DS3 is getting married next year so we are thinking about this all right now. As her family don't live in the UK I will be helping them with the arrangements. This is how we are going about it:
First a list of what is important to them: Photos, as they will last a lifetime, church where they feel comfortable. It will be near our home rather than their's so no loyalty involved although there will be by the time they get married. Traditional venue where they will have the place to themselves and no one not associated with the wedding will be around. Enough accommodation for her and her family the night before the wedding and for our family as well on the night of the wedding. Her dress probably be designed by a colleague and made by other colleagues. Flowers, modest and buttonholes only for very close family. Table decorations, I may just buy bowls and float flowers in them or something similar. Limited number of invitees.
Things necessary but of less importance: Invitations, no one remembers them. Food, no need to be the most expensive. Drinks, limited to beer wine and soft drinks and sparkling wine instead of champagne. Cake, we don't have anyone who can do this but don't need anything OTT.
Things not necessary: Favours, what is the point? Fireworks, why? Cars probably not necessary if venue is very close to church but then only for bride and father to the church and bride and groom after ceremony. Everyone else can use their own.
Yes, they want the full works and have been saving for it. It is their wedding and should be as they want it.
DS1's wedding was more modest as that was the way they wanted it. It was a civil wedding at the reception venue. Family men just wore their own suits but all had the same ties. They only invited about 30 people as that seemed to be the natural cut off point. Their cake was from M&S and was about half the price it would have been if from a baker. It was all lovely.
DS2's wedding was probably somewhere between the other two and they made all the plans themselves so it was a surprise for everyone. The Registrar gave them the pen used to sign the register to keep which we thought was a lovely idea and we will buy one for DS3's wedding for them to keep too.
I would also appreciate any ideas which we might use for the wedding next year.