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AIBU

Do you have a ‘helpful’ husband?

(106 Posts)
Quizzer Wed 03-Aug-22 15:32:51

Oh how I wish my DH would not be so helpful! This morning he came outside to ‘help’ me hang out a large basket of washing. This means he keeps spinning the rotary line just as I am pegging something on and stretching items such as T-shirts when pegging them himself.
While I was out this afternoon he had brought in the washing and put it away - fantastic! Except for the fact that he has put away all the things that need ironing (he never helps with that) and has carefully folded all my pants (who folds knickers?)and put them away in my underwear drawer. Great except that they are not quite dry! I am sure that he really thinks he is helping but most of the time it just makes more work.

foxie48 Wed 03-Aug-22 15:56:05

I just let my OH do the washing and I don't iron anything unless it's something "special" I think you should encourage him. Mine used to mix coloured with whites but I just bought another laundry basket and made sure they were kept separate. He sometimes hangs things out badly but I quietly rearrange anything as needed when he's not looking!

chloe1984 Wed 03-Aug-22 15:57:14

I think I wrote this !

Bellanonna Wed 03-Aug-22 16:09:45

DH hangs sheets by folding them across the line, so that the middle of the sheet is the bit that gets pegged. I have the edges upmost. Far easier to take down and fold. However he does fold the ones he pegs out and folds them beautifully, so not much to complain about really.

Patsy70 Wed 03-Aug-22 16:13:36

There are a number of chores that I really do not want his ‘help’ with. I don’t even like him mowing the lawn when I’m away as he usually manages to b….r up the machine or make a complete mess of the grass. We’ve each got our own strengths and weaknesses.

TillyTrotter Wed 03-Aug-22 16:13:39

DH is meticulous about his own washing (mostly golf-wear),
and I deal with my clothing and the household linen.
He leaves me to it and I prefer it that way.

TillyTrotter Wed 03-Aug-22 16:14:18

PS I mean bedding and towels - I don’t have anything that is actual linen.

PollyDolly Wed 03-Aug-22 16:16:07

My OH is quite good with the laundry actually. He always. turns his jeans inside out for washing and I educated him in doing the same with tee shirts, sweaters, leggings etc. He quite likes doing the ironing although he hasn't quite mastered the art of controlling a viscose dress with a mind of its own. He makes an excellent job of stripping and remaking the bed. However, he does not dust or polish but he will run the hoover over the carpets so I can't complain. Might start hiring him out......any takers?

LauraNorderr Wed 03-Aug-22 16:19:37

My husband has a helpful wife and I have a helpful husband. We do play to our strengths and work together well most of the time.
Not being smug, just telling it like it is.

TillyTrotter Wed 03-Aug-22 16:19:58

You have taught your OH well PollyDolly. 😉
.I have achieved nowhere near as much as you during our 44 years of marriage.

MrsKen33 Wed 03-Aug-22 16:20:08

My DH is just like yoursPollyDolly Bless him

Quizzer Wed 03-Aug-22 16:20:45

PollyDolly - yes please!

lixy Wed 03-Aug-22 16:24:01

Mr L is great at washing, ironing and vacuuming. Absolutely refuses to do any cooking at all except toast on a weekend morning.
He won't let me paint help with painting the fence as I 'wouldn't do it right'.
However I won't let him 'help' with the gardening any more - just show him a pair of secateurs and the garden is cut down to the ground in seconds!
We have learned to play to our strengths!

