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Gift from employer

(72 Posts)
Ceesnan Wed 12-Sep-12 13:08:49

DD has just come for a visit after working with her boss in Brussels for a week. She is his P.A. and he is a City banker. She is slightly concerned as just as she was leaving work last night he gave her a parcel saying "Just to say thanks for all your hard work". When she opened it at home she found a beautiful sapphire and diamond pendant (I've seen it and it really is stunning). However, she feels, and I agree with her, that to accept it would be wrong. She already gets very well paid for doing her job, and likes her boss very much. Any suggestions on how to return it without causing offence?

nightowl Wed 26-Sep-12 14:09:28

It's the same rule working in the public sector harrigran - not that social workers receive many gifts, well not working in child protection anyway! We are more likely to have something unpleasant thrown at us as we beat a hasty retreat out of the gate!
But I agree that this has an unpleasant feeling to me - maybe I'm old fashioned, or cynical or something but it has a feeling of being a beautiful gift with a deeply sexist, patronising and paternalistic undertone. I agree with JessM on this one.

whenim64 Wed 26-Sep-12 14:25:22

We had a code of conduct that permitted cards or modest boxes of chocolates or flowers from clients and their families, and there was no such thing as a gift from our employer, only leaving presents from probation bosses and colleagues. We had annual awards in recognition of work done above and beyond the call of duty, and often just got a certificate or something likes a pen holder or desk calendar.

My sister was a solicitor's treasurer, and whenever she saved the company significant amounts of money, she would receive expensive presents such as a laptop, tickets for London theatres and hotel accommodation for her and her husband, and a carriage clock. Her employer's wife organised all staff gifts.

Ceesnan Wed 26-Sep-12 16:55:03

Hello. Just a quick update. After a lot of thought DD returned the pendant, saying that she felt uncomfortable accepting such a generous gift. She said her boss was very understanding. Thanksgiving again for all your comments.

Ceesnan Wed 26-Sep-12 16:56:14

My iPad has a mind of its own. That should have just been thanks.

JessM Wed 26-Sep-12 20:06:35

Oh right ceesnan sensible woman - that was her initial gut feeling wasnt it.

Yes well when solicitors well known for paying their "treasures" peanuts... my late ex MIL used to do ALL the conveyancing at the firm and teach juniors how it was supposed to be done, all for a very low clerical wage. Hope your sister also got paid properly for the good work she did.

gramps Wed 26-Sep-12 23:43:57

These answers just show the wide diversity of opinion of accepting a gift (of unknown value), given, in presumably good faith, assisted by the Gentlemans wife, in appreciation of a job well done.

It all seems to have been done openly, so I don't see the problem - (Although I would still be awarefull for a change in attitude, as previously mentioned!)

Is "awarefull" a proper word or one I've fabricated?

soop Thu 27-Sep-12 16:59:26

gramps Awarefull, is a descriptive word. I like it a lot. smile

JessM Thu 27-Sep-12 17:32:45

Yes I like awarefull too. SO much more expressive than "conscious of" or something bland like that.

gramps Thu 27-Sep-12 22:43:09

Thank you soop flowers and flowers Jess for your assurance re. the unusual word!

Perhaps I'll find another one someday!

soop Fri 28-Sep-12 14:46:44

Work on it, Gramps...anything to keep you out of mischief! grin

gramps Fri 28-Sep-12 22:39:39

Mischief dear soop - what the hell do you mean? - moir? blush

soop Sat 29-Sep-12 14:19:07

gramps my lovely impish friend, you strike me as being a rascal. I like rascals...grin

gramps Sat 29-Sep-12 15:35:48

Thank you dear soop. Do I now have street cred?

soop where in London do you live? I only ask as you seem like a "cockney" type too!

I seem to attract younger girls and older Ladies. I have several young Lady admirers at School, where I help out half day a week. 4-5 yr. olds!!

It can't be my hair 'cos there's so little of it! smile

soop Sat 29-Sep-12 17:25:35

lovely gramps, I live on the beautiful, remote, west coast of bonnie Scotland. Not so far from where Paul Mac had a farm [very close to Campbeltown.] I was born and bred in the once famous boot and shoe making town of Northampton. smile

gramps Sat 29-Sep-12 22:15:13

Two of my sisters live in Wellingborough.
We were there several weeks ago.

My SIL lives in Drumnadrochit , Inverness.
They are on a mountain ,overlooking Loch Ness.
The Highlands of Scotland are beautiful!
Lucky you soop!

soop Sun 30-Sep-12 11:52:53

Gramps Love Drumnadrochit. Even the name, when spoken by a native Scot, sounds almost exotic.
My late father lived near Wellingborough. Do you know Sudborough? A very pretty, pleasant village.

gramps Sun 30-Sep-12 22:54:31

Hi soop,
Sorry, but I don't know Sudborough but my sister may do.

As you may know, I write a lot of poetry. Some are more descriptive of a place or situation. These I call "word pictures".

I wrote one while at Drumnadrochit about that area, and the Great Glen Fault.

Would you like to see it? I'm not sure how to send it though.
Should it be on this page, elswhere, or a PM?

soop Mon 01-Oct-12 12:34:48

gramps Your word picture would be perfect on this thread. smile

gramps Mon 01-Oct-12 22:49:26

Dear soop, just for you - one of my word pictures. Hope you like it!

THE GREAT GLEN FAULT

The hills are bathed in light of varying shades
With mist and rain and sunlight on the hill.
Oft the wind is blowing hard, and then sometimes is very still
The staggered shapes of green and mottled hue
Are strewn as cast by a giant’s random hand
This part of Highlands’ noble view is heritage to the glorious past of ancient Scottish land
The sun paints pictures of light and shade, as in an artist’s box
The landscape does not move, not so the brown and cunning fox!
He moves with stealth across the covered land
Seeking his next meal and stays away from man’s destroying hand!
Way far below, the shimmering waters of the loch, wherein hides a monster of fabled time
Seekers come from far and near to explore the cold depth, but find nothing upon the bed but shingle mud and slime
This rift of ancient time which runs for many a mile
Is nature’s painted canvas of pleasant contrasting style.
When rain clouds drift across the sky the hills are hid from view
And once again our vision dims; we can but only remember where they lie
Now the sky is dark with heavy cloud, so keenly sculptured, sharp edged, While, beneath - infinity is grey
The hills now black, with green foreground no longer light
But merging into background of ending day and coming night
At times the wind howls around this place whistling a mournful moan
The rain beats down upon the window panes. We are warm within our home.
The sun shines down again upon a changing scene
And across those mysterious hills are many shades of pleasant green
As a patchwork quilt, the hills take on yet another guise
Light is changing with glorious hue before our very eyes
From here we watch the changing scenes of colour in profusion
Nature’s works of art are shown to us; We see without confusion.

Vic Woolley  JUNE 2009

soop Tue 02-Oct-12 14:42:33

Lovely gramps

WONDERFUL! Your words paint the perfect picture. I shall print your poem and place it in my book of all-time favourites. thank you xxx

gramps Tue 02-Oct-12 18:11:38

Aawwhh, shucks!
Glad you like it soop!