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children in earrings

(51 Posts)
graninthemist Sat 26-Jan-13 16:45:10

Is it just me or is it upsetting to see a three-year-old with pierced ears?

Although horrified, I made no comment when I saw that my granddaughter's ears had been pierced. She also wears nail varnish on her toes and fingers, most of which she chews off. I hate seeing little girls being made to look grown up before their time, and worry about what will happen when she gets a bit older.

What would you do?

Learnergran Sat 26-Jan-13 16:50:14

I would do, and say, nothing!
But I too would hate to see it.

Marelli Sat 26-Jan-13 16:57:51

Not keen on it either. Just logged on to Facebook the other day and saw photos of our 4-year-old great-niece at a pampering party. The following photos showed them all in a limo that had been hired to take them on a tour around the area. Other photos showed the little girl whose birthday it was, showing them her mobile phone (although she WAS a bit older - six, I think!) They were all taken to the local hairdressers, where they had their hair, nails and make-up done. Don't like it.....far, far, far too young. hmm

Mishap Sat 26-Jan-13 16:58:40

I have to say - at the risk of offending anyone whose DDs had their ears pierced at a young age - that I do not think children should have their ears pierced. I would go further and say that it should not be within the bounds of the law. It is an act of mutiliation.

I know it is only a little hole, but my OH (ex GP) used to see a steady stream of children with infections and deformed earlobes as a result.

I remember once being in a jewellers and, as I was looking at whatever it was I was buying, I heard screams from a back room. Shortly after a babe of about 1 year emerged in a pushchair, sobbing her heart out and holding her ears - I was sickened.

I also dislike seeing children dressed (and being encouraged to behave) beyond their years. I visited our local today and a little girl (about 7 or 8 I would guess) kindly held the door for me as I was on crutches. She had her hair in artificial waves, and it looked dyed blonde; she wore a denim jacket, tight jeans and high-heeled boots; her ears were pierced. All her clothes were appropriate to a teenager. Lovely kind girl, but growing up too soon I felt.

ninathenana Sat 26-Jan-13 16:59:34

I too would bite my tounge.
But I don't like the idea. I used to work in a chemists where it was my job to do ear piercing. I refused to do it to children under 8-9 (the manager would though) simply on the grounds that at that age hopefully if they didn't want it done they could voice an opinion.
Hate to see children with nail varnish too.

Nonu Sat 26-Jan-13 17:04:20

A Big No , No .

leave them to be little girls , plenty of time for all that , later.

Ariadne Sat 26-Jan-13 17:12:44

I hate to see it too. But is there not, in some communities (not just travellers) a traditions of having very young children's ears pierced? I think it was to do with a belief that it would help their hearing and eyesight. But I have no idea where I came across all this!

Marelli Sat 26-Jan-13 17:22:18

Ariadne, I think I've heard that as well (that it was supposed to help the eyesight!)

BAnanas Sat 26-Jan-13 17:34:31

Yes I hate it as well. My three year old granddaughter had her ears pierced when she was about six months, this was a decision taken by her mother and the other grandmother without consulting my son (the father). He was and is opposed to them but frequently gets overruled by the other grandmother he has remonstrated about this and other matters with the other side, so much so, their relationships has completely broken down. Several times these earings have been caught on her clothes when she is being undressed which has hurt her, this makes me really angry, similarly, when they accidentally get banged against her ear lobes at play, consequently this part of her ear looks slightly swollen and red. I wish my son would just take them out and lose them. I hope when she goes to school she will be told to take them out. Although one of my grandfathers was from the Southern Mediterranean and I know in Latin cultures earings are worn by little girls, I just think they look trashy over here. However, I have learned that paternal grandparents opinions often count for very little!

whenim64 Sat 26-Jan-13 17:36:31

I understand that many people do like their daughters to have pierced ears when they are babies, but I have never liked them. Nor would I have them as an adult. It's up to the individual.

annodomini Sat 26-Jan-13 17:38:47

I did bite my tongue when my first GD's ears were pierced at an early age - can't now remember how early. I wasn't going to risk falling out with her mother at a stage when she (child) really needed me. She has grown up quite normal.

numberplease Sat 26-Jan-13 17:42:34

I hate seeing babies with their ears pierced. Wait until they`re old enough to make their own minds up, better still, make them wait like we did, till they were 18.

Mishap Sat 26-Jan-13 17:47:24

BAnanas - congratulations for biting your tongue - 6 months! - that is dreadful. And all the discomforts that you describe could have been avoided. I feel for your son facing the impregnable mafia of partner + her Mum!

None of my girls had their ears pierced and none of their children have. Mind you they did see me go through misery when I had mine done at the age of about 40 and it resulted in a puss extravaganza!!! - yuk! Once healed, I let the holes close up.

I remember meeting one lady who had had her ears pierced and the result was choroinic infection - her earlobes looked just as if mice had been nibbling at them - it was always hard to take your eyes off them!

Grannyknot Sat 26-Jan-13 17:50:45

I flinch when I see babies or little girls with pierced ears. Don't like it. I had my ears pierced in my late twenties and I'm happy with that - but I never wear heavy earrings because I have a dread of ending up with earlobes that sweep my shoulders - sometimes I see women on telly with great big 'chandeliers' that make the pierced hole a long slit in the ear lobe. Not a good look.

