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being tired at 65 and watching 6mo old

(34 Posts)
cag Sat 08-Dec-12 19:18:22

im watching my 6mo old grandson 4days a week,and when he leaves i am exhausted..being always pretty active ,im surprised and upset about feeling this way..any ideas? cag

tanith Sat 08-Dec-12 19:41:32

Thats a lot of hours spent minding your grandson cag no wonder you are tired I'm sure I'd feel the same. I know I couldn't bring myself to commit to so many hours.. any chance you can cut the days down? I think as we age the mind may be willing but the body just wants to wind down a little bit and yes it is upsetting when you realise you just haven't got the get up and go that you used to have.. I'm sure there will be lots of other suggestions on how to cope as lots of our grans mind grandchildren.

YankeeGran Sat 08-Dec-12 19:46:55

I'M not surprised you feel as you do! Looking after children is exhausting for their parents so why shouldn't it be so for grandparents? Have you discussed this with baby's mother/father? Are there alternatives for another day or two each week? Could baby go to child care one day/week? You need to be honest and frank about what you can do, otherwise the situation will lead to resentment, which is not a healthy atmosphere for anyone involved.
When I first started looking after my grandson, I had forgotten about the unrelentingness of it all. Love them to bits but as the cliche goes, parents are young for a reason!

crimson Sat 08-Dec-12 19:49:55

cag; there are several threads on this subject..when I have time I'll try to bump them up for you. I found at 60 I struggled looking after my grandson for just a few hours twice a week; at 55 I coped quite well, but I think I'll really struggle when I'm 65. Try not to be comes as such a shock to realise how tired we get doing things we did years ago sad. You're not alone!

glammanana Sat 08-Dec-12 19:56:47

cag I would be tired looking after a 6mth old 4 days a week and I class myself as rather fit and active,I do think what is tiring is the fact that you cannot let yourself relax you have to be switched on all day as the responsability is enormous.
Is it essential that you do 4 days can you not do a day on and then day off,maybe you should have a chat with your son/daughter about the time you are putting in,you do need your own time to do what you enjoy and relax a wee bit.

whenim64 Sat 08-Dec-12 20:15:10

Some people have the energy and stamina for it, but I don't. I would be equally exhausted. My sister fosters babies and she is 62 now, looking after a 7 month old. Fortunately this baby sleeps through. Also, her husband is at home all day now he's retired, so she can take a break every now and then. She will retire as soon as this baby is in a permanent family, though.

FlicketyB Sat 08-Dec-12 20:32:55

Cag, if you keep pushing yourself when you find it so tiring, you will end up becoming ill or too exhausted to look after him at all, which will cause major problems for the babies parents. Discuss this with them and find a way of caring for fewer days rather than them suddenly finding you too ill to mind for any.

annodomini Sat 08-Dec-12 20:53:11

You risk a complete collapse if you go on like this, Cag. Then where will your family be? Better cut down your caring time while you can rather than have to give up altogether.

Faye Sat 08-Dec-12 22:55:18

A friend of mine had her first child at 17, her second at 19. When she was thirty she had a third child and commented on how she noticed being so much more tired with her third baby. Babies are very cute but tiring and four days a week for a 65 year old is a big ask. I have no problems babysitting toddlers and children just not babies.

cag Mon 10-Dec-12 23:21:37

thanks, but right now is no else, sometimes my husband is you know what grandfaters 68 yrs old do? not much///cag

CHEELU Wed 19-Dec-12 14:53:21

Hi cag, when I am tired and need to take care of my grandson I usually do something with him that involves sitting down, like drawing, painting or a board game, I also take him to The Library because that's quite slow and relaxing, also reading a book and if really tired I do put on Children's TV for an hour. I was also surprised that I can get tired but we have done it all already and this is second time around for it is to be a accepted....

CHEELU Wed 19-Dec-12 14:56:57

sorry cag did not realise he was only six months old--A nice slow walk in the park used to help me because baby calm and pressure of entertaining him is off..

petra Wed 19-Dec-12 15:47:45

I find it not so much the physicle but the mental exhaustion. When my DD was in her room I wasn't up and down the stairs every 10 mins to see how she was; but I find myself worried all the time that she is ok when not in my sight.
Also, the continuous talking wears me out.

hummingbird Wed 19-Dec-12 16:20:22

I look after my grandson, aged 3, one day a week. This is lovely, we get to do nice things together, and I feel very privileged to be sharing his life in this way. I used to look after his sister too, until she started school. However, I do find it quite exhausting. I am fit and active, but find looking after little ones quite a strain. I don't think I could, or would want to do any more than this, and have been quite clear with my son and dil that I cannot be the sole provider of child care in the holidays. I think it is important that you have an honest discussion with them. Perhaps you could put a time limit on it, say, six months, to give them time to make alternative arrangements. Good luck, Cag flowers

Nonu Wed 19-Dec-12 17:04:34

I"ve always said , childcare is a young womans game .

