Gransnet forums

AIBU

Am I An Intolerant Victoria Meldrew?

(68 Posts)
LRavenscroft Wed 22-Mar-23 10:25:25

I 'phoned my usual hairdresser yesterday to make an appointment and a voice answered. The very polite lady only had sufficient English to make an appointment but could not deal with an arrangement I have with my regular hairdresser where I wash my own hair at home because of inner ear balance problems i.e. getting water into my ears. All she kept saying was ' We wash your hair'. I then had to add that I did not want my hair washed but cut and blow dried as is my usual arrangement with said hairdresser. It is a small local hairdresser so nothing fancy or expensive. After battling I just made my appointment time and will go in and speak to my hairdresser myself the day before to explain the situation. Is it me being intolerant? I know there is a shortage of labour but to be honest with you I am seriously thinking of going elsewhere as this is the lady who decided to wash my ears with foam last summer causing the inner ear infection which took 9 months to clear. I think we oldies need to speak out when service is falling short.

Blossoming Wed 22-Mar-23 10:27:26

You could use some soft ear plugs of the kind that swimmers use.

Smileless2012 Wed 22-Mar-23 10:29:22

As this is an existing arrangement with your hairdresser LRavenscroft wont she know when she sees you have an appointment, that you'll have washed your hair before hand?

Doodledog Wed 22-Mar-23 10:31:13

That’s what I thought, Smileless. I would just turn up and expect business as usual.

MiniMoon Wed 22-Mar-23 10:33:02

Do you really need a cut and blow dry? Why not a dry trim?
I dispensed with the wash, cut and blow dry a long time ago, and now have a dry trim. Of course I keep my hair very short round the back and sides.

pascal30 Wed 22-Mar-23 10:34:58

Just go in with your hair washed,, and politely tell them this is your normal arrangement.. I can't quite see the problem if this is usual with your hairdresser.. does it make a difference to the price that maybe the receptionist didn't like?

Hetty58 Wed 22-Mar-23 10:35:21

I never have mine washed because of spine problems. Still, I just make a normal appointment, go - and ask for a spray with water instead.

I fail to see why you'd bother to pop in and 'explain' the day before - so, yes, you're overthinking and making a problem when there isn't one!

LRavenscroft Wed 22-Mar-23 10:35:34

Thank you for the answers, which are very helpful. So, yes, I am being a grump. Aren't I lucky I only have this to moan about?! Sometimes one needs to just stop and self reflect and be polite to those around us trying to help us.

Yammy Wed 22-Mar-23 11:28:04

I wouldn't take any notice of any snippy remarks. Go with your hair washed. You have health issues which are bound to concern you. I worry when going to the dentist because if they put the coach flat It makes me dizzy and I vomit. So I have to tell the Dentist and the hygienist every time.
Good Luck

Esmay Wed 22-Mar-23 11:48:43

No,you aren't intolerant .
You are the client .
You are paying them to do your hair .

I used to wash and condition my hair prior to going to the hairdressers for a trim - my hair is long . I prefer my own products and I find them rather rough .
It would be damp enough to cut .
The hairdresser would blow dry it and put it up .
I'd tip her generously and we'd chat happily .

Then , the hairdresser told me that it was their policy to wash /condition hair prior to cutting .
Okay so my clean hair was washed and conditioned .
As it's long -I just wanted it put up after blow drying .
It's not our policy to dress long hair -I was told and refused to blow dry it unless I booked a bridal appointment .

My top was soaking wet and my ears were full of water .
It was a freezing cold December day .
I didn't relish standing at the bus stop .

I bought a dry top and changed in the loo spending a while drying my hair .
And then , warmed myself up in the nearby cafe .

When I got home and combed my hair out it was so uneven -one side being two inches longer than the other.

And that is the last time that I went to the hairdressers !

Baggs Wed 22-Mar-23 12:33:37

It's not intolerance you're feeling, Ravens but irritation, which is natural inthe circumstances. As others have said, once you're at the hairdressers your usual person will pass on the washing bit as usual.

I hate going to hairdressers even for a trim. Last time I broke a wrist I had my hair cut short and kept it so while a broken shoulder was healing too. This time with a broken wrist in a cast I've managed to do my hair in a severally-bunched ponytail. I usually plait it but one wrist isn't agile enough for that at present. The new hairstyle works as well as a plait and - woohoo! - I get to avoid a hairdresser.

Calendargirl Wed 22-Mar-23 13:15:10

Do you really need a cut and blow dry? Why not a dry trim?

Because the OP is the client, and that’s what she is paying for? Perhaps she’s like me, not very handy with blow drying her own hair, and prefers to have the professionals do it.

aonk Wed 22-Mar-23 13:22:32

I think you should have whatever service is best for you from your hairdresser. Perhaps this is an unusual arrangement queried by a new member of staff struggling with English over the phone? Just turn up as usual and your hairdresser will know your situation.

