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Husband trouble

(90 Posts)
cheelu Mon 31-Dec-12 16:55:32

Having a bit of husband trouble, had a horrid argument yesterday with OH because we had a bit of family stress and we ended up arguing ourselves. I said I was going to leave and my only regret was that I worked soo hard for the home we have and I feel sad about having to give it up....his answer to that was well you can always keep your name on the house...((just to put u in the picture, he did buy me a nice present and offered to take me out news years eve before we had this horrible argument))I was a bit surprised about what he said about keeping my name on the house comment..when he came in from work we had the horrible silence so I said to him, do you have anything to say and he said about what!!!really angry don't know what to do or what to feel.............

glammanana Mon 31-Dec-12 17:00:16

cheerlu life is too short to be arguing at our time of life you never know what is around the corner, make up and go out and enjoy the evening there are many on GN who I know would jump at the chance.

Ana Mon 31-Dec-12 17:03:25

I agree with glamma. Perhaps he's hurt that you threatened to leave. Perhaps he doesn't want another argument. Please try to resolve it and enjoy your time together.

petallus Mon 31-Dec-12 17:07:41

It would be so much better if OHs did not do this stonewalling. It makes everything so much worse and is actually quite abusive.

tanith Mon 31-Dec-12 17:10:13

Its a stressful time of year cheerlu I'm sure you're not the only ones who have fallen out this week.. we all say things we don't mean in the heat of an argument , please try and resolve things as the others have said and enjoy the New Years celebrations

vampirequeen Mon 31-Dec-12 17:17:34

Do you really want to leave him? If not, kiss and make up. Life is too short to stay mad at each other. xxx

Nonu Mon 31-Dec-12 17:19:04

Cheerlu , agree with all the above .

He"ll come round .

Grannyeggs Mon 31-Dec-12 17:22:01

This time of the year all these feelings seem to be heightened. Try to get through thischeelu hard though it might be. Hope all goes well, (((hugs)))

gracesmum Mon 31-Dec-12 17:25:09

Perhaps he saw it as a flash in the pan and a case of least said soonest mended? I agree with kiss and make up if that is what you want. It is not always easy but something along the lines of I was cross, I spoke in haste and I am sorry, you know I didn't mean it etc. Don't necessarily expect an apology from him though!!

cheelu Mon 31-Dec-12 17:25:35

your posts made me cry because you all care, and to be honest I am not really used to that. Its so nice to be able to talk about it and get other peoples take on things

Nonu Mon 31-Dec-12 17:34:26


kittylester Mon 31-Dec-12 17:38:27

There are other threads cheelu where people are posting about lost loved ones, please don't let this carry on unless it is what you really want. flowers

petallus men aren't the only ones who stonewall - I'm quite good at it myself when I feel like it. I'm trying to change! I can think of things that are a lot more abusive though.

crimson Mon 31-Dec-12 17:43:52

Stonewalling is what I do blush; I didn't know there was a word for it. My children always said my silences were far worse than someone with a temper. I'm stonewalling at the moment [that's why I'm up here on the pooter].

Smoluski Mon 31-Dec-12 17:45:25

cheelu can you make up ...are you really still angry,or is that because he will not talk to you and your feelings are frustrated because it feels unfinished business and the air needs clearing....if you have cooled down now a big hug,and a night out will do you good ...have read some of your stresses and can empathise with youxxxxxxlove nellie. flowers

petallus Mon 31-Dec-12 17:52:47

I agree men are not the only ones who stonewall. It was described as abusive in a very good book I have on emotional abuse.

But if ever a miracle happened and DH mentioned a problem we were having before I forced him to I wouldn't pretend I didn't know what he was on about. I'd be so pleased.

Ana Mon 31-Dec-12 17:55:33

Oh dear! I do it too....blush

petallus Mon 31-Dec-12 18:00:29

Stonewalling is refusing to acknowledge or respond to another person's anger or upsetness, not sulking.

Ana Mon 31-Dec-12 18:05:16

Oh - no I don't do that, I sulk! I see what you mean, petallus.

crimson Mon 31-Dec-12 18:19:41

I just go very quiet. My ex was a stonewaller from that description.

cheelu Mon 31-Dec-12 18:26:07

I took everyone's advise and and went and talked to him, I just asked him straight out do you want me to leave and he said no of coarse I don't and we are alright now--without your help I just would have sat here frustrated..thank you does not cover it but a Big Thank you x x x x x

jO5 Mon 31-Dec-12 18:27:28

So you had an argument with DH. What's new? Happens all the time round here. [shrug]

crimson Mon 31-Dec-12 18:34:07

Not for a while, though. We'll be ring rusty by the time the bell goes next time. Seconds out...

gracesmum Mon 31-Dec-12 18:35:56

There you go cheelu!! Have a lovely night out (and don't do anything we wouldn't do!!)grin

angiebaby Mon 31-Dec-12 20:11:58

cheelu,,,,glad you got it sorted,,,stay with all of us,,,,we all husband drives me mad too, sometimes,,,,,but at my time of life i am not leaving the house we have ,,,all my things,,,or the money we have,,,,what for another woman to come along,,,,no way........its quite stressful at christmas and new year,,,,we all go through it,,,so go out and enjoy yourself,,,,after new year go to the hairdressers,,,go to a spa and go shopping and treat yourself....sending you a hug and happy new year,,,,,,

Ylil Mon 31-Dec-12 20:44:10

I agree, we've all invested too much and the grass is not greener. Glad you spoke and got it sorted.