Finances after the mortgage is paid off. AIBU?

I would recalculate the joint outgoings when your mortgage finishes. Agree what you should each pay based on incomes sounds fair to me.

Sounds like a rejig of your finances will need to be done. The end of a mortgage is a good time to set everything out, on paper, and have a “going forward” chat.
Nothing stays the same in life and from time to time as crossroads approach we need to reevaluate and change habits, activities and ways of financing our lives.
I hope you can find an amicable solution. In your shoes I’d examine every outgoing, monthly and annual and transcribe it to a spreadsheet, have a chat, open a joint account and contribute to that account on a 50%/50% basis or, whatever is a fair percentage given your ability to contribute.
Hope this helps.

Add up all the outgoings, divide by 2 and pay that amount each into a joint account to cover the bills. If you can pay in a little more in case prices rise, it will give you some leeway. At the end of the year, if there's any surplus you can share it equally.

We did something similar while we were both working. At the end of the year we treated ourselves to something with the surplus.

I agree that the remaining bills should be shared between you.

They are not your bills and your husband should realise this. The payments were just being made that way as part of the total outgoings for the household.

The previous suggestion of 50/50 contributions to a joint account, which then is used for bill payments, sounds a sensible idea.

I would have a complete reassessment of who pays what. Lay out all current bills and reorganise to take account of the new situation.

I think it could depend on the amount of money each person has each month. I know a couple where the husband had take home pay several times more than the wife - they paid a proportion each - ie the husband paid several times as much as the wife into the account as he considered that to be fair.

Thank you. I was prepared to be told I was being completely unreasonable, so I'm pleased that this isn't the case.

I will instigate another conversation about who pays what. I earn about a third less than he does, but he gets bonuses throughout the year, which I don't, and he gets the FIT payment from our solar panels, so his income is somewhat larger than mine.

It all depends how far you want to take the independant finances.
Day to day living expenses obviously, cars? holidays? investments?, each of you do need some independant finances but if you intend to remain as a couple is there any point separating everything.
If you do separate at some point everything will be accounted for regardless of who’s account it is in.

Maths to add all the bills that are joint together, then divide by 2. Financial independence for both.

We have a joint account for bills into which we contribute equally. Recently we have to keep increasing the amount we pay in as bills are soaring. energy and food are increasing hugely, so frequent reviews are needed.

All our bills come out of our joint account. Before we retired, both our salaries went in there, and now our pensions do. DH gets far more pension than me, but our money is treated as equal.

We haven’t always agreed on everything, but I can honestly say money has never been a point of conflict. I think we have been very fortunate,

Calendargirl

All our bills come out of our joint account. Before we retired, both our salaries went in there, and now our pensions do. DH gets far more pension than me, but our money is treated as equal.

We haven’t always agreed on everything, but I can honestly say money has never been a point of conflict. I think we have been very fortunate,

CC Exactly the same here we always had a joint account when my husband was alive,never had any worries about whose salary or pension was more than the others .

Yes, you should get half of the saving. If he doesn't like that idea, then a recalculation of all outgoings is needed - and an equal share, or a share proportionate to your incomes should be calculated.

Calendargirl

All our bills come out of our joint account. Before we retired, both our salaries went in there, and now our pensions do. DH gets far more pension than me, but our money is treated as equal.

We haven’t always agreed on everything, but I can honestly say money has never been a point of conflict. I think we have been very fortunate,

Same here. We opened a joint account as soon as we decided to get married, and both salaries were paid into it (DH's was much greater than mine!). The mortgage, plus all other expenses were paid out of it. We've never had a 'his & mine' situation.

I've never felt that I couldn't buy something for myself when needed/wanted, and DH has never made me feel that I shouldn't. It has always been based on mutual respect, and trust, even when I gave up work after having our children, and we only had DH's salary.

However, we do have some friends who are shocked at the way we do things, and would never dream of sharing 'their' money with their other half. To us, that seems strange in a marriage. Each to their own.

If I was in the OP's situation, I think it only fair that you both benefit from having paid off your mortgage. Your DH currently pays £1385pm, and you pay £1131pm. Once your mortgage is paid off, he will only have £85pm to pay, but you'll still have monthly outgoings of £1131. I can't see how anyone would think that's fair, unless, perhaps, you already earn far more than your DH ...?

OP says she earns far less than her husband, so she should not pay half of the expenses.
Work out what you should pay based on his earnings ( include his bonus payments and his payments from the Solar Panels)
No way should you pay half!
It might not be joint finances for the OP but I doubt that her Husband would agree with a joint account this late in the day, he has far more to lose financially than the OP.
I worry too that as you get to Pensionable age, he will have a big fat bank account and you will have to ask him for money to top up your Pension. Time to get it sorted out.

Too late to do anything about it now, but it would have been a better arrangement if you'd actually paid half of all the monthly outgoings including the mortgage HurdyGurdy.

I'm not saying I agree with your H but I can see where he's coming from if he's always paid the lions share of household expenses including the mortgage, for some considerable time he's been paying out a considerable amount more than you.

So much easier IMO when there are joint accounts regardless of whether or not the same amount is paid in by both.