Not sure how I feel.

Rocknanny I was 52 when my first grandchild a girl arrived, a GS arrived a year later, then two years later three more grandchildren arrived, two boys and a girl born 17 days apart (intersting how many people have grandchildren born so close together) and last November another granddaughter. Someone once said 'they love their children but are in love with their grandchildren,' very true for me.

Eek! I just realised I overlooked you Glassortwo. Sorry about that! Your response was much appreciated and you're right, my DD is very lucky .

Faye, how lovely for you! You know, I can't imagine loving anyone more than my daughter though.

Oh rock you'll soon find out you can . My grandchildren are the centre of my little universe.

Faye is right. When my DD was pregnant with the first GD I was worried
as it brought back memories of post natal depression and can remember being
in mothercare and having to just get out of there quickly.
When she was born it was so wonderful and I can honestly say she is the light of my life.
It is because of the GD's that I keep trying to keep the peace with my daughter. Not because I think she would stop us seeing them if we permanantly fell out, but because they bring so much joy to me and GC
do need GP. Some would say its the other way round which is probably right!!

I think our hormones do kick in when our daughters are pregnant [or, at least the memory of them]. I wonder if the memory of your post natal depression has overshadowed your happiness? Also, the fact that there was a health concern over the pregnancy means that you wouldn't let your feelings get too strong in case something awful happened. I found that all my emotions with the first grandchild were centered round my daughter; her health, her wellbeing; her happiness and the new baby was second to all that [until he was born, that is]. Your relationship with your daughter will change; I realised a few months ago that the umbilical cord had [finally] been severed and that she was a grown woman in her own right and that I had a life as well. Tread carefully with the 'new' relationship..it will be different but that doesn't mean it won't be better. Just be there when needed for help and advice, but slip away into the shadows when they want to be 'a family'. And keep talking on here where you'll find more ups and downs than a roller coaster ride! When you're down there's always someone to pick you up again .

Wise words crimson I especially agree that we need to 'slip away into the shadows when they want to be a family'. I'd add, never offer any advise unless its actually asked for and even then tread carefully.
And finally, don't laugh or say 'oh no!' When they tell you the name they've chosen

Oh dear Janey, it sounds like you have a tricky relationship with your DD. I'm sorry for you there . I hope this is just a temporary situation and that whatever is causing the turbulence can be smoothed out in time. Postnatal depression is awful, isn't it? I hope so hard that my DD doesn't go through it. I think losing my enthusiasm about being a grandmother came about because I had been feeling so happy for my DD and SiL and then it hit home what would be expected of me. I think that just because I am a mum they expect me to take it all in my stride and be available for babysitting at the drop of a hat, etc.. Well, I don't exactly feel confident about looking after my grandchild on my own. It's been a lot of years since I was responsible for a little baby and I had her father around then! Of course, I want to help as much as I can and the fact that I only work part-time now may prove to be a blessing in that respect. However, I have always hated being taken for granted and I am worried that this will happen. I don't want to end up feeling resentful. Of course, things could go the other way and I may find that the other GPs spend more time with baby than I do, or even that my DD and SiL spend lots of time with friends, as they do at present, with baby going along too. They already have a travel cot! Sounds like I won't be happy whatever happens, doesn't it ? However, what you said about GPs needing their GC, well I think you have something there. In the last couple of years I have found myself reminiscing a lot about when my daughter was younger and missing cuddling her as a child and even taking her to school. Now I know I will get the chance to do these things again with my GC. I can imagine my DD will be grumbling at me, saying things like 'You cuddle her/him much more than you ever did me' or 'You never used to do that/play that with me'. Yep, it's gonna happen, I just know it is !

Crimson, hi! Thanks for your input! Dunno about my hormones kicking in because of DD's pregnancy, I think it's more that they play me up because of going through the menopause . Like you were, I, too, am mostly concerned about my DD's wellbeing during her pregnancy and am trying hard not to think about how hard her labour might be and the risks involved. She is, ultimately, my priority. Regarding 'severing the umbilical cord', I take your point but then she already thinks she knows better than me about lots of stuff. Sometimes I wonder who the mother is ! You're right, I have a life as well but I am a bit scared that this might be disregarded when baby comes along. I am concerned that if I try to say I am unavailable for babysitting on the odd occasion (will I ? ) that this will be met with disbelief and annoyance. I guess I am scared I will lose my identity as a person in my own right. This probably comes down to having some pretty controlling people in my life over the years. As for 'slipping away' and letting them be a family, what if I am accused of interfering by giving too much advice when it's not always wanted ? Your advice to keep talking on these forums is spot on. It is why I joined and it's a real comfort to know that, as well as having friends who are GPs to consult, I also have the wonderful GPs on Gransnet .

Nanado, regarding names is seems to be me who keeps coming up with the more unusual ones .