My MiL has three sons, I am married to her second son. I have known her for 12 years and have been married for 7 of those. MiL has three GC and I am mother to two of them (numbers 1 and 3). I am (until March) her only DiL.
MiL is exceedingly generous and kind hearted. She has always treated me as one of her own. As well as this she is quite insecure and a natural worrier, both of which she is aware of.
Things changed a little when I first had DD, her first GC (currently 23 months old). She was constantly telling me that she knew she'd always be less important to us than my own mother and have less involvement with our DC. I assured her each time that this is not the case, but she remains convinced that it is. I know that her mother was much more involved than FiLs mother so perhaps it comes from this?
I have now also has a DS (11 weeks). She (and FiL) see our DC once a week, most weeks, and they are always welcome to drop in although she is sure she'd be bothering us if she/they did. She seems to be becoming more and more resentful of the time I get with the DCs and DH and gets very put out if I don't immediately hand DS over when we walk through the door but gets upset if I do and DS starts crying because he's due a feed and tells me it's because he doesn't know her well enough. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive but I feel like the implication is there that I don't 'let' them spend enough time with him. They sometimes look after DD on her own, but DS is new and breastfed and they haven't had the opportunity yet.
I'm starting to feed on edge each time we see them now because I feel as though I'm not doing enough, or not doing the right thing.
DH says that I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't so don't worry about it. But I'm not happy with that and I want to improve things. Sorry this is so long, but I'd appreciate your collective wisdom if you can please help me!
Offspring Sat 31-Dec-11 06:41:19
Greatnan Sat 31-Dec-11 06:52:07
gracesmum Sat 31-Dec-11 11:55:08
Carol Sat 31-Dec-11 12:09:19
supernana Sat 31-Dec-11 12:21:39
nanarosie Sat 31-Dec-11 21:38:59
glammanana Sat 31-Dec-11 21:53:15
Offspring Sun 01-Jan-12 02:35:54