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AIBU

Etiquette after taking in a neighbour's parcel?

(100 Posts)
BlushingSheep Tue 27-Sep-22 01:15:41

Today, I, against my better judgement, took in a neighbour's parcel. This is not a NDN but someone a little further down the street who NEVER comes and collects. I always end up calling there several times over the course of a few days before I can offload it (and, the delivery guy always leaves a card) After the last time I vowed never to do it again, and yet...

So, here's the thing. If I take in a parcel for a NDN, they come and collect it from me and vice versa. I thought this was the normal way of things. It's your parcel so you go and fetch it.

What do you do?

3dognight Tue 27-Sep-22 02:07:08

I’m not sure there is a right way tbh.
I only take parcels in for neighbouring houses maybe two or three doors max each side, and the ones I can see across the road from front window.
I would always try to take it over at the first opportunity, or husband would. Some people have huge items delivered and I just want them out of my way.
For someone who never collected quickly, especially if I had tried to take it round a couple of times I would lock it in the shed till they came and asked after it.

MissAdventure Tue 27-Sep-22 02:10:40

My hall ends up like the sorting office.
Next door, lovely woman and her grown up son; they just never answer their door, and then as soon as I've taken their parcel (s) in, they knock mine and ask for them.

Upstairs, I am not keen on, and they seem to go away for weeks, so I end up with piles of parcels for them, they come home and still never knock.

The lady opposite used to spend all day in bed, so I would take her parcels in, which were often live fish, then I worry about the fish!

3dognight Tue 27-Sep-22 02:22:44

Miss A I thought you were doing housework. Lol, from the night owls thread. That definitely dedication to neighbours- but I’m not sure about live fish. If I’d ordered live fish I’d be outside waiting for the delivery van!

MissAdventure Tue 27-Sep-22 02:38:24

Well, I have just swept my living room floor.
The later it gets, the more I need to sit down and rest between chores.

My sleep pattern is horribly messed up.

MissAdventure Tue 27-Sep-22 02:40:10

You see, I need to rest, because tomorrow I'll be putting in a full day at my parcel delivery and distribution centre (aka; my flat)

SunshineSally Tue 27-Sep-22 04:52:31

MissAdventure

You see, I need to rest, because tomorrow I'll be putting in a full day at my parcel delivery and distribution centre (aka; my flat)

Lol MissA ??

Dickens Tue 27-Sep-22 05:16:16

3dognight

I’m not sure there is a right way tbh.
I only take parcels in for neighbouring houses maybe two or three doors max each side, and the ones I can see across the road from front window.
I would always try to take it over at the first opportunity, or husband would. Some people have huge items delivered and I just want them out of my way.
For someone who never collected quickly, especially if I had tried to take it round a couple of times I would lock it in the shed till they came and asked after it.

I’m not sure there is a right way tbh.

I think there is a right way. If you agree to take in a package for a neighbour and that neighbour has been informed, then it is up to them to collect from you, not for you to have to guess when they might be in for you to then complete the delivery.

... and certainly if it's a huge item. Should you be expected to lug it around to their house only to discover they're not yet home?

I've taken in many packages for my NDN and seen the courier put the note through their door. They NEVER collect and I never know when they are home so have had to make several attempts to deliver. Now I refuse to take in their goods.

Unless I'm missing something, the whole idea of leaving a note is to let you know where you package is so that you can collect it - not for you to become part of the delivery process?

SunshineSally Tue 27-Sep-22 05:33:23

Spot on Dickens ? The only exception to this would be if I knew they were infirm and had difficulties reaching the door in time. Those delivery people don’t hang around for long I find!

Lucca Tue 27-Sep-22 06:11:16

MissA. What happened about that “intrusive “ neighbour of yours ?

You’re clearly too nice with some rather odd neighbours !! Maybe it’s time to close the sorting office for a while …

Oldwoman70 Tue 27-Sep-22 06:34:48

I had neighbours who were wine aficionados - I took in a box of 12 bottles of wine for them. I texted them to confirm I had it (too heavy for me to carry across to their house). 2 days later it was still sitting at the foot of my stairs so texted them again. When it still went uncollected I texted them saying that I would open (and drink) a bottle for every day it went uncollected - they arrived 5 minutes later!!

Allsorts Tue 27-Sep-22 06:56:05

I took a parcel in for a neighbour, after four days of going there and no one in, I realised she was on holiday. So I posted another note through and said I had it when she wanted to collect it, she didn't, I saw her car on the drive, waited until I saw her leave the house and took it to her, she was completely charming but said had been too busy. I'm sorry for the drivers I will not do it again it made it my problem.

Sara1954 Tue 27-Sep-22 06:57:19

I’ve never been asked to take in a parcel. Probably because I’m out all day, and I have everything delivered to work, except the Next lady, who leaves things in the woodshed.

