CONTROLLING PARTNER

There's a book which I recently bought called The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans which I can't recommend highly enough. It goes into exactly the things mentioned in this thread, with explanations as to why some people behave in this way and methods of stopping the abuse if possible. Also says if you feel you are in physical danger you should leave immediately.

The book is positive and supportive and it might help just having it there to refer to.

I hate this kind of man, a good book for every girl to read is 'The Charm Syndrome' by Sandra Horley.

JAP I along with others have great sympathy with you and your daughter and any family, as with other posters, our daughter has been through very similar thing, we could write a book between us all couldn't we girls!!!!

I like O/P think it would be a good idea to maybe try and get your daughter to come to you for a "little visit " if that is possible, and for her to just bring any little things that may be personal (most things toys/clothes etc) can be replaced in time. We as mums are well aware or of the "Mr Nice Guy" syndrome! and CANNOT!! be fooled.
It is just getting your daughter to decide to make the move and go for it.
It took my daughter many many yrs of leaving. going back. leaving having him back etc etc . she has now moved on a little, not much but a little, she still has to see G/S dad ( the *******) as we know him!! as G/S things the sun shines out of his aris!!!
hope your daughter makes the brave decision , good luck , keep us posted .

I wish we could hear more from men who hate this type of behaviour from violent men. I'd really like to know what men do to challenge abusive behaviour when they become aware a relative or one of their mates is doing it to a female they know about. If they are challenging it, and not just complaining about it, they're keeping it pretty quiet! One would think that men could help to regulate the abusive men they know. Women aren't asking for protection - just some flippin' support!

Do what we did - we went and got our daughter and baby grandson and brought them home to us ( we feared for her life ). Next my (ex prop forward) husband gave him a fortnight to leave the house which belonged to our daughter . On the appointed day we had new doors fitted to the front and back and he was evicted. Then one of her best friends moved in with her to make sure they were both safe. As with all bullies he was a coward and did not argue with my husband. It had a happy ending - she is very happily married to a gentle caring man and she has blossomed.

when how right you are about other men in the family challenging the behaviour of bullies,when DD had this problem we had to wait until she made the decision to end the relationship as he had ground her down so much she could not make a decision,after he was put out by the Police and after a fortnight of abusive threats her two brothers made it their business to see him and had a few quiet words with him (nothing violent as they had their careers to think of) but it did the trick and he now keeps out of the way even though he still lives in the same town.Something tells me though that he will not let it rest though and I am still on my guard when ever I have the children with me.

I agree with philly- see my post below. The time comes when you really just have to act.