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How to motivate yourself

(48 Posts)
Jadey Tue 12-Mar-13 13:40:53

Would do you do when you are feeling de flateted..........What works........

matson Tue 12-Mar-13 13:46:25

a good cry, a little bit of " whoah is me time" then a good talking to yourself, and back up and at "em! dont let the barstewards wear you down. flowers x

Movedalot Tue 12-Mar-13 14:02:59

Get down on hands and knees and scrub the kitchen floor! No, I think that was when I used to get fed up with DH, don't get fed up with him any more. grin

I think I just wait for a day or two and it tends to go away. It probably depends upon the cause, if it is something I can do something about I probably just get on and do it but if it is really bad and outside my control then that is much harder.

Hope you feel better soon flowers

gracesmum Tue 12-Mar-13 14:18:08

Poor Jadey - this sounds as if it comes from the heart?
I wish I knew. It is usually an external factor which gets my "get up and go", going. Sitting in the loo, thinking, "this needs redecorating "- and start pulling strips off the wall befor I can have second thoughts.
A sunny day can motivate me to hit the garden or people coming to stay galvanise me into cleaning action (can you tell that I am lazy?) but the main thing is to give in to the urge right away, rather than think about is as the urge evaporates very easily - e.g. when I think I'll "just check" GN.
How to find that motivation or energy? Maybe music - a bit og a brass band, or an 80's aerobics favourite? Or let it go - take a day off, suppress any feelings of guilt and start afresh. A bit of legitimate down time with the idea that it will be for a couple of days max only. .
For prioritising jobs when I have so many to do I don't know where to start - I number them 1-6 and roll a dice (or die for the pedants) and do whichever number comes up grin

whenim64 Tue 12-Mar-13 14:28:23

My motivation tends to come put of the blue as you describe gracesmum and a week before Christmas my 'sat on the loo' moment led to me painting the wooden bath panel at 1 in the morning. It took half an hour and a bit of touching up next morning - I had been planning to do it for over a year. A bit of sunshine and a moment pulling out a couple of weeds can lead to two hours gardening, and a search for one photograph can turn into me rearranging the spare bedroom - all on the spur of the moment.

If I feel down, which isn't often, some rigorous cleaning usually gets rid of it.

Butty Tue 12-Mar-13 15:04:34

I feel Movedalot is on the right lines, by mentioning something around identifying the cause of why you're feeling deflated, Jadey. I hope that by finding the cause, you'll be able to find a way through this low period.
I find going out for a good walk often works to lift spirits.

soop Tue 12-Mar-13 15:13:28

Butty Wise, as ever. smile

Fondasharing Tue 12-Mar-13 15:47:06

Sometimes overanalysing why you feel down can make you even more miserable!!

So instead I try to list all the good things in my life and set some goals around the ones that are frustrating me. I also try to "delete that programme" in my head if negative thoughts keep popping in!!

I use a "nightbook" which has my wheel of life and objectives in all the main areas: i.e. family life, social, marriage (or relationships), personal development, career (if you have one!), attitude, home, happiness,leisure and recreation, spiritual, health and finances. i regularly give these areas marks out of 10 (1 being the lowest) and if there are several areas with low marks, then I set objectives to improve those areas. I look at the nightbook just before I am going to sleep and it reminds me of the areas I need to improve.

hope this helps.

Galen Tue 12-Mar-13 16:26:25

Bake cake!( to give away of course)

kittylester Tue 12-Mar-13 16:33:49

We are all different aren't we?

I have various things through out the week that mean I have to keep going but I'm quite a positive person so my motivation usually comes back on its own.

gracesmum I was thinking that too. Are you ok, Jadey? flowers

JessM Tue 12-Mar-13 16:34:27

That is an interesting idea fonda.
I have a little book in which I write down the things I need/want/must/plan to do. i have a lot of must dos at the moment as we are moving later this year. I also have a want to do - which is finish a short ebook about the gut. Instead of writing a list like this: pick up pills, phone the council, get an estimate for the painting
I try to remember to write a list like this:
I will pick up my pills
I will phone the council
I will phone Fred about an estimate for the painting
More than a list, these are specific plans/intentions and I find it works best if I do tomorrow's list before going to bed (this has a number of advantages - less likely to be doing "i must rememeber to" in the middle of the night, less likely to forget about something in the morning etc")
Try to use this one day at a time - there are mega lists in the background.
Include trivia on list so that you can cross them off and feel like you have DONE something.
I still struggle though as I find being in the house all day on my own de-energising. Can then lapse into a solitarie and gransnet stupor.
Walk every day also excellent butty but with ice on the pond and a biting easterly with mega wind chill, I wimped out yesterday and today.

