Charging family for Christmas lunch

YANBU.
I have no further comment!

I have read a very similar post on Mumsnet. I would be saying, no thanks. I'll not bother coming.

Oh yes I’ve thought of a comment.
I’d politely decline the invitation.

Great minds Grandmabatty.

Oh, I’ve declined. I just think it’s a blooming’ cheek, and wondered if that’s what other GN’s thought.

I agree that YANBU, and that it's a bloody cheek!

I see no harm in asking people to bring a bottle, but paying for an invitation is not on - you may as well go to a restaurant and order what you want to eat.

I can't imagine ever inviting anyone over for a meal and charging them. If I couldn't afford to invite them I wouldn't
If I had to do anything at all I might ask them by to contribute a dish but only if they wanted to. I would never ask for cash!

This has got to be a wind up surely? No one would seriously have the brass neck to charge people, that they've invited, to a Christmas lunch would they? If they have, I'd have to consider that, as the event is now a financial/business arrangement, and not simply a host/guest invitation, that all the formal Food Hygiene Regulations 2006 protocols are being followed, complete with a 5 star food hygiene award by the Food Standards agency. If they wanted me to pay, they'd have to earn it.

I would have turned down the invitation the minute I had found out it was a cash transaction.Not the money but the principle!

Never heard anything like it before. YANBU
Weird

If it is a specific & direct invitation with the proviso that everyone chips in , then that would seem to be reasonable, however if it is an unexpected invitation then a token bottle of wine or something of that ilk should be acceptable & mannerly. Best wishes .

The more I think about this, the more it annoys me! I have hosted Christmas dinners for decades. The last 20 years I regularly had eight or nine or more for a meal and then a buffet supper. I was a single parent and sometimes I was skint but I would never have asked for money from guests who I had invited. I think it's the height of cheek and bad manners.

Good point about Food Hygiene, Chewbacca !

I'd be inclined to decline and to add "But I'll give the money to charity instead" !

YANBU.
What a shame though that people think like this?
I used to host up to 25 family for the Christmas lunch and people brought treats and booze. MiL, especially, brought the pudding and brandy butter, BiL brought crackers.

They also brought fun and laughter, songs and stories.

I miss it and am finding this year, the second without DH and DFiL particularly strange. I have been invited to DS and DiL's.
They haven't asked for cash!

No * chewbacca*, I can assure you this is no wind up - I don’t do windups. It’s very real, and I think, pretty bad form on their part.

Didn’t realise there was a similar thread on mumsnet as I don’t do mumsnet. Seems like it’s quite a thing with some, then?

I am usually the one who hosts family for holiday meals. I do not ask for payment, but this year I thought I might have to due to the costs involved. If prices go up like this again next year, everyone will need to pitch in. We make a good salary, but when I am looking at Christmas looming and the cost of the gifts for my kids also going up, I have to decide where the best use of my money is. I may have to decide between hosting and seeing family and ensuring my kids have gifts.

For our Thanksgiving this year, my out of pocket was nearly $300. That includes a FREE turkey my sister got from her work. On a typical year, my cost was around $100, including paying for the turkey.

I do not think asking to help with the cost of the meal is unreasonable. If I were a guest, I would ask how I could help contribute to the cost of the meal I am eating.

I do, however, think that planning to use the leftovers for a completely different party is unreasonable. They should be bagged and sent home with the people who helped pay for the meal.

Just a different viewpoint for consideration.

UNBELIEVABLE!! YANBU

I heard of something similar: a couple inviting guests to their wedding and charging them for the meal, as though it was a dinner dance. 'We are providing the venue and the disco' was their reasoning. Never heard if anyone went.
You are quite right to decline the invitation.

I can see your point of view freedomfromthepast, but there are other ways of doing it if costs are becoming prohibitive. A shared meal is one, with everyone bringing a contribution. Or simply inviting fewer people.

It’s outrageous, I wonder what the other family members they’ve invited are thinking!! They sound very mean spirited, I really don’t think I could stand being in their company.

It's difficult to believe that this situation is happening. I would hope that few would agree to take part in the meal but maybe several might decide to drop in on the 'hosts' with a sarcastic food parcel. (Cheap Christmas pudding, turkey twizzlers, oven chips?)

YANBU I have heard of this before, but from a personal perspective, when I invite people to my house for lunch/dinner Christmas whatever, when they ask me "what shall I bring?" my reply is" just yourself/ves". Although most often they always bring something such as a bottle or even two, and that is what we do when going to others for a meal. I know when I was in Australia it seemed pretty common place for everyone to bring a dish. A good idea, that worked well when so often the entertaining was out of doors. Having said that I'd never ask for a contribution, I'd rather not host than do that.

I think there's no harm in it if the hosts are upfront that they need contributions to the cost because they can't afford it all themselves.
If the hosts can afford it but choose not to, that's different.

Goodness no, YANBU, and I certainly wouldn’t be going.

On the other hand, I’d always offer to take something towards the day - the pudding perhaps, or some nice Christmas crackers. As well as the usual bottle.