I would take things in for my Nextdoor neighbor, but I don’t know anyone else very well, i would have to wander all down the lane looking at house names.

MissAdventure, have a good day at the sorting office, make sure you aren’t taken advantage of.

Katie59 Tue 27-Sep-22 07:08:36

Don’t take in parcels, if they are not at home they can get them delivered to collection points in supermarkets and other local places.

karmalady Tue 27-Sep-22 07:12:40

I take in parcels only for my two closest neighbours, who would do the same for me. If I am ever asked for neighbours further away, then the answer would be no

Could I slip in something about bins too, same neighbours, we all put all bins together for the binmen. Neighbour one often goes away for a few days and puts their recycling out, it is always me or other neighbour who brings bins back to the house, usually me. This time only neighbour one put their recycling out and this time I left the bins out. They arrived home days later and messaged me to see if I was ok. So they knew that they were taking advantage

BlueBalou Tue 27-Sep-22 07:14:30

I happily take in my neighbours deliveries but it’s far from happening regularly.
If it was frequently, inconvenient and they didn’t come for them in a reasonable time then I would start refusing to take them.

Dickens Tue 27-Sep-22 07:19:35

SunshineSally

Spot on Dickens ? The only exception to this would be if I knew they were infirm and had difficulties reaching the door in time. Those delivery people don’t hang around for long I find!

Oh, absolutely! Happy to oblige anyone who has problems. Being partly disabled myself, I know you have to be quick off the mark to catch these deliveries!

My NDNs are a young couple. They're in and out at odd times so I never know if they're going to answer the door or not - I know it's not far to walk, but I am a full-time carer for my disabled partner and also run a business part-time, and it's just another additional job I could do without.

Others in my street know I'm almost permanently at home and have asked me to 'take-in' and I do willingly because they always come and collect. I'm happy to help people who're out at work all day.

The last time I had my NDN's package sitting in my hallway for 5 days I decided to take it round and dump it in their passageway which adjoins their neighbour on the other side (who are also out at work) and left it smack-bang in the middle of the passage... my partner uses a Zimmer and the rather large (but not heavy) box was getting in his way! On the one and only occasion they did call for their delivery, it was 10 at night and I was in the middle of helping my partner into the shower! Enough is enough!

Esspee Tue 27-Sep-22 07:45:18

I am happy to take in parcels for most of my neighbours. I send a WhatsApp telling them it is sitting in my (unlocked) porch and no need to ring the bell when collecting it. That works beautifully.
Those I won’t accept are people who have failed to collect or say thank you in the past.

FarNorth Tue 27-Sep-22 07:48:45

BlushingSheep I don't understand why you've taken in another parcel for these people when you know it'll cause you a problem.
Don't do it again.

I suggest leaving a card asking them to collect the parcel and saying, if they don't do so, you will bring it on X date at Y time and will leave it on their doorstep.

Dickens Tue 27-Sep-22 08:14:38

FarNorth

BlushingSheep I don't understand why you've taken in another parcel for these people when you know it'll cause you a problem.
Don't do it again.

I suggest leaving a card asking them to collect the parcel and saying, if they don't do so, you will bring it on X date at Y time and will leave it on their doorstep.

You (one) tends to do it because you're caught on the hop, and don't want to be churlish or un-neighbourly.

Until experience teaches you otherwise.

MawtheMerrier Tue 27-Sep-22 08:14:45

Echoing Far North.
Why not just say “No” ? Unless they are people you want to help, (which would the case for the people who live near me,) then say “Sorry, no”
Possible reasons if you feel you need to give one could be “I’m going to be away, I need the access/hall to be clear, I’m disabled, it’s not convenient, or I haven’t got room.”
Their parcel, their problem.
I don’t understand why a person would do something they don’t want to do,( based on previous experience) and then be surprised at the outcome.

Aveline Tue 27-Sep-22 08:20:48

Spot on MawtheMerrier. Absolutely no need to take in anyone's parcels. No excuse needed either. Just say no.

harrigran Tue 27-Sep-22 08:53:22

I accept parcels for my neighbour in joint semi and my neighbour opposite but stopped taking in parcels for tenants in flats. They got really cheeky, parcels got larger and we ended up with enormous TVs, bicycles and live fish too. The flat dweller was still having fish delivered to my address after he had moved out, I had to contact the letting agency to get it sorted.

Cabbie21 Tue 27-Sep-22 08:58:13

I am slightly surprised that some of you have the mobile numbers of your neighbours to text or WhatsApp them.

I will take in parcels for the next couple of houses but I wait for them to be collected. I would decline anything large or tricky, live fish included!

Blossoming Tue 27-Sep-22 09:25:05

Didn’t we have a very long discussion about this a few months ago?