We might feel fit as a fiddle , but sometimes , the mind is willing but the flesh is weak .

Not our fault at all , just Anno Domini .

smile smile

nanapug Wed 19-Dec-12 17:57:20

There is a reason that the ability to have children stops at a certain age!

annodomini Wed 19-Dec-12 18:09:23

Don't blame me, nonu. grin

granjura Wed 19-Dec-12 18:55:16

cag- you really have to discuss this with them openly and frankly. As a matter of interest, did you volunteer to look after him (mis-judging how tiring it would be) or where you asked/expected to do so? May have a bearing on how you tackle this.

Nanado Thu 20-Dec-12 09:22:54

cag I'm the same age as you and regularly look after my grandchildren. Yesterday I had all four ranging in age from 18 months to 6 tears, plus MrDog who makes a 5th child.

Faye is right, babies are hard. I've had them since they were babies and the 18 month old is the hardest. It does get easier as they get older, are potty trained, can be reasoned with, feed themselves, learn to play independently, etc.

But what I found hardest was the isolation at first. I had recently moved 200 miles and was unfamiliar with the area and had no friends close by. I decided I had to be proactive and find places with other people and other children; play groups, soft play centres, parks, playgrounds and so on. Or i just take thrm with me shopping or to garden centres, etc. It's much more tiring to stay at home. I either bundle them into the car or drag out the buggies.

dorsetpennt Thu 20-Dec-12 09:33:48

I regularly go up to stay with my son and his wife. He is a stay-at-home-work-from-home daddy. So I go to give him some respite and also its a chance for him to work uninterrupted. The two little girls are 3 and 1 and wellbehaved delightful children, the 3 year old goes to nursery 4 mornings a week. I usually stay from 4 days to a week depending. By the time I get home I'm totally exhausted and I usually have a cold courtesy of the 3 yer old. I've had a wonderful time but could I do 4 days a week on a permanent basis? At 68 years old no I couldn't. By this age we all have various aches and pains and if we are unlucky other health issues.
I think its asking a lot cag and you should discuss it with your daughter otherwise you are going to get ill.

Nonu Thu 20-Dec-12 17:56:41

ANNO . CSL . lots of [fgrins] to you

Speldnan Thu 20-Dec-12 18:11:37

Very interesting this as I am about to embark on caring for my 1 year old GS from January. I shall mind him in his house for 2 days per week. I did one day yesterday and it certainly is tiring and isolating just as others have said and strangely different from when you have your own children. I found it tiring looking after my own children but you are compelled to do it when they are your own and it just feels so different when you are a grandparent.
I adore my grandson and enjoy being with him but I know I will get tired-I also find it can be boring at that age when they can't talk to you yet (dare I say this?) as you can't really get on with anything much. I am apprehensive about how it will go but since I know it will be temporary, a year or two at the most, I feel it will be worthwhile in order to help my daughter and also to be an important part of my GS's life.
Will report back after a few months!

Nonu Thu 20-Dec-12 18:33:55

It will be okay speldnan !

shysal Thu 20-Dec-12 19:03:49

I too find childcare, although only occasional, tiring at 66. If you think you would find it difficult to explain, perhaps you could show them this discussion to let them know that this is normal. Our offspring seem to expect us to always be the same, and the gradual aging goes unnoticed, unless pointed out.
I hope you find a solution, cag, your health is important. flowers

misunderstood Thu 20-Dec-12 20:03:37

Has anyone been watching Last Tango in Halifax? Watched the final 2 episodes last night and spent nearly all of the programme with tears in my eyes. When they were jiving in the house it just reminded me of me and my hubby as this is what we do when there is nothing on the tv and we put the music on and chat. Also the part when she fell out with her daughter and how stubbern she was, that was also me and my daughter on occasions when we don't agree. I come from around these parts and as I know its Sally Wainwrights mums story I knew he wouldn't die but still it was a lovely ending and a brilliant series.