Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

grandchildren abroad

(6 Posts)
kate11 Sat 15-Oct-11 11:59:29

Hi, How many of you feel like me-- I had my grandchildren all the time for their first 8 years and then my son and family emigrated to Australia. Luckily we have recently seen them in UK for the first time in 7 years! They have returned to Australia but I am feeling the heartbreak of their first leaving all over again and can't stop being tearful . Our now grown up grandchildren have been a great joy and we re lived some moments of the times we had together when they were young. I re live the times gone by every day . They were very emotional and upset to leave us again but have now settled back to their life in Australia but I am still in tears every where I go and although such happy memories I am getting upset to go to the places without them!
I hope I don't sound selfish because I truly want them to be happy I love them dearly but I am having moments of wishing they had never gone to Australia and wishing I had had the chance to watch them grow into the beautiful people they are , I miss them so so much. We can't travel to see them due to ill health and just hope they will come back again one day. Will this terrible feeling pass? kind regards to all you grandparent s that are feeling a similar way . Kate x

Butternut Sat 15-Oct-11 13:24:59

Dear Kate11

Your post was heartfelt and very poignant. I do hope you will be able to find some contentment in your life soon. It is very difficult to have one's family so far away, but as you say, you have very happy memories and know they are getting on with, and are happy, in their lives. That in itself is something to embrace.
I feel things are still very raw for you and I do hope that in time your depth of sadness will lessen.
Engage in your life, and live it as fully as possible. You mentioned there is ill health, so I hope you are able to find some interests outside your home that you can manage.
I wish you well. x

Let me know how you are getting on.

Ariadne Sat 15-Oct-11 15:50:58


glammanana Sat 15-Oct-11 16:57:22

Kate11 Pride yourself on the fact that you raised your DS to make family choice's that have no doubt furthered his employment prospect's and his family life it is an achievement to you and your DH to be proud of.Look forward to keeping in contact via skype and the internet as your DGCs get older they will no doubt be thrilled to be contacted by their super-surfer DGPs,and is it totally out of the question for you DH to travel as the airline's are really good with peoople who need that extra bit of help when travelling.thanks

petra Sun 30-Oct-11 09:57:45

Dear Kate. My heart goes out to you. Although all my family live in the uk and very close to one another, my Husband likes to travel a lot [in Europe] with our motohome. When i get to Dover i am missing them already. Lucky for me they are a lot closer than Australia. So now, i will not be away for more than a month.
I fly back to the uk for a couple of weeks, which is where i am now.

dorsetpennt Sun 30-Oct-11 10:08:22

My parents left England in 1946 and we went travelling all over the world and ended up back in the UK in 1953. We then left again 2 years again and then back and so on. During the 7 years my mother was apart from her mother she used to talk a great deal about them, we had little letters just to my brother and me, gifts and so on. As you know there was no e-mail, skype etc - just airmail letters which could take anything from one week to three weeks to arrive. Some overtaking others. My point is that when we finally met up with them, we knew them as they'd been kept in the family conversation. Of course my grandparents couldn't visit as it took too long by boat - and living in Vancouver a 5 day train ride - for them to see us. Now the world is smaller. When I lived with the kids in NY I wrote letters, internet not arrived yet, phoned weekly and visited yearly. Australia is an awful long way I know and you are in ill health so can't visit. Would a weekly skype help. I felt so guilty moving to NY depriving my MIL of her grandchildren but we had to as we'd been posted there. I am sorry you are so upset, we all understand.