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How often to visit

(10 Posts)
NewGranLin Thu 04-Aug-11 13:44:18

I now have a beautiful granddaughter who is 4 days old. My son in law has two weeks off work and is very capable so I am not needed from a practical point of view. So how often do I visit, I don't want to be a nuisance by visiting too much but don't want them to think I don't care if I don't go enough. It goes without saying that I would move in if I could!

susiecb Thu 04-Aug-11 14:01:58

How lovely for you and it must be so tempting. I'm sure your support is needed as much as they need their alone time so its hard to strike a balance. Why not just tell them what you are thinking and ask them what would be good for them. Your SIL although practical will still get tired quickly and need a liitle help but let him say whensmile

rosiemus Thu 04-Aug-11 14:16:26

I agree susiecb - tell them exactly that and let them tell you what works for them. In my own experience someone to put the kettle on or rustle up a meal etc is usually pretty welcome (Payment in cuddles of course)

yogagran Thu 04-Aug-11 18:40:01

susiecb has put it just right, ask them what you can do and they'll be flattered that you are considering their feelings more than your own. They'll let you know what they would like I'm sure. A bit of shopping or hoovering would always be welcome - after you've got their approval of course!

coastwallker Fri 05-Aug-11 08:58:08

I went more often in the week after he had gone back to work and that was appreciated

HildaW Thu 11-Aug-11 18:18:30

NewGran - Congratulations.............just ask them, whilst at the same time let them know (tactfully) what your own limits are. I know that I would never just turn up, I know some folks have grown up being able to drop in on family members but I do think its only good manners to make an arrangement of some kind however informal. One of the best 'jobs' my own Mum did for me was to pop around in the early days at an arranged time just to be there whilst I either had an hour's snooze or a bath etc.

GrannyTunnocks Thu 11-Aug-11 20:31:13

I agree with the others. Ask how often they want you to visit. I appreciated my mum being around to make cups of tea for any visitors who called to see the baby.

glammanana Thu 11-Aug-11 23:21:50

NewGran well done on being such a considerate mum,it would be good to telephone and ask when is best as they may want "new time" together,and I think the suggestion of offering more time when SIL goes back to work
spot on,by that time your DD will probably need so extra TLC from her mum
enjoy your new DGC x

granniesruntoo Tue 30-Aug-11 22:19:54

I think after the early euphoria the best thing you can offer them both is time to sleep. A new baby's demands and lifestyle are exhausting! So ask them to let you know when they would like you to 'take over' while they nap. Then you can cuddle and sing and go for walks with your beautiful granddaughter.

em Tue 30-Aug-11 22:43:06

Spot on GrannyTunnocks! My DD loved having visitors in the early days but last year, after her 4th C-section, wasn't up to coping with them. She knew I'd be there, topping up the cake and biscuit tins and handing out the tea. My role now is to remove children to let her have a bath or sleep, to turn up with those bits and pieces she needs, or just to be on the end of the phone!