Likewise, the fashion (mainly amongst young men) for large "plugs" that stretch the hole in the earlobe, makes me wonder - what happens the day you no longer want to wear plugs (or whatever they are called) and you're left with a large hole in your ear? hmm

Ana Sat 26-Jan-13 17:51:24

DD pestered and pestered me from the age of about 10 to let her have her ears pierced. I held out until she was 14 and warned her she'd have to go to school smelling of TCP for ages afterwards...grin

annodomini Sat 26-Jan-13 17:56:45

Gk, my rather old gardener in Kenya wore large plugs in his lobes 'for best' but on working days he removed the plugs and twisted the resulting loops over the tops of his ears. And yes, it looked bizarre. Can't imagine the youngsters of today doing that in the future. Plastic surgeons may have a new form of surgery to tackle.

Nonu Sat 26-Jan-13 18:00:08

I did not have my ears pierced until I was 30 . Even then I was terrified of pain .

Notwithstanding , I glad I did take the plunge . I do find that clip ons can pinch quite a lot


Grannyknot Sat 26-Jan-13 18:07:11

Yes anno it is a custom amongst older Zulu men as well, younger ones not so nowadays, they may just have an ordinary earring. Can you want to be faffing around tucking your earlobes over the tops of your ears?!

On another note, my DD who did never did anything rebellious, at one time had a sort of a punk boyfriend and I think she wanted to impress him, so she had a tongue piercing. I went bananas in the worst possible way, I was so worried that it would become infected. Partly because she had a hip replacement at a very young age (15) after an accident, and the surgeon had told us/her that she must be careful of infections generally "as a prosthetic is a weak spot in the body and will attract infection". (No idea whether it is so or not, but it stuck in my head). She took it out after not too long but it really upset me. I couldn't do anything except rant and rave though, because she was in her 20s (she ignored me). Luckily it was fine and ten years later the hole has closed.

Hunt Sat 26-Jan-13 18:12:18

The thought of pierced ears for little girls makes me shudder. Two little girls of my acquaintence suffered badly from their pierced ears. One had a hooped keeper which got caught in someones shopping basket and she was dragged along by her ear. The other had a stud and was hit by a ball which drove the stud right through her ear lobe. No thanks.

nightowl Sat 26-Jan-13 18:13:07

Grannyknot the holes made by the 'plugs' (I think they are called flesh tunnels) can shrink depending on how big they are and for how long they are used. DD had flesh tunnels when she was 16 (to my horror) and she wore them for 3 or 4 years. They have gradually reduced in size until now, at the age of 26 she has quite normal looking pierced ears. I think the people who wear them for many years would not have such a good result.

I hate to see children with pierced ears and held out with DD until she was 13 - I wanted to make it later but as you can see, I was fighting against the tide!

Grannyknot Sat 26-Jan-13 18:18:22

nightowl even the name 'flesh tunnels' is enough to put me off! I'm pleased to hear they shrink!

I think you can have cosmetic surgery now to get earlobes 'trimmed' and fixed. This thread also reminded me of a colleague (man) who had his earring torn out in a fight in a pub and now has a misshapen earlobe.

BAnanas Sat 26-Jan-13 18:40:29

Mishap I've had to bite my tongue so many times in the past three years it's a wonder I still have a tongue left! The earings are really the tip of the iceberg, my son had a full blown row with his partner's mother recently for not allowing his daughter to stand outside the house with her, his girlfriend and her sister whilst they were all having a cigarette. They like many others who smoke think it's OK to have a fag outside, but cigarette toxins still permeate the fibres of clothes and hair for quite a while afterwards and our granddaughter has asthma so joining a coven of witches all with a cigarette on the go was something my son was not going to allow. We have polar attitudes over so many issues I know it will only get worse and they are the primary influence in her life. I'm not opposed to earings per se, I had my ears pierced at 13. I just don't believe babies or small children should have it imposed on them, I see it as a sort of mutilation and I just don't think little girls need any adornments.

annodomini Sat 26-Jan-13 18:42:28

The girls I taught in Africa used to pierce one anothers' ears with a red-hot needle then draw a cotton thread through the hole to keep it open. There was a fairly regular stream of visitors to the mission hospital for antibiotics. There was no persuading them of the folly of this practice! I had mine done at the age of 27 when my doctor sister had a slack afternoon in A&E. She did the deed with a hypodermic. I had gold studs at the ready.

granjura Sat 26-Jan-13 19:06:46

Hate seeing little ones with earpierced too. A form of abuse perhaps?

My mother was totally opposed to pierced ears, and always said it is so 'common'! One of my best friend's in the UK bought me gold earings for my 30th bd, and had not realised that I didn't have pierced ears. So she came with me to her favourite jewellers on Church Gate (Leicester) and instructed hi to pierce my ears, the old fashioned way with a piercing tool and a piece of cork at the back.

gracesmum Sat 26-Jan-13 19:19:39

I think there is more than one issue here. Little children with pierced ears? No !! TG I have DGSs and their parents are highly unlikely to go down that road. However I used to say the same about any piercings and when DD2 came home after her first term at Art College with a (discreet) nose stud, I realised that all my prejudices about it being cheap/slutty/blah blah were unfounded, she was still the same lovely girl. (She was quick to whip it out when it came to Granny's funeral though as she felt it wasn't appropriate!)
The wider issue about the sexualization of little girls is much more disturbing. On the one hand parents are terrified of paedophiles and yet they will allow their little girls to look adult way before their time and the appearance of young pre-teens and teenagers frequently can only be described as "jailbait". I am careful to say appearance as little girls are still little girls inside. Open your eyes, parents, is this what you want your little girls to be? I am so glad that our 3 DDs were tomboys on the outside, trying to get DD1 then aged 12 into a skirt for a trip to the ballet was a battle which I lost!