Old girlfriends

This sounds like a novel I have just finished reading. Old girlfriend gets in touch and informs the man that he has a 16 year old daughter who wants to meet him. To shorten the story, ex had an incurable illness and wanted biological father to care for daughter.
I am always wary of phone calls out of the blue

j05 He is NOT a little boy he is a grown man !!

If there is a child involved, it could be that he/she has been asking questions, and the girlfriend wants to see how the land lies before she gives out any information. On the other hand, it may just be that she was feeling nostalgic and wanted to get in touch. Yes, please let us know how things go, Winefride.

I think young people do tend to maintain friendships with ex girlfriends and boyfriends these days. I often wonder how people from my past are and would love to ask how they were doing. Mind you, my husband meeting up with an ex fiance was a precursor to our eventual split. And women can be far more devious than men in matters of the heart. I guess he does need to be told. I seem to remember an ex girlfriend contacting my ex's parents when we were still just going out together and I think I felt a bit uncomfortable about it; not sure if he contacted her or not. Difficult.

I would tell my son in front of his wife. He should be told, but you can keep it light, such as 'guess who was trying to contact you.'

faye I was thinking that was the way to go about it too.

I agree Faye,and maybe she just wants to say "Glad you've made it home"

Ella46 If the ex-girlfriend from 15 years ago doesn't know his current telephone number, how would she know that he had been in Afghanistan and is now safely home?

I can't help thinking that if there was a child involved, the CSA would have made him aware of it long since.

FB?
I would be inclined to let sleeping dogs lie myself. Sometimes people start yearning for lost loves. If you passed the message on and exGF tried to rekindle the flame with your DS, where would that leave you with your DIL?
And as I always say - it is all too easy to end up back in bed with an ex.

absent there are lots of people that I know things about, without knowing their phone number.

Have you actually spoken to this lady or was it just a message?

I'd be inclined to give her a ring and say you have picked up the message and is there something in particular that she wants. See how your gut instinct goes and tell her you will chat with your son and see if he wants to make contact.

If your gut instinct is negative you could just stall a bit and take a long time to get in touch with son and let things die down. Or if your guts tell you it is all OK, you could speak to son.

The realities of marriage are very different from the fantasies of former loves and you do not want to stir anytning up that might potentially be destructive.

Personally I would be wary. She should have moved on in her life and leaving him to do the same.

I agree with most of the above, that your DS should know and be able to decide for himself. The rest is supposition and will only become clear if and when he makes contact, but it must be his decision.
Do please let us know the outcome of this

I am disturbed that so many grans think that they have some sort of right about what happens in their adult child's life. Pass the message on, let him decide what to do and how to to talk to his partner/or not about it.

Yes.

I agree with absent .

winefride give him her number and step back and let him decide if he wants to contact her, if it is a GC you will soon find out. But 15 yrs is a long time.

Yes, glass, unless as I suggested earlier, the child now wants to get in touch with his/her father and the girlfriend is trying to pave the way.