Frank, you ask why your daughters should pay back money you give them. Obviously I cannot talk about your individual situation, but there has been a thread, and a posting here by somebody who has given their children everything and demanded nothing in return and the result, as told on Gransnet, is immature children, who are incapable of standing on their own feet or thinking through the results of their actions, on their parents, themselves or anybody else, because they know no matter what they do their parents will always bail them out.
The problems recounted on Gransnet are not the only example a friend was complaining to me yesterday about the son of one of her friends who is unemployed and on benefits but is making no effort to find work because his benefit payments are supplemented by large and frequent cash handouts from his parents and, as my friend says, her taxes and mine are going towards paying his benefits because his mother has removed any incentive for him to seek work. I can think of several other similar examples.
The difficulty we face if we are fortunate to be comfortably off and want to share the bounty with our children is ensuring we have adult mature children capable of making their way independently in the word, who are grateful when we gild their gingerbread now and again with help to replace cars, buy appliances or let the grandchildren learn a musical instrument and having immature children who know that however reckless, foolish or perverse their decision making is it doesnt matter because the bank of mum and dad will always bail them out.
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