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Grandchild in US

(9 Posts)
JessM Sun 10-Jul-11 08:26:19

At this age they try out different kinds of behaviour to see what effect they have - particularly on other people. And how much control they can get on other people. If the consequence is a bit of drama, someone else yelling, lots of attention etc then this is a reward for the behaviour and will encourage the behaviour. If the consequence is something like getting put straight in the buggy, strapped in, taken home then it will not reward the behaviour. Or tuck her under his arm and march off, without paying her any attention... If she screams ignore it. Whatever happens don't reward it. It's not a case of punishment - rather a case of not rewarding in any way.

It's hard isn't it because some children just don't happen to try out this stuff and others really go for it.

GrannyTunnocks Sat 09-Jul-11 23:45:19

I agree be firm but give lots of love. She will grow out of it. A tantrum is Ok in a 2-3 year old but not so good in an older child. Best tackle the problem while she is still young.

GoldenGran Sat 09-Jul-11 12:28:37

I agree Faye, it's a great age. I can think of a few people I would like to call poo poo head, but sadly am of an age when I can't get away with it and insults are meant to be a bit more sophisticated.grin

Faye Sat 09-Jul-11 12:06:23

dorsetpennt I love the 'Get Out,' that is so funny. It's such a great age and they really do have their own minds. My DIL was embarrassed when she heard my three year old grandson call her friend poo poo head! smile

GoldenGran Fri 08-Jul-11 17:15:46

julika, it may be that she will comes a cropper from an older child, but hard as it seems, maybe that is the lesson she has to learn. It's a tough old world out there. I also agree with dorsetpennt, at that age they have very strong feelings and are flexing their very tiny muscles!

dorsetpennt Fri 08-Jul-11 09:20:21

My two year old GD has started to be a bit bolshie. I think we Grannies tend to forget the terrible two's and are horrified when our grandchildren start to misbehave. My son and wife had visitors who had a 3 year old with them. My GD 'instructed' the child what he could and couldn't touch and as they were leaving shouted 'Get Out'. She is a dear little thing but is beginning to find her own personality and is from time to time quite bossy.

julika Fri 08-Jul-11 08:51:37

Thank you, Golden Gran. There is no reason for her behaviour, she has loving parents and grandparents, not to mention her nanny at home. As you say, we can only hope that she grows out of this before she comes a cropper from an older child :-(

GoldenGran Wed 06-Jul-11 09:45:42

Sounds like a strong will and early onset of terrible twos! If her behaviour is normally loveable, I think it is a problem that will go away. Her parents and yourself just need to be consistent, firm and loving. My grandson who has just turned three, is just coming out of this behaviour, which was exascerbated by his father moving out of the house and setting up home with his new girlfriend. But whatever the cause, or possiblyshe's just naturally bolshie, everyone has to unite in their disapproval of it. She need s lots of love also, she is obviously felling not in control,which of course at twenty months you're not. It is very exhausting for everyone, but keep calm and carry on! Later on her fearlessness , if not mis-directed , will stand her in good stead.

julika Wed 06-Jul-11 09:06:03

My only daughter lives in New York with her partner and 20 months daughter. They are visiting at the moment and I am horrified to see how aggressive and fearless my granddaughter is. If she doesn't get her own way (usually another child's toy), she will scream and scream, but yesterday she went for a child at least 3 years older and pulled her hair quite hard. My daughter was mortified, she is at a loss of what to do. The child is normally placid and loveable, but this aggression and fearlessness is a problem.

Any suggestions, please?