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“Curious” neighbour

(116 Posts)
Esspee Thu 27-Aug-20 13:11:09

I would like to know your opinions to see if perhaps I am being unreasonable.
We have neighbours we get on very well with but I feel really uncomfortable with these behaviours.
This morning I called the wife for a chat, offering to put out their bins next week while they are on holiday. During our conversation I mentioned we were looking forward to a break in the same beautiful area, different hotel, next month. She asked who we had booked with.
30mins later she called back to ask if we had paid the extra £30 a night for a sea view room.
Now I am as nosy as the average person but if I had researched someone’s holiday I most certainly would not have announced the fact so overtly.
The husband is the same. We had an altercation with the council which only applied to our home. We were discussing it with our neighbours but happened to mention we couldn’t remember the exact date the driveway had been damaged. The husband said he would look up his diary for the previous year and let us know. 😳
Am I being unreasonable in finding their interest in things that are in no way any of their business odd?
Clearly they think their interest is normal as they are so overt about it.
Am I weird or are they?

HAZBEEN Thu 27-Aug-20 13:27:53

They are! I had the same issue with a neighbour and had to keep her at arms length after some of the dealings I had with her (and her family). We still speak, I am very pleasant and always ask after her health but tell her nothing!

lemongrove Thu 27-Aug-20 13:34:54

Esspee 😄
They have a diary filled with ‘daily doings’ of their neighbours.Are they retired MI5 personnel?
You will have to start keeping things under your hat ( and only remove it once home!)😁

Illte Thu 27-Aug-20 13:44:01

If you read Alan Bennett's diaries they are full of the daily doings of his neighbours - and very pithy and amusing they are too!

I can't see anything wrong in that though maybe I wouldn't have let you know 😬

Not sure about the sea view though.

Doodledog Thu 27-Aug-20 13:51:59

I would find it peculiar, too.

I feel the same when I have telephone conversations with people (two in particular) who keep an iPad nearby so that they can google whatever we are talking about. It's as though they don't quite believe what I am saying, or don't want to let me tell the story in my own way.

Both of the people I'm thinking of would definitely have googled your holiday destination and looked up your hotel during the conversation if it had been over the phone. I can't quite put my finger on why I end it rude, but I do bristle a bit when I become aware that they are doing things like that.

LauraNorder Thu 27-Aug-20 14:00:31

Mr Norder is ex police and doesn't miss a thing but even he doesn't put details in his note book any more.
We don't have immediate neighbours so not sure if he would record their goings on. I would confiscate his book if he did.
I think your neighbours are downright nosy a bit ott Esspee.

Esspee Thu 27-Aug-20 14:03:58

Illte. Do you think it’s worth £30 a night for a sea view?

Sorry, just joking. Pleased to see everybody feels like I do.

They were social workers but that may be a cover for MI5 lemongrove. 😄

Rosina Thu 27-Aug-20 14:08:11

We had a neighbour as 'interested' as yours! She seemed to know everything about us, and when I hesitated about a product we used in conversation with another neighbour, the 'interested' one kindly supplied the information. I was thunderstruck - had she been through our rubbish?? She was also the first neighbour to know I was expecting as a parcel was delivered to her house while I was at work, and it was handed to me, with the end undone, clearly showing Mothercare nappies . She wore a smug smile; she hadn't even bothered to attempt to close the end of the parcel. I was glad when she moved - today it might be called stalking!

felice Thu 27-Aug-20 14:08:21

My previous downstairs neighbours were terrible, had to know everything.
He once stopped our then Minister from coming up the stairs, questioning him as to how he got in the building and where was he going, as there were only 2 apartments it was quite obvious.
Any time anyone including me came in or out he came out of his apartment, a friend counted him going up and down to his garage 42 times when I moved out.
When I questioned him on it he said he did not like some of the people who visited me. He is very racist !!!!

sharon103 Thu 27-Aug-20 14:21:56

No, it wouldn't bother me. Just the opposite. I find these kind of people quite amusing. They can come in handy sometimes.

