I want to ask some advice for my mum.
My brother and his ex girlfriend have a dd who is 3, and he has another on the way with his current girlfriend.
he has shared care of his daughter having her a few days in the week and every second weekend. On the weekend he has her he travels up to my mums and hands full responsibility of his dd over to my mum. She is a very demanding little girl and the poor wee thing has a lot of security issues and clings 24/7 to my mum the whole time. It is exhausting! My brother doesn't do anything for her when he comes up except nurse a hangover from being out on the town friday and saturday nights. My mum doesn't want to say anything to him because he doesn't want his dd to end up even more insecure. But she is so exhausted and it drives a wedge between my dad and her when she is up. My dad ends up sleeping in another room and my niece screams and screams until she eventually settles beside my mum in bed and she won't let anyone near my mum. We can't go over and visit as she becomes so possessive of my mum if my children go near her or touch any of their toys (I left a box of my chilrens toys there for them and my niece to occupy themselves with if we visit). I ahve offered my brother to stay in my house and to take her here but he won't as we don't live as close to the town.
My mum has potty trained her 3 times, each time her mother and my brother pu her back into nappies as she has 1 accident and they give up. My brother will bring her up during the summer and then convince my mum to take her for a whole week.
My sister who is 25 just moved back home. She has an inoperable brain tumour and has just had part of it removed and needs radiotherapy for the rest, she is very ill at the moment but my brother doesn't care and I need to go and help my mum with my sister to help get her up and showered in the morning which means bringing my children which means my niece screaming the place down.
Have any other grandparents been in the same situation where they've had to tell there grown up child, to grow up and take responsibility for their child without it causing grief and a big argument. Is there anything I can do to help?
When I do go over I take over her house work and cooking but as soon as she sits down my niece is on top of her and then my children are looking for the same so it is easier to stay away.
I got her a cleaner for a day after my brother left a few weeks ago so she could have a rest, but I don't want to see her getting exhausted each time he comes up and to actually get to enjoy time with my niece, not be a drain on her.
iMammy Tue 06-Mar-12 17:12:10
Mishap Tue 06-Mar-12 17:26:59
jack Tue 06-Mar-12 17:29:11
Ariadne Tue 06-Mar-12 18:44:25
wotsamashedupjingl Tue 06-Mar-12 19:18:19
harrigran Tue 06-Mar-12 21:09:27
iMammy Wed 07-Mar-12 17:26:20
harrigran Wed 07-Mar-12 17:41:43
granbunny Mon 02-Apr-12 06:32:19
wotsamashedupjingl Mon 02-Apr-12 18:22:01
jeni Mon 02-Apr-12 18:41:42
wotsamashedupjingl Mon 02-Apr-12 18:44:24
gracesmum Mon 02-Apr-12 18:46:50