Norah Wed 22-Mar-23 13:35:04

No, you're not intolerant. You wish to pay for a certain service and receive such. As in any other business, you want what you pay for.

My husband's business provides product, his buyers know what it is - he doesn't substitute washed for unwashed, he sells what each wants.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 22-Mar-23 13:54:47

I would have been extremely irritated if someone wanted to change my usual arrangement and was employed to deal with phone calls whilst barely speaking English. I would be off to another hairdresser straight away. If you’re intolerant that makes two of us.

Callistemon21 Wed 22-Mar-23 14:49:44

MiniMoon

Do you really need a cut and blow dry? Why not a dry trim?
I dispensed with the wash, cut and blow dry a long time ago, and now have a dry trim. Of course I keep my hair very short round the back and sides.

I got told off by a hairdresser once for asking for a dry trim. I'd washed and dried my hair beforehand so it was clean but she grumbled all the way through that I was ruining her scissors, they'd end up being blunt and they'd cost her £100.

Wyllow3 Wed 22-Mar-23 14:55:21

As long as you really like your own hairdresser, I'd see it as an opportunity to help someone along the way to have better understanding of the English Language?
You can never know what journey the person has been on to get a job and they might be very talented in the hair side once understood!

Baggs Wed 22-Mar-23 15:01:17

Callistemon21

MiniMoon

Do you really need a cut and blow dry? Why not a dry trim?
I dispensed with the wash, cut and blow dry a long time ago, and now have a dry trim. Of course I keep my hair very short round the back and sides.

I got told off by a hairdresser once for asking for a dry trim. I'd washed and dried my hair beforehand so it was clean but she grumbled all the way through that I was ruining her scissors, they'd end up being blunt and they'd cost her £100.

Scissors are sharpenable and you'd think someone whose income depended on sharp scissors would know that. Sounds as if she was being a right grump.

Baggs Wed 22-Mar-23 15:03:39

When I got 'dry' trims the hairdresser sprayed water onto my hair. don't they all do that? I assumed dry just meant they didn't wash it not that your hair had to be actually dry.

BlueBelle Wed 22-Mar-23 15:16:32

Well it’s not the phone lady’s fault is it ? she’s been given a job to do and doing it as best she can
When you go this time tell your hairdresser that in future when you make an appointment it means a dry cut (or a wet cut but with your own washing) or what ever it is you always have, then there won’t be any future misunderstanding. then whoever books you in your usual hairdresser will know when she sees your name that’s what it is

Callistemon21 Wed 22-Mar-23 15:25:08

Baggs

Callistemon21

MiniMoon

Do you really need a cut and blow dry? Why not a dry trim?
I dispensed with the wash, cut and blow dry a long time ago, and now have a dry trim. Of course I keep my hair very short round the back and sides.

I got told off by a hairdresser once for asking for a dry trim. I'd washed and dried my hair beforehand so it was clean but she grumbled all the way through that I was ruining her scissors, they'd end up being blunt and they'd cost her £100.

Scissors are sharpenable and you'd think someone whose income depended on sharp scissors would know that. Sounds as if she was being a right grump.

She was!
She grumped at my friend for something too so we both found other hairdressers.

LRavenscroft Thu 23-Mar-23 07:56:18

BlueBelle

Well it’s not the phone lady’s fault is it ? she’s been given a job to do and doing it as best she can
When you go this time tell your hairdresser that in future when you make an appointment it means a dry cut (or a wet cut but with your own washing) or what ever it is you always have, then there won’t be any future misunderstanding. then whoever books you in your usual hairdresser will know when she sees your name that’s what it is

Did anyone actually say that it was the phone lady's fault? The point of my post was as to whether I was being unnecessarily irritated at my age or whether I should just chill and take it in my stride.

LRavenscroft Thu 23-Mar-23 08:01:39

Hetty58

I never have mine washed because of spine problems. Still, I just make a normal appointment, go - and ask for a spray with water instead.

I fail to see why you'd bother to pop in and 'explain' the day before - so, yes, you're overthinking and making a problem when there isn't one!

The need for me to pop in and explain would be necessary as it is a busy salon and the timings are put out if you do not book in for the correct time allocated. Hence, my gripe with the receptionist. It is not about making a problem where there isn't one. It is about thinking ahead to avoid a grumpy hairdresser and member of staff in trouble.

Baggs Thu 23-Mar-23 08:04:38

That phrase about taking a thing in one's stride always reminds me of my dad. He was very good at chivvying his students (and his own kids) thus.

So, since you asked, Raven, yes, perhaps you were being too irritated, since your hairdresser probably wouldn't bat an eyelid when you turned up as usual expecting the usual.

But sometimes something new – like not being understood properly – can throw a person off kilter.

Time for a shrug, I reckon 🙂

Baggs Thu 23-Mar-23 08:05:15

x posts.

Still shrug.