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moving home

(14 Posts)
ladybird9 Fri 19-Aug-11 03:18:22

'morning, yes it's 03.11 is anyone else out there at this time of day ? I'me moving home from one county to another, after being bereaved of my husband, I am unable to settle and have decided to have a change of scenery and hopefully new life. Whilst I still have a reasonable amount of sanity I thought that a chat to someone on Gransnet who maybe has experienced the moving traumas would understand my 'plight' is there any one out there who has suffered the moving traumas ?????

Joan Fri 19-Aug-11 03:52:01

Hello Ladybird. So sorry about your bereavement, and I really hope you are able to get your life back on track soon. Will you know anyone where you are moving to? If not, you should join things as soon as you're settled.

Moving trauma for me involves total exhaustion, so you should accept every bit of help that is offered. You should do it all in bits as much as possible, not all at once. Unpack your kettle and a couple of cups, and get takeaways to eat until you can face the rest of the unpacking.

My own situation was that various personal disasters meant we had to sell our house and move into rented, so that alone was awful. Our closest friends were not able to help as the husband was in hospital having a liver transplant. Our sons were 12 and 15; they could help a lot of course.

We moved ourselves, using a hired trailer. Big mistake. All that carrying and lifting was so exhausting that my legs buckled under me as I climbed the steps into our new place with my last box. I had to get up the stairs shuffling on my bum, staggered to bed and slept 12 hours.

Take it all as easy as possible, and use everything at your disposal to alleviate the stress.

Have a drink, take a deep breath, and get your head down asap.

Good luck for your new life!

Faye Fri 19-Aug-11 05:28:15

Ladybird I am sorry to hear of your bereavement. I have moved houses so many times I have lost count. I have moved states (I live in Australia) and I have lived in England twice which was difficult having to have everything packed and ready and then catch a plane.

My advice would be that you may find that you are homesick after the excitement of moving wears off. If you are planning on buying a property it may be better for you to rent and see if you like living there first. I am still not sure where I want to live, and wont be tying myself down at all, maybe never! My youngest daughter wants me to come and live near her (nearly 500ks from my home), luckily she has an old cottage on her property that we are doing up for me to live in. I am in the process of selling some property that I had with my ex partner so I will be able to move when its all finalized. I have promised my daughter I will stay for a year, I love it there and I think I would be happy to live there, but I know what I am like so I wont make promises.

I hope everything goes well for you!

susiecb Fri 19-Aug-11 09:43:02

Ladybird I have moved numerous times too but not on my own so I do feel for you going through this as well as your bereavement. I hope its not trite to say what my mother always said ' one door closes but another door opens'. heres wishing you a lovely new life in your new house. Take it easy on the unpacking doesnt all have to be done immediately take time to have a coffee with new neighbours. My best tip is to pay for us much help as you can afford - putting up blinds curtains decorating etc much better for your sanity and if you cant pay offer something in kind babysitting perhaps?
Hope the move goes wellsmile

bunic Fri 19-Aug-11 10:12:25

You are all , wonderful,xxx

ladybird9 Fri 09-Mar-12 07:45:39

how's your memory, unlike my own I hope, have several "senior moments", and here I am again after picking up my messages as from last year, you kindly replied to my message whereby I was almost in the 'throws' of moving, well moving complete, almost settled, but next problem, miss pottering in my garden,also the space that I no longer have, trying to solve part of the problem by volunteering my mimimal gardening skills to repotting around the block of retirement apartments that I now reside.
Apologise for 'going on', but in case you haven't noticed I also love to chat, once again thank you so much for your response and hopefully we can continue.

Wishing you well

glassortwo Fri 09-Mar-12 07:54:58

ladybird hello, I am glad you got settled and are managing to get some gardening done where you are now living. It is so satisfying to bring some colour to a piece of garden, all the other residents will enjoy all your hard work

There is always someone around on GN to chat so dont be lonely. sunshine I hope see you around the boards.

ladybird9 Fri 09-Mar-12 08:02:53

morning Faye
you probable will not remember me, but you kindly replied to a message that I compiled last year, thank you for your promptness, unfortunately since that time I have seldom read the Gransnet site, after 'picking' up today I have read my messages, thank you again, most appreciated and I hope that you are well. Almost a year ago, so where are you in your living mode, have you settled within your daughter's area. Are you still in Australia or elsewhere ? and what is your impression of England, not sure if your are actually Australian or English.
Really appreciate your response and hopefully you will accept my apologies and contact again.
All the very best is wished for you and thank you again

