I do think it is important to be honest, and one of the problems of being too strict is that the child may lie. We too had a pre-arranged "get me out of here" code, and we always said "do this, even if you have broken the rules, it is so much more important to be safe".
Letting them help make the rules can be useful as they do see the dangers - and in a changing world, maybe even better than parents can.
A colleague of mine was very strict with her children, so they never developed "street-wise" intelligence. There was a big family row about going to an Eminem concert at age 13, and she asked me to ask my kids - just a year or two older, and veteran concert & festival goers.
What made us smile was that my kids said "no way" should a 13 year old go to an Eminem concert!
I would always say as well that it is better to have a few, properly enforced rules than a lot of healf-hearted ones.
jackyann Sat 18-Jun-11 15:48:19
gurugranny Sat 18-Jun-11 08:45:54
Faye Fri 17-Jun-11 00:25:00
Lynette Thu 16-Jun-11 19:20:15
jackyann Thu 16-Jun-11 18:40:12
crimson Thu 16-Jun-11 18:03:11
mrshat Thu 16-Jun-11 17:48:25
Myfanwy Thu 16-Jun-11 17:09:42
BoffinGran Thu 16-Jun-11 13:44:10
dorsetpennt Thu 16-Jun-11 09:32:35
GrannyTunnocks Tue 14-Jun-11 18:43:01
GeraldineGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 14-Jun-11 18:37:45