Grandmabatty Thu 27-Aug-20 14:26:08

I find that fairly innocuous but a bit intrusive, yes. However if they are otherwise good neighbours, then just carry on being friendly and helpful as you obviously are. But forewarned is forearmed. Don't tell them too much of your business!

sodapop Thu 27-Aug-20 16:28:52

Maybe your neighbours just have very dull lives Esspee so they take an interest in yours to liven things up a bit. It's a bit over the top to record things in a note book though.
I wouldn't be too bothered about it but I would be cautious about what I told them.

Callistemon Thu 27-Aug-20 16:33:27

Esspee we will await their book with interest grin

We have a neighbour who took an interest in what others were doing and telling them (well us) what we could and couldn't do regarding planning rules etc.
Then merrily went ahead himself and broke all the rules and got away with it.

seacliff Thu 27-Aug-20 16:34:11

Just be aware and very tight lipped about what you tell them. They could be useful if there were ever a crime in the immediate area!

Callistemon Thu 27-Aug-20 16:37:10

Ps did you book the sea view or will you just view it when you go for a walk?
🌊 ⛵🌞

AGAA4 Thu 27-Aug-20 16:38:23

Nosy neighbours are a mixed blessing. Intrusive yes but they are the ones who may notice when something is wrong.

Esspee Thu 27-Aug-20 18:25:15

I’m Scottish Callistemon.😄

I was just going to leave that answer there but for those who won’t understand.....Scots people are careful with money. They are also very generous so please do not equate carefulness with meanness.
I wouldn’t mind a small supplement for a sea view room but £30 a night? No way.
We are not going away to stay in a hotel bedroom. Regardless of the weather we will be out walking on the white sand rather than viewing it from our bedroom.

Calendargirl Thu 27-Aug-20 18:31:10

I would learn from this, and not be half so chatty with my plans and everyday happenings.

BlueBelle Thu 27-Aug-20 18:47:13

Only today my friend told me she had been out to lunch with a good friend and her daughter who she sees only occasionally because of the distance between them
When she went to get her purse out at the end of the meal the daughter said ‘oh no it’s our turn I looked it up in last years diary before we came !!!‘

Esspee Thu 27-Aug-20 18:50:35

Well at least that was to your friend’s advantage BlueBelle 😀

Harris27 Thu 27-Aug-20 18:53:08

Well we have a couple next to us and they seem to know everything about us the husband retired last year and seems hell bent on saying good morning no matter what time I go out! He always uses my name and seems just a bit weird. I avoid him like the plague!

PinkCakes Thu 27-Aug-20 21:51:41

They're nosey and cheeky.

If it were me, I'd make up some (harmless to anyone) bit of gossip, to see what they do with it.

Callistemon Thu 27-Aug-20 22:44:31

I’m Scottish Callistemon
£30 a night - certainly not, it's free when you go outside.
That looks beautiful, Esspee

My BF was Scottish and the most generous person I knew.

CanadianGran Fri 28-Aug-20 04:09:30

I remember being amazed when chatting with my sister and she mentioned that her neighbour buys her grocery on Thursdays, and the the same neighbour's mother came to visit every other weekend.

I don't even know what kind of cars my neighbours drive! In my sister's defense, I don't think she sits around peering through curtains, I just think she is very observant and notices what others do. She is also the type to remember everyone's birthday!

Spice101 Fri 28-Aug-20 06:13:03

If someone had booked a holiday in the same area as I was going but at a different hotel I would compare it to the one I booked. Chances are I had already looked at it before I booked. I would not make a call to ask if they had paid for a beach view though although may ask in conversation.

As for the matter with your driveway maybe it had somehow impacted on the neighbour - noise, not being able to access his driveway, extra vehicles parked in the street etc. which is what he noted not so much the issue from your point of view.