xDhF9-CT8f-x5ZqmMlV3s1VkaAoFKEALw_wcB

That will be called out as passive aggressive by the newcomers from Mumsnet ???

Or just ?

nexus63 Sun 25-Jul-21 22:45:02

sometimes the younger child eats better because they want to do what the older one does so drinking from the same cup or using the same cutlery is normal, my son was a picky eater until he started sitting at the table with his dad and then he wanted to try the same food his dad had, i think this is normal and it is how kids learn, as for germs they would pass them back and forth as they play or cuddle, no point in an argument, just because you would not do it does not mean it is wrong, let your daughter parent the way she wants, in the end it is nothing to do with you.

LovelyCuppa Sun 25-Jul-21 22:28:52

Surely a parent is there when they are eating and can see exactly how much each child has eaten! I love the posters thinking that if the children share cutlery at home they will never learn how to eat in public grin

Ladyleftfieldlover Sat 24-Jul-21 20:03:41

Not worth getting your knickers in a knot over!

Kali2 Sat 24-Jul-21 19:46:01

At school, post war, we were all given Cod Liver oil, on a big spoon, We queued up and had a spoon each - yep, same spoon.

Irrelevant I know, but your post reminded me of this.

Callistemon Sat 24-Jul-21 19:41:36

It seems odd to me because you wouldn't be able to judge how much food each child was eating.
Surely the little one is in a high chair?

The germs issue is not concerning because they'll pass germs between themselves anyway.

FannyCornforth Sat 24-Jul-21 17:19:31

Kali2

How old are they btw?

3 years and 1 year old

MerylStreep Sat 24-Jul-21 15:54:48

Franbern

At such a young age I really cannot see that it matters at all. People are becoming obsessed about germs etc. When I had my twins, I always used one bowl and one spoon when t hey were starting on solids, That was nearly fifty years ago. They managed to grow up into good professional jobs and learnhow to us ecurtlery and crockery appriately. 1 & 3 years old are still babies, let them be.

Franbern
Phew!!!!
You were lucky ? insert sarcastic emoji here ?

Tricia247uk Sat 24-Jul-21 15:44:31

TBH, at their age I don't see it as a problem. Coughs and colds are readily passed around families, especially at this age and separate cutlery etc. won't change that. It's not a case of 'the way they parent these days'; this is your daughter and grandchildren you're talking about! You raised your children the way it suited you-your daughter is raising her children the way it suits her. Neither way is right or wrong. Personally I think you should be less critical and more supportive. Parenting is tough without criticism from family members.

Kali2 Sat 24-Jul-21 15:36:53

How old are they btw?

Kali2 Sat 24-Jul-21 15:36:32

Most bizaree- I mean how difficult is it to provide a mug and knife and fork each??? Just don't get it.

But you have to keep out of it- you've said it once or twice, and it hasn't worked. So becoming a 'thing' between you, and you have to butt out.

Lollin Sat 24-Jul-21 15:32:28

Me and mine have never shared then one extremely hot day out far from shops we managed to buy a few drinks with the pennies we had left. Needless to say we had an uncomfortable time sharing the bottles while my friend and her family were very comfortable doing so. I envied them.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 24-Jul-21 14:02:19

Children in the same family or later on in the same classroom will pass colds to each other whatever you do or don't do.

You have expressed your concern, now leave the matter be.

It sounds a very odd idea to me, but it is quite decidedly one of the things a grandmother should not comment upon unless asked for her opinion.

Franbern Sat 24-Jul-21 13:13:17

At such a young age I really cannot see that it matters at all. People are becoming obsessed about germs etc. When I had my twins, I always used one bowl and one spoon when t hey were starting on solids, That was nearly fifty years ago. They managed to grow up into good professional jobs and learnhow to us ecurtlery and crockery appriately. 1 & 3 years old are still babies, let them be.

Nannan2 Sat 24-Jul-21 12:40:14

*is'nt it.typo

Nannan2 Sat 24-Jul-21 12:37:29

Can't be too careful though these days- what if one had caught the dreaded covid bug ,at nursery perhaps? She wouldn't want it passing to youngest, would she? This could make her lax in other ways also.Isn't that how kids learn about 'proper' grown up eating, by having their own plates, bowls, cutlery, cups etc? If it was just a plate of sandwiches maybe yes, as they could take what they wanted, but proper meals,then no.Seems odd.

Caleo Sat 24-Jul-21 12:26:05

MawBe, smile smile

MawBe Sat 24-Jul-21 12:22:57

Caleo

I hope my family all know not to feed their dogs from their forks at table, when they are out in polite company.

Surely not a problem as long as the dogs know the correct cutlery to use?

Caleo Sat 24-Jul-21 11:00:43

I hope my family all know not to feed their dogs from their forks at table, when they are out in polite company.

Shel69 Sat 24-Jul-21 10:34:33

I did this with my triplets but when they were able to hold a spoon they had their own, when they were toddling they usedto picked up each others drink bottles, can't see how they shared at that age mine wouldn't be that patient to wait for the others

maddyone Sat 24-Jul-21 10:33:28

When my daughter was weaning her twins, she had one bowl of food and one spoon. A mouthful for him, then a mouthful for her. They both had finger foods on their high chair tray. When they both had a bowl of food and spoon, she still had another spoon to use to help them both. When we did childcare we used her system.