Gransnet forums

AIBU

Speaking of other halves ...

(116 Posts)
Ninarosa Thu 22-Aug-19 19:04:44

Do any of you lovely ladies have a secret ' leaving ' fund ?
I have, although it's woefully small as I can't seem to stop buying Gabor shoes.
Serious/not serious question !

Doodle Thu 22-Aug-19 19:06:14

In a word, no. I would be lost

TwiceAsNice Thu 22-Aug-19 19:08:42

No I didn’t have a secret fund but was very glad I was financially independent when I did leave. Set up a new bank account to pay my salary into a

silverlining48 Thu 22-Aug-19 19:10:44

Oh yes, my running away money....I had saved since leaving school at 15 and kept it for the first 40 years, now cant run fast enough so it got swallowed up in the joint account.

crazyH Thu 22-Aug-19 19:13:30

No I didn't have a secret 'leaving' fund but I knew the courts would be very fair to me and they were.
And, btw, he left, so he probably had.

notanan2 Thu 22-Aug-19 19:22:50

Not as such but I have always maintai ed my financial independance and my earning potential as well as a close eye on deeds etc.

Every woman should.

Nortsat46 Thu 22-Aug-19 19:32:57

Ninarosa I don't have an 'escape' fund, but I did google Gabor shoes ... who have a sale on. Thanks for that.
In return do have a look at Moshulu shoes, who also have a sale on.

I have about 6 pairs of Moshulu and they are really well made and comfortable. My partner has 4 pairs too. 👡👟

MiniMoon Thu 22-Aug-19 19:43:26

I ordered the most beautiful pair of Moshulu shoes. Unfortunately they were like boats on my feet and I had to send them back. 😓
I never had an "escape fund", as I never felt I would ever need such a thing.

kittylester Thu 22-Aug-19 19:45:06

What for?

midgey Thu 22-Aug-19 19:50:40

Kitty -basically anything you want! Might be a running away fund might be that treat for the other half who knows!! Your own stash grin

Gonegirl Thu 22-Aug-19 19:52:28

Far too late for any running away now. I'll stick with the old bugger.

Luckylegs Thu 22-Aug-19 19:53:40

My mum always advised me to have a little money put away at the back of my purse, just in case. Just in case of - you want to do a bunk, or buy yourself something or treat someone, etc. Good advice I have always followed when I could.

Ngaio1 Thu 22-Aug-19 19:56:42

I wish I had known about an escape fund. I most certainly have set one up. Drunken husband was always leaving trousers on the floor with money in the pockets! He had no idea how much money he spent through the day and evening and would not have known if had taken some.

Maggiemaybe Thu 22-Aug-19 20:02:55

I'm the finance manager in our house, and despite my best efforts, I can't get the other half to show any interest whatsoever in what goes in and out of the bank accounts. I have warned him that if he doesn't buck up and we ever split he'll be out of here without a pot to p--- in. He thinks I think I'm joking. hmm I am - I love him dearly.

NanaandGrampy Thu 22-Aug-19 20:04:15

Never had a secret fund of any sort. Having said that I have always had my own bank account . We have a joint account that whilst I was working we both put in a % of salary to pay bills, mortgage , holidays etc.

My money in, my account is just that - mine. My husband doesn't ask me about it , if we needed it for something then I would be fine with that but I have always maintained my financial independence and after 43 years I see no reason to change.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 22-Aug-19 20:05:33

My maternal grandmother advised me to have a “slush fund” for whatever emergency may arise.

I have always had one, Mr.Gravy has always been aware of it. We have a joint bank account for household bills, several joint credit cards but I have always had several personal credit cards to ensure my individual credit rating.

If you are only a “secondary” card holder and have no accounts/cards/ bills in your name it can cause problems if/when your husband dies.

cornergran Thu 22-Aug-19 20:11:03

Our mothers must have been related luckylegs, mine said exactly the same thing. I’ve always carried a little extra cash ‘just in case’, although I’m not sure in case of what. It feels a bit ridiculous now but habits die hard.

M0nica Thu 22-Aug-19 20:32:20

I never had a slush fund but I was always capable of earning my living at a professional living. My mother was insistent that all her three daughters should have professions. Her mother and grandmother had been widowed in their 30s with young children and as Irish immigrants life for them was very difficult.

I have always had a personal bank account and all our savings accounts were joint. For most of our working lives, DH travelled abroad a lot so all the family finances were in my hands anyway.

Grannybags Thu 22-Aug-19 20:43:03

As my Mum used to say "What's his is ours and what's mine's me own!"

sodapop Thu 22-Aug-19 21:01:45

Yes same as notanan2 I always maintained financial independence, my ex was unbelievably mean with money so I kept my own in self defence. So glad I did it made leaving so much easier.

SalsaQueen Thu 22-Aug-19 21:36:30

No, he's always had more money than me (and kept me and our 2 sons for years when I was a stay-at-home mother. We've got a joint account, and he doesn't begrudge me anything. (I'm very lucky to have him)

Sara65 Thu 22-Aug-19 22:57:30

Every time moshulu send me an email, I buy another pair of sandals, they are so comfortable, I wear them all day at work, and have some to match every outfit, love their boots too!

Regarding the escape fund, I’m the worlds worst saver, but I always used to have an escape route in mind, not for any reason, just felt if anything happened, I’d have a way out. I advise my daughters the same.
We all work together, so any break up could be awkward to say the very least!

Joyfulnanna Thu 22-Aug-19 23:02:45

Oh yes I have its what keeps me sane

callgirl1 Thu 22-Aug-19 23:43:48

I never had a "leaving fund", but every time we hada row I`d sit down and decide what furniture, etc., I`d take if I left! Mind you, I never did.

Nicolaed Thu 22-Aug-19 23:54:54

Forget the escape fund, try gin, it solves any problem!