i have not discussed this with anyone before but one family member was aware at the time.
i feel i need an unbiased view and decided that the gransnetters were the people to go to.
when i was married my husband had several affairs and produced a so with one of the girlfriends. we separated not long afterwards and as our own children were of an age where they understood what was happening, they were not told about the child.
i felt that they had enough trauma to deal with without being told ALL the details. when the divorce was finalised my ex husband rewrote his will, and i said that as he had another son our children would need to know. his response was very negative and he would not discuss it.
out of misplaced loyalty or i don't know what, i never mentioned it again. maybe i was wrong.
over the years i have struggled with that decision because rightly or wrongly i feel they have a right to know of their brother.
my dilemma is, should i tell them? (they are in their thirties), is it really fair given the possible fallout and is it my place?
i have felt really guilty even though it wasn't me who did the deed, but they have been deceived.
they both have a good relationship with their father and i don't want to destroy it.
i would really appreciate some honest opinions from you grans out there. thankyou
ellie50 Thu 27-Sep-12 18:04:55
whenim64 Thu 27-Sep-12 18:16:41
Greatnan Thu 27-Sep-12 18:16:50
soop Thu 27-Sep-12 18:17:08
annodomini Thu 27-Sep-12 18:21:56
Ana Thu 27-Sep-12 18:27:24
JessM Thu 27-Sep-12 18:29:23
johanna Thu 27-Sep-12 18:38:55
Bags Thu 27-Sep-12 18:41:49
JO4 Thu 27-Sep-12 19:01:38
Faye Thu 27-Sep-12 19:46:23
Ana Thu 27-Sep-12 20:00:12
Faye Thu 27-Sep-12 20:15:05
Faye Thu 27-Sep-12 20:18:28
Bags Thu 27-Sep-12 20:21:23
whenim64 Thu 27-Sep-12 20:22:23
Bags Thu 27-Sep-12 20:22:44
Ana Thu 27-Sep-12 20:55:53
Gagagran Thu 27-Sep-12 21:09:59
whenim64 Thu 27-Sep-12 21:18:43
specki4eyes Thu 27-Sep-12 22:45:05
ellie50 Fri 28-Sep-12 00:38:04
whenim64 Fri 28-Sep-12 01:00:14
Faye Fri 28-Sep-12 01:29:05
POGS Sun 30-Sep-12 12:36:24