It's obvious to me, that you miss your own family who live at a distance now. You find it hard to understand her way of thinking about family ties. Your family would argue it out but still feel bonded. Your h and fil will not upset the status quo in case they upset her and estrangement happens. So you are boxed in a corner trying to gain solid family interactions. I am not a counsellor, but mil wields a lot of control regarding interactions within the family. Save yourself by looking at the situation objectively. Maybe chat to a counsellor about your need to keep the relationships all good, and doing it by yourself with no obvious support from h and FIL.
Good Morning Thursday 25th April 2024
Lack of public toilets in towns.