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AIBU

Siblings using the same spoon and cup at the same time

(59 Posts)
Gigi27 Fri 23-Jul-21 18:08:43

My daughter lets her two daughters eat and drink from the same cup and cutlery at the same time. I suggested to her that it would be better if they had their own for each meal. My daughter replies by saying it’s only family germs,but they seem to pass colds and sniffles to each other!
Does anyone have any suggestions how I can make her see my concerns, or is this the way they parent these days?

trisher Sat 24-Jul-21 10:24:32

I agree with vegansrock she's just found a way to stop those minor quarrels about who has what. It will only work for a while anyway and then they'll want their own, or grown up ones!

allium Sat 24-Jul-21 09:21:24

Don't think there is much to worry about.

Shelflife Sat 24-Jul-21 09:18:09

A bit unusual , however not a major issue in the grand scheme of things. Ideally I think each child should have it's own bowl/ plate and cutlery. It does seem an odd thing to do and fail to imagine what the reason is !? You have mentioned it to your daughter so best not to pursue the issue. ' No doubt this practice will pass in time. It is difficult when our adult children parent in ways we find hard to understand. The most important thing is to not allow this to develop into an awkward situation between you and your daughter. As the years go by there will be times when your daughter will need your support and understanding as her children develop. I think it is very important that you preserve your relationship for the future. Don't worry.

M0nica Sat 24-Jul-21 09:02:19

I wouldn't be worried about hygiene, I doubt they will catch anything deadly from each other.

It is just the negative affect on the children if others see them doing it outside their own home.

But I was not a great baby book reader in my child rearing days, but I do remember a phrase from the Spock book on potty training and parents worries about it being slow or difficult. 'How many 13 year olds do you see in nappies?'

This is a phase, they will growout of it.

timetogo2016 Sat 24-Jul-21 08:51:17

Table manners springs to mind.

vegansrock Sat 24-Jul-21 08:47:49

Children that age usually want whatever the other ones got - the red/ blue cup / whatever. Maybe it’s a way of avoiding a meltdown. I’m sure they won’t be doing it in a few years time.

Hithere Sat 24-Jul-21 01:49:02

It is none of your business.

Your daughter is super busy with 2 kids under 3, this is a blip in her radar.

I am sure that the kids share toys, so germs are everywhere.

Using separate cutlery wont make much of a difference.

V3ra Sat 24-Jul-21 00:41:50

When my older children were about four and two years old, I'd give them both the same nutritionally balanced meal.
One of them would eat all the veg, one would eat the meat (or whatever). Then rather than waste what had been left, I'd swap their plates over and they'd each finish the other one's dinner.
They've both grown up with a strong interest in food and healthy eating.
Small children can be funny creatures ?

Callistemon Fri 23-Jul-21 21:31:40

?

Grannybags Fri 23-Jul-21 21:23:30

Callistemon

Fingers were invented before forks.

That's one of my Mum's sayings and very true!

Callistemon Fri 23-Jul-21 21:06:02

Fingers were invented before forks.

Newmom101 Fri 23-Jul-21 21:04:27

I have children the same age. I give them their own cutlery and cups but inevitably they end up swapping a sharing throughout anyway.

With snacks I’ve given up and just place it on one plate and they share. They’ll even swap ice lollies once half eaten. They’re siblings and close in age, they’ll get each other’s germs anyway

Doodledog Fri 23-Jul-21 19:45:55

How does it work? Are there dishes on the table with a spoon or fork in each one? Or all the food out with just one set of cutlery and it's every child for themselves?

Either way, I would leave your daughter to it. In the grand scheme of things it's not important, and she might resent your comments.

maddyone Fri 23-Jul-21 19:32:04

My daughter did this with her twin babies. Why not for such young children? But she gave them their own cutlery from around twelve months old, plus lots of finger foods.

Luckygirl Fri 23-Jul-21 19:14:36

how I can make her see my concerns? You can't so don't even try. Her children, her rules. Simply not worth risking a fall out over something so trivial!

Bluebellwould Fri 23-Jul-21 19:12:16

It’s not the hygiene that worries me but how can you tell who is eating what and in what quantity. Is the little one getting enough or is the older one eating her portion too? I would ask that at least, but in a nice way.

Gigi27 Fri 23-Jul-21 18:51:27

Thanks everyone for your comments.
I think bite my lip is the answer to this one!

DiscoDancer1975 Fri 23-Jul-21 18:50:55

The germs will pass on whatever you do. Just being in the same room. It’s just odd. Do they share everything else? When would you stop it? Perhaps when they ask for their own.

As with everything else, unless it’s life threatening, don’t get involved. It’s not worth it. However, if you go round for a meal, say you want your own cutlery...and plate....and cup....

BlueBelle Fri 23-Jul-21 18:46:19

At 1 year old the little one is still probably more a finger girl and perhaps this is the mums way of teaching and encouraging her to be a big girl and use a spoon and fork or knife and fork like her big sister
I didn’t envisage them being so young
I wouldn’t worry at all they ll soon verbalise they want their own when they see others having theirs

Maybe when they are older (they are still very young) you can buy them a set each with their name on or something like that but definitely you ve said enough and it’s really not your business

Summerlove Fri 23-Jul-21 18:45:40

Interesting
In my extended family it’s almost always beenthe older generations trying to have the grandkids share their cutlery vs getting them their own.
It’s never made sense

ElaineI Fri 23-Jul-21 18:38:46

They are still very young. Up to your daughter really. Maybe they eat better like that.

cornishpatsy Fri 23-Jul-21 18:37:54

As the children like doing it I do not see a problem. Some children refuse to use cutlery at all. They will grow out of it.

Pick your battles, in the nicest way this is nothing to do with you.

Kim19 Fri 23-Jul-21 18:37:12

And if they both want to drink at the same time?

Esspee Fri 23-Jul-21 18:36:57

Please zip your lips. You've already voiced your opinion, anything further will only cause trouble.

nanaK54 Fri 23-Jul-21 18:36:52

Quite odd in my humble opinion, but I wouldn't say a word, her children her choice