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Gift from employer

(71 Posts)
Ceesnan Wed 12-Sep-12 13:08:49

DD has just come for a visit after working with her boss in Brussels for a week. She is his P.A. and he is a City banker. She is slightly concerned as just as she was leaving work last night he gave her a parcel saying "Just to say thanks for all your hard work". When she opened it at home she found a beautiful sapphire and diamond pendant (I've seen it and it really is stunning). However, she feels, and I agree with her, that to accept it would be wrong. She already gets very well paid for doing her job, and likes her boss very much. Any suggestions on how to return it without causing offence?

JO4 Wed 12-Sep-12 13:25:33

Don't return it!

Movedalot Wed 12-Sep-12 13:27:56

He may feel insulted if she returns it.

JO4 Wed 12-Sep-12 13:31:52

I've still got a lovely pearl necklace my employer gave me, minus one of the strings where DD1 got her year old hands on it! (years ago now of course).

Ella46 Wed 12-Sep-12 13:32:20

I think it depends on what sort of man he is, if he's young single man or an older married man, or a kindly granddad type etc.

It seems a bit OTT unless he is very wealthy and a really lovely person!???

JO4 Wed 12-Sep-12 13:33:38

She has come back from the trip. I'd be more worried if it was at the start of it..............

MiceElf Wed 12-Sep-12 13:34:57

I think that however expensive it was, it's probably just a drop in the ocean if he's a city banker. Much like a bottle of fizz and some flowers would be for most. So I think she should keep it, unless of course she thinks he has an ulterior motive. But she is surely far too experienced and sensible not to have sussed out if that is the case. Just say thank you nicely, and enjoy it!

Anagram Wed 12-Sep-12 13:40:42

I agree with everyone else! I think it would cause bad feeling between them if she returned it - he might think she was questioning his motives and be very offended. As MiceElf says, it probably wasn't that expensive, to him!

glammanana Wed 12-Sep-12 13:54:41

I also think it would maybe cause bad feeling if your DD returned it,maybe it is his way of saying thank you for going that bit further and being a big help to him and the business when he was away,would anyone think it returnable if your DD's boss was a lady ? Keep it and enjoy the appreciation.

Marelli Wed 12-Sep-12 14:03:29

Definitely keep it. He obviously thinks she deserves it, and to hand it back would maybe hurt his feelings or make him feel a bit silly for giving it to her.

soop Wed 12-Sep-12 14:43:40

Keep it and enjoy it. Simples! wink

medic Wed 12-Sep-12 14:48:14

Isn't there a saying " Beware greeks bearing gifts"? I was once given an expensive piece of jewellery by my boss and I returned it saying that my husband was not happy for me to receive it. Actually - I did not show it to him as he would have been very upset to think another man appreciated me.

absentgrana Wed 12-Sep-12 14:55:20

I was brought up to believe that you never accepted jewellery as a gift from a man who wasn't related, engaged or married to you. By jewellery I don't mean a little silver bangle but something like a sapphire and diamond pendant. I would give it back and try not to offend the giver, but he should have had more sense and discretion in the first place.

Movedalot Wed 12-Sep-12 15:11:42

It is quite possible that he got his wife to buy it for her! I had a boss whose wife chose presents for me and I chose them for her. Presumably your DD knows him well enough to know if he is likely to have an ulterior motive.

Has she ever had to buy gifts from him to other people? If so she probably knows how generous he usually is.

soop Wed 12-Sep-12 15:13:41

Ana has a point. If her boss had been a man of modest means, he'd have thanked her with flowers or a box of chocs. Seems that he has no need to watch the pennies and wished to show his gratitude accordingly.

JO4 Wed 12-Sep-12 15:34:45

Yes. I think his wife probably bought it. It is simply a thank you for a job well done.

We don't live in Victorian times. smile

JO4 Wed 12-Sep-12 15:38:10

They don't have to be that expensive actually.

and what's more, I want one!

Ella46 Wed 12-Sep-12 15:39:34

Like I said,it depends on the man and the circumstances.

harrigran Wed 12-Sep-12 15:50:46

Asked DH what he thought, in his company employees were not allowed to accept gifts. I used to buy gifts for his PA at Christmas, jewellery and personal items were a big no,no. I would be concerned there was a hidden agenda with such an expensive item.

vampirequeen Wed 12-Sep-12 15:51:29

Keep it. It's a thank you gift. She's obviously done a good job and he wants to show her how much he appreciates it. If he gave her a cash bonus then the tax man would take a cut.

absentgrana Wed 12-Sep-12 15:52:47

JO4 "We don't live in Victorian times. How old do you think I am?

absentgrana Wed 12-Sep-12 15:54:58

JO4 Ceesnan said the pendant was stunning – not something that looks and is cheap. grin

Why have so many people assumed that the boss is a married man?

JO4 Wed 12-Sep-12 16:01:04

Ok Ok absent! hmm

this one then?

JO4 Wed 12-Sep-12 16:01:24

I definitely want that.

JO4 Wed 12-Sep-12 16:01:33