Living the dream

hi greatnan thats brilliant, I wish I didnt feel so responsible, I feel that if I had tried harder my children could be doing better now. but thats just the way I am I am not sure that I will ever change, but thanks for that info

If I was going to live the DREAM , I would have a time share in Florida , not the responsibility of owning .

As of course the time will come when we can"t drive round the USA , but wouyld still like to go there ., and of course it is not so far for kids to travel .

One never knows how it is going to pan out .

Cheelu - I am concerned about my daughters' well-being but I don't feel responsible for it - they are both grandmothers themselves and have made their own decisions for many years.

PS Its refreshing to get a Grandad's take on things

Oh Banjo men are so lucky that they can think that way--women find it so hard to let go of their children, it really is a wrench and a worry, you see women will always feel responsible for the well being of their children no matter what age they are,, and saying they have made their decisions and its ok to leave them to it now is for a women, a very brave statement. But that does not mean that I don't agree with you because as it happens I absolutely agree with you its just hard actually doing it. You are also right in saying its not luck that you live in France, you have made it happen and good for you..

Me too, especially the needing to get somewhere but not being able to - sometimes I have to find my baby, who is tiny and I can't remember where I left her but I keep getting sidetracked.....mind you, at least that's one dream that isn't likely to come true!

absent I share your dreams, at least very similar ones! I wake crying some days and I don't want to live them either.

My dreams are full of running away from some terror, swimming across tidal rivers, climbing barbed wire fences, running through forests and desperately needing to be somewhere that I do not have the time to get to. Or they are full of frustration – a bunch of burglars in the house but every time I try to ring the police, I get the Chinese takeaway. I dream I am sitting in the back of a parked car and the brake fails, so then I am trying to drive the damn thing through a series of hairpin bends while I am still sitting in the back seat.

I do not want my dreams to come true.

While DH and I haven't moved abroad, we did move 6months ago to"be beside the sea", we absolutely love living across the road from the beach, lots of lovely walks on a very flat miles long beach, but.. we have a "friend" who thinks we are mad to be living in a 1st floor flat (the view is to die for!) she is extremely negative about all the steps, what if we can't manage them in the future, what if we become ill, and so it goes on, I think we live for the moment, we look on the steps as excercise, and if we ever get to the stage we "can't manage" then we deal with it!!
It is the best thing we have done, we worked hard for it and our children are all for our new way of life, the GC, love the fact Nana and Grampa live across the road from the beach.
I say go for it, if you want to live the dream, we are!!!

You have it now, alison. Consider it imported! I would.

'outwith' I wish we had this word in England, it is so useful. Bags

absent
Actually, the 'cabins' are just demountable cottages, which come complete with a shower room and kitchen. If my daughter and SIL move house, we can either sell my cabin as part of her property, or just hire a specialist firm to move it to the new site!
(But since losing weight I certainly look more gnome-like)

I have lived in France for twelve years. Two of these on my own since my husband died. We came to look what was on offer in rural SW France and liked what we saw. Part of the reason for moving here was economic - selling an expensive house in the Uk for one half the price here and investing the money for my widowhood. My husband was older than me.

The thought of moving back to Britain never entered my head when I became a widow. Though I have to admit that the fact that DS1 moved nearby seven years ago helps.

I lived in a beautiful village in mid-Wales before coming here but I much prefer walking in this countryside because of the wild flowers, butterflies and lack of people. Walking and reading are my main activities.

Three times a year I go back to Wales to see my son and his family and each time although I have loved every minute spent with DS3 DiL and GD I feel so thrilled to return to this little bit of France.

Greatnan You make your plans to live in NZ sound as if you are some kind of living garden gnome.

jeni - there is a flat for sale on the ground floor of my building! (But I think the Winters might be a tad cold for you.)

You are right, Mamie - I know from my expat forums that many have to return to the UK because of unemployment, family breakdown, illness - or just plain homesickness. I can't imagine how anybody could live here without at least a basic knowledge of French. Some people come out to enjoy the rural lifestyle and then find they miss all the social activities which you mention. There is just as much crime in France too - but people try to compare inner cities in the UK with isolated country villages in France, where crime is obviously lower.
None of these problems have arisen for me and I would happily live in my little flat for the rest of my life, but I will have to be realistic. I couldn't live here if I were not able to drive, for example. Fortunately, my daughter has given me a 'get out of jail' card by inviting me to live in her garden in NZ. As she lives in a beautiful part of South Island, with both beach and mountains easily accessible, it won't be much of a sacrifice - and she is a brilliant cook!

I don't see it as "living the dream" really. I love France, our home, our garden, the countryside, my work as a member of the local council, our French friends and neighbours (I have a English friends, but on the whole don't see much of other ex-pats, mostly because the majority of them are not people with whom I have much in common). I miss a lot of things about the UK, shopping (including food shopping) going out for coffee, friends, ballet, concerts, theatre within easy reach and being in the same country as my daughter and her family. My son is in Spain, so that is a bit easier, but not much. I see and hear of quite a lot of ex-pat misery around, poverty, divorce, boredom, too much alcohol and people who haven't learnt the language who are unable to cope with separation, illness and bereavement.
It isn't a dream, just life really, good things and bad.

Do you ever sleep, Bags?
I quite agree - I was lucky to be able to go back into higher education when not only was tuition free but I got a 'married woman's grant of £300 a year, which paid for the girls' nursery fees. It must be much harder now.
I know I am lucky to enjoy such good health as well.
I don't take anything for granted - I thought all was right with my family until a year ago.

Nice to read about everyone's dreams coming true

I do think luck, or good fortune, comes into it a little bit though. Some people work very hard all their lives and still don't manage to get what they want. I think we should be grateful for the 'good luck' of intelligence and a good education if we have it, good health, not too many misfortunes outwith our control (earthquakes, tsunamis, war), and living, by a chance of birth, in a developed country. There must be millions and millions of people in the world who work very hard and never get to live the dream, so yes, those of us who can should accept that we are lucky to be able to.

We used to live in Weston-super-Mare and used to travel down to Cornwall to visit all our family.

It always made us sad to leave, so one day we decided to sell our house, leave our two very good jobs and move back home to Cornwall.

That was 16 years ago, and I still feel so lucky to live here.

indeed Flickety.. my SiL was looking at our garden and said 'Why haven't I got a garden like yours' I pointed out it had taken until our house move last year to achieve..and I am semi retired and in my 60s!! He works very hard so he will 'make his own luck' and I am sure it won't take him as long as me to get there!!

Isnt it strange how if any part of your life goes well other people always attribute it to luck. We now live in the old timber-framed house we have wanted to own ever since we got married in our mid-20s and we are often told how 'lucky' we are . My response is always that it took us 30 years of hard work to achieve it.

We did it the other way..moved to be nearer to our DDs and GCs! But it is what we all wanted. Although DH thinks he has moved to the other side of the world now we do not have a London post code!! We are only 35 minutes from our old home!

One man's meat......

I suppose it is possible that I will become less independent in the distant future, which is why my daughter is so keen to get me over to New Zealand. I am happy with the French health system so far, but then I only see my doctor every six months to get my prescription for Ramipril.
They do send for me to have a mammagram every two years and I get offered a free flu jab every winter.
When my daughter was taken ill when visiting me the French paramedics were wonderful and she was airlifted to hospital. The only thing I find odd here is that you can go to any doctor(although it saves you €1 on your prescription if you register with one). There doesn't seem to be any central record of your treatments. When I left one department, I asked my doctor for my records and she just gave me a list of the prescriptions I had had.

I think it very easy to interpret p[osts , there are "vibes " longer I do this more I get it