Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Fear of flying--is there a real cure

(35 Posts)
cheelu Tue 15-Jan-13 17:45:40

I hate flying because I am chlostraphobic and my son has just told us, he is getting married in Malta....what am I gonna do..........

His girlfriend has said to him how will your Mum make the wedding and he told her that I would not miss the wedding and so it will do me good to be forced to face my fears---I obviously don't agree..and I dont want to face my fears at all..

Ariadne Tue 15-Jan-13 17:46:55


j07 Tue 15-Jan-13 17:47:32

You can get some calmng down tablets from the doctor. Just a few days supply.

My daughter did a 'fear of flying' course with BA. It worked well.

j07 Tue 15-Jan-13 17:48:55

You will probably enjoy the whole trip even more too. smile

j07 Tue 15-Jan-13 17:49:18

with the tabs that is

Stansgran Tue 15-Jan-13 17:50:01

Or plan a cruise to coincide!

JessM Tue 15-Jan-13 17:51:08

Find a really good hypnotherapist.

Granny23 Tue 15-Jan-13 17:57:45

Jings is right - a couple of valium before flights and you might sleep or even enjoy them. DO NOT MIX WITH ALCOHOL grin

merlotgran Tue 15-Jan-13 17:58:38

My daughter used to be scared of flying but was determined to overcome it because she didn't want to miss any opportunities that might come her way. She went on holidays that only required a short flight (with the help of Rescue Remedy) and made sure she was with confident, supportive people. When she married she lived in Northern Ireland for nine years so became used to the hour long flight from Belfast to Stansted. Last year she holidayed in the Maldives which was a real triumph for her.

Worrying about the flight will make it worse, Cheelu. Remember you are not alone. Millions of people hate flying and the Fear of Flying courses are very good.

Grannyknot Tue 15-Jan-13 18:05:03

Good luck (being in the age group and gender most addicted to tranquillisers) with getting them off your GP! Every time I fly long haul my requests have been refused. You will have to buy them on the street. And/or let me know which GP is prescribing!

Anyway so then I just committed to it, thought what the heck. I never ever sit near a window and I read furiously during take off and landing. I must admit I'm not terrified though, just slightly anxious.

crimson Tue 15-Jan-13 18:15:16

My doctor said the trouble with valium is that you sail through the flight but you're so zombiefied you then get off the plane and walk under a bus [he really did say that]. I haven't flown for ages but when I did I always made sure I was really tired when I got on the plane [so I might fall asleep] and never sat by the window. I then pretend I'm sitting on a bus. And I take lots of imodium blush. You're not alone in your fear, cheelu, but there's a whole world out there and flying is the way to see it.

BAnanas Tue 15-Jan-13 18:23:32

I hate flying too cheelu, even though I have flown many times it doesn't get any better. I have to get tranquillisers now. This suggestion is quite extreme, but if you really couldn't face a flight you could get the train down to the toe of Italy then a ferry to Sicily. There is another ferry service between Sicily and Malta. You might need to allow a couple of days for the getting there!

BAnanas Tue 15-Jan-13 18:24:24

I hate flying too cheelu, even though I have flown many times it doesn't get any better. I have to get tranquillisers now. This suggestion is quite extreme, but if you really couldn't face a flight you could get the train down to the toe of Italy then a ferry to Sicily. There is another ferry service between Sicily and Malta. You might need to allow a couple of days for getting there!

BAnanas Tue 15-Jan-13 18:25:27

Oh that's clever of me just posted the same load of nonsense twice!

tanith Tue 15-Jan-13 18:26:39

I feel sympathy for anyone with this fear , my OH has it and its his intention to NEVER get on a plane.. he has missed out on so much although he encourages me to fly with friends and family. Now our son has announced he and his lovely girlfriend are expecting in June and they live in Gibralter so he's not going to see much of the new grandchild which is such a shame..

There are lots of things to try and I hope they work but in our case its not happening.

j07 Tue 15-Jan-13 18:27:39

crimson that is rubbish (what your do said). I used to be on them when they were 'mother's little helpers'. Didn't get zombied at all! They are good effective tranquilisers.

crimson Tue 15-Jan-13 18:31:10

I think that if you take them on a regular basis you get used to them but if you just take them as a one off they knock you out somewhat. He might have been joking, though; always difficult to tell with him!

Mishap Tue 15-Jan-13 18:32:20

I am a complete flying phobic so I never do it. Luckily all our family live in UK - just as well really.

I have tried flying both with and without tranqs and I vowed I would never do it again. I cannot begin to tell you how much I hate it.

I understand the physics of keeping the plane up in the air and I am not claustrophobic - I just hate the whole sensation. But then I am not a fan of speed in any vehicle.

I am not impressed by the statistics that look at deaths per mile - I think think deaths per accident would be more relevant!

Tranqs disinhibit you, so if you are scared you are more likely to let rip and gibber!

JessM Tue 15-Jan-13 18:45:51

jo7 don't you think it is a bit rude to refer to someone's post as "rubbish" even if she was quoting her doctor hmm
Maybe it depends on the dose. Dentists for instance use a big dose of valium to render anxious patients into a semi-conscious state for dental operations don't they? And I bet they tell them not to drive themselves home.

cheelu Tue 15-Jan-13 18:58:21

I couldnt take tranquillisers because it would make me feel worse--because I would feel out of control, I will try and find out abt the BA course that sounds really good. I wish I werent scared--it was mentioned to take someone with you that is confident, I think that is a brilliant idea because it can be transfered confidence and the train is a good idea..Its my own fault I should have tackled it ages ago, just too blinking busy.... Thank you guys, its been a great help, I could always take my laptop on the plane and spend the flight talking to all my GN friends to get me through!!!!! x x smile

cheelu Tue 15-Jan-13 18:59:44

Even the thought of that has made me feel braver!!!!seriously...

bookdreamer Tue 15-Jan-13 19:56:45

I am terrified of flying. Really, terrified! However both of my children and grandchildren live in America so, as I see it, I don't have a choice. I agree with jingle. Valium, diazepam or temazepam are great and I take them with some alcohol. So I feel bad for the next day, but I get over it. Really this has been a big deal for me for a lot of my life and missed out on a trip to California because of it about 15 years ago. After that I said never again!

NfkDumpling Tue 15-Jan-13 20:11:50

If you can afford to take a Fear of Flying course, go for it. A friend did it and it helped enormously. You may need to pop a pill or two as well for the first couple of flights, but there's a wonderful world out there. (Another friend swears by Special Brew)

Perhaps you could treat yourself to an iPad as a reward - much easier to keep in touch with GNetters. It could almost be considered medicinal!

Mishap Tue 15-Jan-13 21:55:40

My DD went on a course last year - it was the windiest of the year with gales everywhere! But she did it - I htink she was very brave!

j07 Tue 15-Jan-13 22:01:50

jessM I did NOT refer to crimson's post as rubbish! I said "what your doc said". That is NOT the same as calling *crimson's post rubbish!!!

FGS!!!!! Totally ridiculous. hmm