Gransnet forums

AIBU

People who say 'remind me'

(79 Posts)
Beswitched Fri 26-Nov-21 20:52:51

Maybe I'm being petty but I hate it when you arrange to meet up with someone and they say 'now won't you remind me nearer the time'. It sounds like 'I'm so busy and important but you're not so it's up to you to remember'.

Someone said that to me a couple of weeks ago. We're supposed to be meeting tomorrow. I haven't reminded her and she hasn't been in touch and I haven't bothered to remind her.

I would normally text someone the day before we're due to meet but just feel a bit irritated that it was left entirely up to me.

Lucca Fri 26-Nov-21 21:02:18

Oh dear I say it sometimes. It’s not because I’m important and busy, just forgetful and don’t always keep a calendar up to date.

Beswitched Fri 26-Nov-21 21:08:03

Maybe I'm being over sensitive as it's our first meet up since my mother died recently and I thought she might make the effort to remember.

Shandy57 Fri 26-Nov-21 21:10:11

I always confirm the night before. What's the weather like there, do you think you can still meet?

Urmstongran Fri 26-Nov-21 21:13:32

I admit I find it an irritating phrase. One friend kept saying it to me so eventually I smiled and said ‘no, put it in your diary - like me’.
Ditto ‘take care’ makes my teeth itch. Sounds condescending.

sodapop Fri 26-Nov-21 21:20:22

Oh dear I say "take care" quite a lot Urmstongran didn't realise it sounded condescending, I just want the recipient to know I do care about them

VANECAM Fri 26-Nov-21 21:24:16

“Oh bless”
Now that’s condescending!

Urmstongran Fri 26-Nov-21 21:25:13

Oh sodapop it’s me, not you! Our eldest daughter until recently used to say it at the end of many of our phone calls. Eventually I told her I didn’t like it and why. She now tells me to ‘take risks mum’.
🤣

Jezra Fri 26-Nov-21 21:34:19

I don’t like “take care” “aw bless” or anything like that. It just sounds awful. Why wouldn’t you take care anyway?

Summerlove Fri 26-Nov-21 21:37:22

I suppose I’d have to think which would annoy me more; reminding them, or being stood up at the meeting place tomorrow

NotTooOld Fri 26-Nov-21 21:47:38

Yes, I would find it annoying. Put it in your diary you lazy g*t!

Millie22 Fri 26-Nov-21 21:59:15

Aw I quite like 'take care' it's better than 'my dear' which people seem to be saying a lot lately. Hope you're feeling better Urms btw.

VioletSky Fri 26-Nov-21 22:02:15

I'm also forgetful and ask for reminders. I really hope people don't think me rude.

I'm terrible, I can write it down and lose it, I can put it on my phone calender with an alarm and forget immediately. My husband reminds me to take my tablets every night.

I don't even have a hugely busy social life and will often double book myself..

Remind your friend, maybe they are asking for a reminder because you matter and they don't want to forget

Elizabeth27 Fri 26-Nov-21 22:22:47

saying remind me… makes me think they do not really want to meet up but are to polite to say no then if texted nearer the time they can refuse by text.

CafeAuLait Fri 26-Nov-21 22:26:03

My husband is always asking me to remind him of things. The way he says it, it is clear he has delegated responsibility to me to remember. I respond: "I'll remind you if I remember but it's your responsibility to remember that, so no promises." It usually results in him writing it down since I haven't allowed him to offload responsibility and make it my problem. I have enough to remember already.

Hetty58 Fri 26-Nov-21 22:26:39

Oh dear, I rely on being reminded - or I may forget and not turn up. No insult is intended if I just say 'remind me'.

BigBertha1 Fri 26-Nov-21 22:29:42

Blimey sounds a bit tough on people you call friends.

Urmstongran Fri 26-Nov-21 22:29:55

Definitely getting better Millie thank you so much for your kindness asking, bless. x

JOKE. 🤣🤣

Urmstongran Fri 26-Nov-21 22:30:37

*only the bless bit. 😊

nadateturbe Fri 26-Nov-21 22:34:38

Yes I would think it's a bit rude to say remind me. I would put it on the calendar.

I use take care a lot. I think it's a silly phrase but we all use it. 😕 I can't think of a better one.

She now tells me to ‘take risks mum’. grin

MerylStreep Fri 26-Nov-21 22:37:20

I always say remind me. I do have a busy life and I do wright things on the calendar but I forget to look at the calendar 😟

CafeAuLait Fri 26-Nov-21 23:22:39

MerylStreep

I always say remind me. I do have a busy life and I do wright things on the calendar but I forget to look at the calendar 😟

But everyone has busy lives, so why do they have to remember other people's commitments too? I have enough trouble keeping my own commitments straight. I'm not taking responsibility for someone else's as well. I remember mine (and those of the people I care for) by keeping a diary.

If someone needs reminding, it doesn't sound like whatever I've arranged with them is important enough, or something they are looking forward to enough, to remember on their own. If they don't show up, that's fine once, maybe once in a while. We all have our weak points and make mistakes. After that, they are just unreliable and I don't have the energy for that.

Spice101 Fri 26-Nov-21 23:31:19

I don't think it is necessarily about being reminded per se, rather just a check up that all is well to go ahead with the arrangement.

Take care is a phrase I use often, I suppose it is just an alternative to many other phrases used in closing a conversation. I don't think it is in any way condescending.

You could always answer with " remind me to remind you"

freedomfromthepast Fri 26-Nov-21 23:32:38

This also bothers me beswitched. Anyone who knows me knows I have a wicked case of ADHD and can barely keep track of my own life. I can not possibly keep track of other's schedule as well.

One of the biggest reasons this bothers me is this, the person I am meeting is important enough to me to ensure I remember to attend, even with my ADHD. Technology makes it very easy to put things on a calendar and have it remind me. I use it because I know that, without it, I would forget.

I someone forgets once, I understand and move on. If it happens more than once, I think that I must not be important to that person, so I will find a new friend who does think I am important enough to remember our appointments.

maddyone Fri 26-Nov-21 23:33:47

I don’t think I’d be irritated if someone said that to me, but to be honest, no one ever does. I put future plans into my phone calendar and check it each week so I know what I’m doing. I confess to saying ‘take care’ sometimes though. I would only ever say ‘bless him/her’ about a child, but may go the whole hog and say ‘bless his little cotton socks.’ My mother used to say that too, but only about a child.