Husband trouble

We do not argue - not because we agree about everything, far from it.

Our trouble is I am right, he is wrong, but for some reason he thinks he is right and I am wrong. (or vice versa)

It usually resolves itself in less that a day, by whoever was wrong saying something seemingly inconsequential but sort of agreeing with what the other person said.

This is not followed up with a "told you so".

It has worked for us for 46 years so seems to be the right solution for us.

They say you should never go to sleep on an argument, but we`ve done it no end of times. Maybe that`s why I never get anywhere in a row, he just ignores me, or even worse, goes to sleep! In the early years of our marriage, I used to throw things, but I caused so much damage, and rarely hit him, that I gradually stopped it.

I used to be the one that did the silent treatment (sulking), I now regret every moment. Appreciate what you have - you never know whats around the corner to take it away from you. cheelu so glad you have made up - when DH and I made up after an argument we would prefer to stay in and cuddle on the sofa!!

In the early months of our marriage I flounced out in a huff and went for a sulk in Greenwich Park, just round the corner from our flat, assuming he would be after me pleading for forgiveness.
Huh!
After a bit I started to get cold so slunk back with as much dignity as I could muster to hear "Been for a nice walk?"
To this day - 42 years on, I do not know if he was being very very clever or simply had not noticed, but I have my suspicions

My ex partner would stonewall me for two weeks at a time. He was a nightmare and then when I left him it took me two years with the help of a solicitor to get our property on the market and sold. He wanted to keep it all for himself. Settlement was just a month ago. I am still pinching myself that I don't ever have to put up with his behaviour ever again. Cheelu your husband sounds normal to me.

Put it all behind you now Faye, thank goodness you got rid!

Freedom is very energising

Husband no2 was a stonewaller and turned his back on me once too often after 25years of marriage,it was a happy release...my lovey OH argue and shout and get it off our chests,and two minutes later talking as though nothing happened no sulking any problems we then thrash out and talk through,it is more volatile,but I feel a more honest relationship,as he is a giver as well as a receiver of conversationxxxxx

So pleased you sorted it, Cheelu. As you know I had my own trouble a few weeks ago.
I don't know if my OH and myself are alone in this, but I would say that nearly all our arguments caused by other peoples problems.

Great news, and Happy New Year. My OH is neither- it just refuses to argue... which can be more than frustrating at times, and makes me look like the big bad one. He does not shout, he does not stone wall - he just keeps going as if nothing is happening/has happened. 42 years on - sometimes I'd love to have a good barney!

Faye and Smoluski I understand how it feels when this is continuous. I've taken the decision to live apart from MrJ for most of the week and luckily I'm in a financial position to do so. We've kept it amicable for the sake of the children and grandchildren. It's like a huge weight has even lifted off me and I feel able to get on with living my life, and actually enjoying it. This year will truly be a new start. I don't need a husband in my life.

Happy New Year Cheerlu....sorry to see you having to put such personal things on a site like this but the comments mean well and are no doubt genuine..mine included...cheer up..it`s a new year love and us DHs don`t profess to be angels,,not yet anyway...and I agree that the grass is NEVER GREENER on the other side but it`s nice taking a bite of the apple now and again.

Indeed the grass is not necessarily greener and talk of leaving should never be in the heat of an argument, but a thought-out reasoned decision, weighing up what the alternatives are. So it might be best not to use that threat too often or it will become ignorable!!

I do hope that the New Year will bring blessings and happiness for you and yours.

Thanks Ella it was very liberating for it all to be over.

Jodi I read your post yesterday in What will be different for you in 2013 and thought then they looked like exciting changes. Good luck!

Thanks Faye I think they're exciting too

Reading these made me remember posts earlier this year from bikergran. Anyone remember them and anyone heard from her recently?

No apologies necesary messenger,...why the apologies??, I am a bit confused... I have no regrets about speaking to GNmembers about my situation..Maybe you would not have done that and maybe you think it is a bad thing to speak openly,maybe thats why you say sorry.. It helped me big time, it was nice to see that people cared and as I said I have no regrets....have I mis understood because it felt a bit like patronising??? Apologies if I am wrong....

PS tried to learn a bit about messenger because I like knowing who I am talking to but there is no profile for

This is mostly true petra but an argument we seem to have on a regular basis is about salt in food, I hate salt and OH must have spoons of it and he moans every single time I cook that there is not enough salt in it, Oh my gosh WHO INVENTED MEN!!!!!!!!!!

stonewalling has come up quite a lot in this thread, didn't realise it was sooo ripe. It is horrible because it causes a horrid atmosphere and solves nothing. I hate the unbarable silence that goes on..

messenger we do tend to pour our hearts out here, that is why we use different names to protect our privacy. cheelu being no different from the rest of us and wanting some advice. I think your bite of the apple is much more personal information.

Too much information even!!!

Put no salt in the food and buy him a big salt shaker and stick it by his place - it really is not worth falling out over such a minute thing!!

Or you could be really naughty and oversalt his helping one day!!! - tempting!!

Nanado ellabarate please because that sounds like a comment a man would say.......................

ps nanado no info on your profile page

Nanado is not a man, cheelu - but messenger is!