Hitting a child. Can anyone here defend it?

Something my daughter did one day annoyed me; can't remember what it was but I hit her on the head; not hard. I never hit her again and never hit her brother. A friends mother smacked her once for misbehaving at her house; to say I was angry is a slight understatement..she had no idea what she had done wrong and couldn't understand why the mother had hit her. The only one of my daughters girlfriends who ever hit any of her friends was the one who was smacked at home; my daughter, even though she was young at the time said it was because her step father hit her. I have to say that I don't know if my parents ever smacked me or not; I'm certainly not aware of them doing so.

We had held out against guns, but someone gave DS1 a cowboy outfit for Christmas, complete with two six-shooters. I was thunderstruck when DS2, then aged 11 months, came crawling round the corner into the kitchen, waving a gun and shouting, 'nang, nang'! He certainly hasn't grown up in favour of guns - quite the reverse in his own family.

I am surprised at the number of people who have endured corporal punishment at school. When I was at school (way back in the dark ages) the boys were occasionally hit but never the girls. To be honest I can't remember anyone being outstandingly naughty at primary school - admittedly we got a bit bolshie later on. I seem to remember being smacked a lot by my mother. She wasn't very good with children which is probably why she didn't have anymore. My father never lifted a finger to me and very rarely even got cross.
By the way, one of my most precious toys was my Captain Cutlass flintlock pistol which I played with for years without turning into a mass murderer (so far

Like nanaej my children (apart from No.3 who was very easy to manage) had the occasional smack - I am not proud of this, but I am human. PMT, exhaustion etc. + extreme provocation. I brood about these occasions sometimes and once mentioned it to my DDs who said - "Oh, heavens Mum - we were asking for it!! We knew you loved us."

It is said that a punishment is more effective if it is closely related in time to the misdemeanour. I do think that some of these withdrawal of privileges etc punishments are unacceptabele - it just drags it all out, which is not good.

One of my DDs uses the tactic of taking her child out of the room and holding him still for 60 seconds. I can see what she is trying to do, but I think that holding your child should be a pleasure not a punishment. And as he gets bigger he will be able to fight her off and not co-operate.

All children are different and those parents who have never been pushed to the limit are indeed lucky - not all of us have been so blessed.

I, too, to my shame, used to give my two an occasional slap - very occasional, and under provocation - but still... The idea of laying a finger on anyone is an anathema to me - so how could I have slapped my own, darling children??? It's hard to understand now, but of course, it was very much the norm then. I have asked my children about it - they really can't recall any such incidents, but the thought of it still makes me cringe. And if anyone were to touch my grandchildren....

If a boy and girl are caught smoking or similar.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM GIVEN 6 STROKES OF THE CANE PUNISHMENT EACH???????????????????????

When DH and I were first married we converted our first house into two flats. We lived downstairs and a couple with a small child lived upstairs.

One day I could hear the mother shouting at the child which was obviously misbehaving, when everything went quiet. Next thing the mother was knocking on my door - she said in temper she had thrown the child onto the bed and frightened both of them. I brought her in, sat her down with a cup of tea and proceeded to play with the child and distract him until she had calmed down. It opened my eyes to what a tough job bringing up children can be!

I think abcde12345 is up to mischief.

I was that mother once Barrow - only once, but I am still ashamed.
You must have been a great support to her.

What does it solve hitting a child--absolutely nothing--What does it show hitting a child--it shows that its ok to use violence /your hands to solve a problem-- If you wish to discipline a child in the correct manner the best way is to have consequences for their actions Eg if you do that this will happen and the consequences will obviously vary, according to age group. I have worked with children for more than 15 years and they need and thrive on boundaries and consequences but what I have learn is that parents that hit their children often end up with aggressive un controllable children that think its ok to vent their frustrations in a violent manner. I think that if a parent resorts to smacking their child they themselves have lost control of the situation.

Merlot Its the username that does it! Watch out Billygoats.

There's a similar post on the 'What were you like at school' thread.

Don't get me started on Nuns. I have an old friend who still has the scars on her back; put there by a Nun.

I can remember my parents standing between the two beds in which my brother and I slept and arguing over which one of us was at fault and should be smacked! - prolonged the agony a bit!!

when DS was in a strop (age 5) MIL threw water over him.My DH was furious with her...thought it was humiliating...She used to say'never hit a child in anger'
I feel smacking cold bloodedly with forethought is much worse.

DD1 has often embarrassed me by saying that I kicked her downstairs.Iwas carrying baby and both DDs were sitting on stairs and wouldn't move so I gently pushed her with my toe ....no harm done ..what a horrible mummy!