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Knowing all you know now, what would you have done differently in your life.

(46 Posts)
cheelu Thu 27-Dec-12 18:29:05

Was just thinking about decisions I have made in my life, and looking back I am not sure and can not decide what I would have done differently, what about you folks?....

Ana Thu 27-Dec-12 18:30:32

There are many things I would have done differently, but I don't like dwelling on them - that way madness lies! wink

Grannyknot Thu 27-Dec-12 18:47:51

I'm with Ana here, and also - I would need to write an essay, or a book. The one thing I always console myself with, is that all I've done and all the decisions I made, have contributed to maing me the well rounded (literally and figuratively) person I am today grin

Grannyknot Thu 27-Dec-12 18:48:22

... that shd be making not maing (of course).

granjura Thu 27-Dec-12 19:19:53

I suppose I am very lucky - but perhaps not that much, really.
Perhaps I would have not worried so much about things that didn't matter at all when the kids were little, like housework, etc- duh. Or about the odd extra kilo here or there.

carol123 Thu 27-Dec-12 19:21:35

Well I could say that I wouldnt have married twice but then I wouldnt have had my 3 kids and 2 grandkids so I dont wish that.
Perhaps I could say that I wish I could have seen through people easier and not just taken them at face value as a few people have turned out to be not as nice as I thought.
I also wish I had travelled the world a bit more when I was younger but didnt really have that much confidence until I was in my 50s. And I have now learned to say no to people which is something I could have done differently years ago - and then would not have suffered with stress due to the demands I agreed to.IYSWIM
On the whole though I have had a very good life and dont really have many regrets.

Anne58 Thu 27-Dec-12 19:29:32

I very much agree with Ana. I think that sometimes we just have to accept the way that things turn out. I will however say that meeting Mr P, (my second husband) felt like coming home, i.e. that he was the person I was always meant to be with. On the other hand, without my first husband, I would never have had my 2 darling sons.

cheelu Thu 27-Dec-12 19:33:41

I really loved reading these posts they are very interesting, more please more!!

Ella46 Thu 27-Dec-12 19:39:44

Despite everything, (!!! OMG) I don't regret anything, as I did what I thought was right at the time!
Hindsight is a wonderful thing grin

kittylester Thu 27-Dec-12 19:54:29

Exactly Ella, I think we do the best we can when we can! smile

cheelu Thu 27-Dec-12 20:04:04

I feel that I went off destiny's track . One decision I made changed the whole course of my life and someone said its no use dwelling on it and that is very true but if effects your every day then its hard not to dwell on it.

celebgran Thu 27-Dec-12 20:08:07

I think I may have gone back to college and pursued a career, I did start an Access course, but always put kids first, and look how my daugther has betrayed me!!

However I expect I would have still wanted to do my very best for her, but the pain she has put me through I do sometimes wish had never had her, which sounds awful I know, but so is the pain!!

I also married my husband on rebound, and we have been happy on and off for 35 years, is good marriage in lots ways but we do row a lot and and sometimes it really gets me down.
gosh arent i gloomy at moment!!??

glassortwo Thu 27-Dec-12 20:10:53

My life is what it is and if I have made the wrong decisions too late to have regrets now, but saying that don't think I would change anything, maybe an odd tweak here and there. grin

cheelu Thu 27-Dec-12 20:26:30

Hello celebgran, I don't know what your daughter has done but IMHO I think you possibly might not truly regret having her but are upset that you sacrificed so much for her and she maybe does not appreciate it. But that's children for you, its probably not done out of malice. IMHO and if you don't mind me saying, you say you married on rebound and that may have been why you married initially, but if you did not go on to love him in some way do you think it could have lasted 35 years. Its really horrible having such big regrets isnt it mine is quite big too and does effect my every day and has effected my whole life. We have to find a way to deal with it in a good way!!

Faye Thu 27-Dec-12 20:37:10

I have a few regrets, one being I would have seen my mother but kept right away from the rest of my family.

Grannyeggs Thu 27-Dec-12 20:46:30

My life is just my life and things I have done wrongly or rightly have formed it. I have made a lot of mistakes but it's how you deal with them that counts. You just have to hope that you have learned some lessons along the way. As my old Father used to say "we are where we are". smile

annodomini Thu 27-Dec-12 20:47:50

Regrets are pointless - you can only go forward. I do wish I had exploited my ability to learn languages, but if I had, I might not have gone to Africa to teach English and missed out on the best five years of my life; I might not have met my (now ex) husband and might not have had the best sons I could have hoped for. Non, je ne regrette rien!

petallus Thu 27-Dec-12 21:01:12

I wouldn't do anything differently.

Too risky.

petallus Thu 27-Dec-12 21:03:33

Having read a bit more of this thread, I've just thought of something.

When my father was dying in hospital I wish I hadn't taken notice of the nurse who said she would contact me if anything changed and gone home to get some sleep.

Hunt Thu 27-Dec-12 23:28:57

I do sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had gone to RADA as my headmaster suggested. I told him it was too risky a profession. Maybe I would have become a Dame-or maybe not. Ah well!

Joan Fri 28-Dec-12 08:32:54

I would have defied my parents and found a way of staying on at school and doing my A levels. I left after getting 8 good A levels because my parents refused to 'put up with me' at school any more. Mind you, I have no more idea now how I could have done this, than I had then.

But I would have left the civil service job I got much earlier than the 3 years I put up with, and gone as an au pair at 16 instead of 19, to improve my foreign languages, and got my A levels externally. As it was, I did get German A level with no tuition whatsoever - I just got the syllabus and read the books.

But I took the easy way.

Then I got married.

Nanado Fri 28-Dec-12 08:38:22

I'm guessing you mean 8 good 'O' levels joan.

Joan Fri 28-Dec-12 10:29:52

Yes - it's a bugger the way we can't edit, isn't it?

Nanado Fri 28-Dec-12 10:34:40

I kept getting things confused before Christmas joan and even though I previewed them I didn't spot my mistakes until they were posted! Hopefully with all the pressures off now I can be on more of an even keel smile

cheelu Fri 28-Dec-12 11:22:32

Brilliant stories, It seems that most people have a few regrets but someone said its not what regrets you have, its how you handle them that matters and that is very true. We do have regrets but we are still alive and kicking to tell the tale....