I am still trying to settle in my new surroundings, not easy without my husband by my side, but life goes on.


ladybird9 Fri 09-Mar-12 08:09:36

Morning Joan
Firstly please accept my apologies, last year you was kind enough to reply to a message that I posted via Gransnet, unfortunately I have have not visited the site for a long time and here I am today catching up. I hope all is well with you and your family and thank you for your kind condolensces.
I am still attempting to move forward without my husband, what other alternative is there ?
I am fortunate to have good health and able to 'pop' in my car and visit family, some of which live in the West Country which is a beautiful county.
How is life treating your?, are you now settled after your traumatic time with moving.
Apologies once again and hope that you are still in contact through Gransnet and would love to receive further contact.
Kind regards

GoldenGran Fri 09-Mar-12 09:00:27

ladybird, nice to have you back, and glad you are moving on in your life, it must be so hard.The fact you are back here shows how you are ready for new things, so welcome, GN is fun, companionable occasionally contraversial, but full of kindness, sympathy and good advice.
Where have you moved to? sunshine

ladybird9 Tue 13-Mar-12 06:13:22

good morning Golden Gran
thks so much for your prompt message, actually I have moved to Hampshire, lovely 'leafy area'. I would love to understand the site in more depth but, glad to say I am learning.
After sending a message or 2 or 3 etc, I find contact very comforting and WOW so many people willing to take part in conversations.
I have joined a walking group (ramblers) recently and fortunately a friendly team, also since moving to a flat I have no garden to attend and miss that too, what is it with us "humans" we do not appreciate just what we have until we no longer have whatever it is, crazy !!!!!!!! going back to the garden, I feel that I have a guardian angel or someone looking after me, cos only yesterday, by chance, chatting to a lady that I met, by chance AGAIN, she offered me to use her garden on a small scale, sadly she too has been bereaved of her husband and can no longer cope with her garden herself, so...... how lucky am I ????
Apologies I am waffling, s I do....... love chatting......
Once again thank you and please contact when you have a few moments free.
Best wishes

ladybird9 Tue 13-Mar-12 06:27:38

morning Glass or two
what a lovely username, I wonder does it signify that you maybe enjoy a 'glass or two', sounds good.
Thank you so much for your response very much appreciated. I am still 'groping' around the gransnet site attempting to get the most from it.
Strange how life is, when all else seems to have failed another door opens, as the saying goes, only yesterday I was at a local town hall whereby there was a professional celebrity talking about her life experiences within her working field, very interesting, anyway a lady sat beside me and we got chatting, as we do, and she mentioned that she had a garden that she was unable to cope with and offered part to me, to dig over, how lucky is that ???? so today life feels good. It is the small thing in life sometimes that make all the difference, do you not agree ?
Have you yourself been a member of the grannies brigade for long ?
It's so great to chat, I look forward to further conversations and wish you a very good Tuesday and thank you once more.
Kind regards

Faye Tue 13-Mar-12 06:52:39

Welcome back Ladybird since your last post I have moved myself late last year, with some help from my family to the country and we are renovating the cottage, slowly. I have also helped my son and daughter in law move. That was not fun, I flew to Brisbane in February to visit and got off the plane and was whisked back to my son's house then my dil and I moved boxes and went and had a look at their new house. When we got there we started cleaning cupboards, the weather is hot and steamy at that time of the year. My foot had been swollen for two weeks before I got there and I had a lot of pain from arthritis. Moving is exhausting as it is and that was not fun in the heat. I can't count the times I have moved in my life.
I was born in Australia and live here and have always felt quite at home in England. My ex husband is English and I have British ancestors, Sir Isaac Pitman (shorthand) is one.
I hope you settle soon in your new surroundings, it does take time. Best wishes. flowers

Greatnan Tue 13-Mar-12 07:04:31

Well done, Ladybird, you have obviously made a real effort to settle in well. I wasn't a member when you first posted so I am glad you have come back again.
If you want to talk to an individual member, you can click on 'private message' on their name bar and then they are the only person who can read it.
It took me a little time to get used to the site, but now I find it one of the easiest to use.