ShazzaKanazza Wed 03-Aug-22 16:33:36

We are a good team I think. I do the laundry I won’t let him near it and he does the garden and decorating.
We both cook and clean the house.
When I went away with the DC when they were little I asked him to put the wash on that was in the machine. He forgot what I said and got the dirty washing out and hung it on the clothes horse where it sat for the week I was away. He once put a whites wash on boil including all the white baby hand knitted cardigans my MIL had knitted. I haven’t trusted him since. But he’s a lovely cook. He is super helpful.

icanhandthemback Wed 03-Aug-22 16:38:03

My husband thinks he is...!

grannysyb Wed 03-Aug-22 16:46:36

After I told my DH not to hang my t shirts up , he pegged them at the bottom and stretched a lovely Boden t shirt, he now pegs them up by the neck!confused

dolphindaisy Wed 03-Aug-22 16:51:22

Mine is adamant pushing the trolley round the supermarket is his job, problem is, he goes off to check the beer and I'm left with arms full of things I've picked off the shelves, trying to find him and swearing under my breath

Cabbie21 Wed 03-Aug-22 16:51:53

DH’s idea of washing is to stuff the machine full, unsorted, once a week, so I am happy to keep this job for myself.

He is good at lots of things, repairing etc, but does not do the obvious, like changing the loo roll or cleaning the fridge.

Jaxjacky Wed 03-Aug-22 16:53:36

My husband will do the washing, hoovering, dust, clean bathrooms including toilets, he does all the ironing and cuts the grass, he doesn’t cook unless I ask him to, but washes up when I cook. We’re both capable of all the household tasks, it’s whoever is around at the time.
He wasn’t ‘trained’ by me, but his Mum and Dad didn’t pander to their children, they were all bought up to be able to run a house on their own and muck in.
Many men are just let off/excused household chores, often by their Mothers, behaviour endorsed by their subsequent partners, you reap what you sow.

Mine Wed 03-Aug-22 16:58:56

My husband is amazing at household chores and cooking...I like to do the washing as I keep everything separate and my OH wojld just put it all in together...We take a night each at making the dinner and doing the dishes....He also does all the garden and DIY....My mum loved him and used to say I knitted him..grin

Blossoming Wed 03-Aug-22 17:26:43

Mr B does all the things I can’t. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

Baggytrazzas Wed 03-Aug-22 18:02:50

TillyTrotter

You have taught your OH well PollyDolly. 😉
.I have achieved nowhere near as much as you during our 44 years of marriage.

I too have failed miserably here

TerriBull Wed 03-Aug-22 18:13:19

I think we have a pretty equal division of labour in our household, I do all the grocery shopping and cooking. My husband does more housework than me possibly? We had a cleaner until we moved recently, we'll probably look for another soon, he hired our previous one when he got fed up with heavy duty stuff like the bathrooms. I have no elbow grease apparently hmmHe loads the dishwasher, but washes the crockery first confused He does complain sometimes about the debris I leave, but I cook from scratch mostly, my riposte to him on that is two words "Pot Noodle" ergo no washing up! We both make each other coffee and tea I'm often downstairs doing the first one of the day to have in bed. He does the garden, I tidy the bedrooms, iron the bed linen, iron my clothes, round up the washing, he does his, ironing before he retired I did his ironing too, but he was happy to take that over. He fills my car up (I'm ashamed to say) and generally sorts out MOTs and servicing blush I need to get a bit more involved in that sort of thing. I book travel and holidays on line once I've run those past him for his approval he leaves all that to me plus anything else like booking the cinema, which isn't that often. We discuss money and will take over individual bills, I have no complaints I feel ours is an equable relationship. Social arrangements we both make, I always bear in mind he has certain golf fixtures in his diary so work around those.

Sara1954 Wed 03-Aug-22 18:19:31

I don’t really like my husband doing anything, I know it sounds mean, he’s a good kind hardworking man, but he has absolutely no talent for DIY.

He’s not a bad cook, but that’s about it.

We are much happier now that he realises I’m a perfectionist control freak, and he’s an inept bodger, we now get other people to do things, it saves so many rows, both happy

Yammy Wed 03-Aug-22 18:41:53

Yes, I do, although we both irritate each other at times.
We don't always do things in the same way,I am the everything in it's place person,he leaves things around that get put away and then he can't find them.
He helps now he is retired much more than before and listens to me and helps around the house with jobs he considers "manly". He is also an excellent cook.