Husband trouble

perhaps you just imagine that look of despair could that be possible? Or can you hear stuff from the neighbours?

I know we live in detached and cannot hear anything either side, having said that I have heard daughter one side row with her Mum in garden and through open window in summer, but I just feel for her as my daughter was always very stroppy and hard to cope with.

Tragically their son died a year ago aged 20!!! so they can be excused anything at all!!

You are fortunate if your family do not disagree.

agree shouting rarely solves it, but sometime good to get things out in open and not bottle it all up!!

I am one for doing that,, if there are raised voices, to say don't shout the neighbours will hear, the reason I do that is if there have been raised voices, the next day when I greet my neighbour, it is just a look of despair on their face, and I hate that,, but as said on this thread, it is all part of life and it is true to say that as your children get older they tend to agree less and less with each other..

I find them upsetting, it's a horrible feeling.

With you GA and Anno
I find rows very unpleasant and upsetting too. Fortunately DH and I haven't rowed for years.
The shouting produces an emotional reaction - fear or anger - both of which are counter-productive to resolving whatever the real issue is.

I don't remember my parents rowing so maybe they did it away from us girls.

Me and my husband used to have big rows and he would disappear for hours, sometimes a day, these days though we say what we feel and get over it.

Perhaps we've mellowed.

The rows in our early marriage were usually over the kids or his drinking.

i think it is quite normal for families to have rows, especially when bringing up young family, they are not always going to agree!!

My daughter would scream and shout and bang doors if you used the word No!

I hate the sulky treatment, my OH IS good at that.

Am calmer than when was younger but still get angry sometimes, try not the sweat the small stuff as they say!!

When there was a screaming row in our household, my mother used to go round shutting all the windows for fear of what the neighbours would think. So it wasn't until I met other people at uni that I realised that it was quite normal to have rows. However, I have always tried to avoid confrontation, because when someone shouts at me, invariably tears come to my eyes, try as I may to control them. And my ex couldn't bear tearful women. Not a marriage made in heaven, then!

ga - I was brought up in a house where rows were rare but silent simmering hostility ruled the roost - sometimes I longed to hear a good row!!

I was raised in a household where rowing was the norm and as a consequence I physically cannot bear to hear people rowing; I feel sick when I hear couples row. Happily it's not something I've ever had to endure myself as first husband was a sulker and did the whole 'silent for three days until you're suitably punished' routine (equally horrid, but at least not shouty) and the Wonderful Man employs the 'quiet voice of reason' if he's cross; so rarely that when he does I listen! If I am cross (actually quite a rare event) I usually start ferocious cleaning until I've calmed down and by that time the signals have been read and the WM has apologised/explained/made excuses for whatever upset me before I've needed to say anything.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world....

I hope - indeed expect - that our sons' generation will be more supportive of their wives/partners than some of our husbands - and ex-husbands - have been. Mine ostensibly supported me in spreading my wings, but got really resentful when I did. If he'd stayed in my life, I probably wouldn't have been elected to the local council. Our sons, on the other hand, take on an equal share of cooking and other domestic chores.

Well done, Pollyann. You are changing things for other women.

In my culture husband are the heads of the house and after them the oldest boys. Things are changing slowly. In my generation I am not usual as I have much freedom and knowledge of English and a modern husband. Not one of my friends have this luck. My daughter has a modern husband and my sons are modern husbands.

jane No need to duck! Quite agree. Think the reverse is true as well.

kitty and jane - so true. When it came to my turn to go to uni, as the children started school, he was supporting me all the way, and the same as I started to climb the ladder in my career- and later when I decided to change tack and open my own language school. So different to the 'typical husband' as in 'Educating Reta'.

jingl exactly!

I agree, Jane. My husband has helped me to grow and find my strengths and weaknesses. That doesn't mean we don't fall out but it's all part of our life together.

Well, I would venture to suggest it's possible to be your own person even if you do have a man about the house.
I'd go so far as to say that my DH helped me attain that status, encouraging me to do things I might not have had the confidence to do otherwise [ducks]

Yep! You can't beat it!

Singles solidarity, eh, Ella?

Don't worry anno, I've got your back!

Oh yes, JAB, we can do without them! I have, for 26 years and became my own person after he left. Sorry if I'm offending anyone!

I'm with RINKY -no husband -no rows.
Happy New Year

Cheelu, so glad you have sorted out things, talking is always the best thing, I doubt there are many of us who haven't had similar rows, (don't really believe these people who say they have never had a row, they miss the fun of making up)I know we have, not that I can complain at the moment, while I have been under par DH has been fantastic looking after me, bless him. Don't think we could do without them really. Hope all stays peaceful for you now, isen't this a wonderful site? everyone is so caring.

My husband has bought me flowers twice, at the birth of our first child, they arrived zipped up in a holdall so nobody would see him carrying them, so were half dead when I got them, then on our silver wedding he had some delivered, so still hasn`t actually carried any, and our silver wedding was nearly 25 years ago, so maybe due some more soon................maybe!