Butty Tue 12-Mar-13 16:49:08

fonda Sounds like your night-book has a fair bit of over analysis going on there. wink
What do you do when some/many/all areas of life overlap, like life tends to do, and are not easily, nor conveniently, separate?

FlicketyB Tue 12-Mar-13 16:53:09

Sing a song, a cheerful ong. I use The Sun has got its Hat on. However unlike singing you feel when you start, it does kick start the recovery process.

Fondasharing Tue 12-Mar-13 19:02:22

You are right does sound like a lot of analysis....but in reality because I have all these "sections" to mark, then I do not dwell too long on the one giving me the most headache! I think I am more like JessM where my lists of objectives are written as though they have actually happened!!


My current one for improving my attitude is as follows:

Henceforth I shall grow more good humoured. Joy, happiness and cheerfulness are becoming my normal state of mind. Every day I am becoming more loveable and understanding. I am now becoming the centre of cheer and goodwill to all those around me, infecting them with good humour!!

The trick is to make the mind believe it is actually happening, and you know works!!!! It is a daily reminder to myself to keep working on the positives and not dwell on the negatives. Not always easy as we all know!!

Stansgran Tue 12-Mar-13 19:09:20

I make a list of what I have achieved by the end of the day rather than what I am going to do. Sometimes I feel I have wasted a day but if I remind myself that a meal prepared or a bed made or appointment made is a good result.
Grieg is always cheerful country wedding stuff.

goldengirl Tue 12-Mar-13 19:42:37

Fortunately or unfortunately I seem to live my life with deadlines which is motivating because I don't want people to think badly of me and I think is the key. However there are some days - especially weekends - when I don't feel like doing anything at all except read or watch house programmes on TV; I call this 'relaxation' smile. Thankfully I'm married to someone who doesn't care two hoots about dust and clean floors. I am a list maker though and love adding to the list - just so I can tick things off; weird or what hmm

Wheniwasyourage Tue 12-Mar-13 22:49:52

Oh, you're not alone in that, goldengirl. I make a list of things I need to do in a notebook and score them off eventually (except "wash the windows" which, strangely, seems to on from page to page), but at times of extra stress, like before we go on holiday and I want to leave the place neater and tidier than usual, the lists go on to bits of paper and include the most trivial things, just so that I can score them off and feel I am doing something. If I spent the time tidying and cleaning instead of making lists, this house could be a show home.

Jadey Tue 12-Mar-13 23:03:36

Thank you for sharing that Fond I really appreciate the time you took to explain that and ir did really help. Thank you.

What I do do is if I am worried about something I do write the things that I am worried about and give them a score out of ten so that I can work out what I am worried about the most, so quite similar to what you do in a way and you are absolutly right, it does defentley work.

Thank you gracemum for you kind post x

Thanks everyone for taking the time to help x

Oldgreymare Wed 13-Mar-13 07:28:12

This is something I must apply to myself as I have been feeling more down than up recently, a psychologist friend said to try this trick:
Every morning, before getting out of bed repeat 3 times:
Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better.
I'd forgotten that, but when I'm low, it is so easy just to wallow! hmm

baubles Wed 13-Mar-13 08:01:22

OGM there's nothing wrong with a bit of 'hippo' time, the trick is to have your wallow then climb back up out of the mud smile

JessM Wed 13-Mar-13 08:17:13

Mmm I think hippo is ok if you have had a period of stress or very hard work and you need to recover. But sometimes mild gloom is the problem and getting out and about is more likely to help than wallow time.

Movedalot Wed 13-Mar-13 08:53:31

The problem as I see it is that we can all have a way of dealing with things when they come at a 'normal' level (whatever that is) but when extremes happen all theories go out the window and we don't even think about ways to cope. We either manage to get on with it or go under because life is just too stressful to think about coping strategies.

Nelliemoser Wed 13-Mar-13 18:47:40

I think when in emotional gloom a bit of warm sunshine and lovely places help me. I hate these dull days.
About three weeks ago it was a glorious day when I went down Winnats Pass and though Castleton in the Peak District on my way to DDs. It was so warm and gentle and bright it really cheered me up I could have gone off for a walk if I'd had time.

Ana Wed 13-Mar-13 18:50:22

Movedalot, that's a very good point.

numberplease Wed 13-Mar-13 21:44:51

I sit and think about which furniture items and other stuff I can legitimately take with me when I walk out, by the time I`ve worked my way through the house, in my mind, the argument`s over..............and we`re getting ready for the next one!!