What the worse thing you ever lost

Yes, they are wise words, and I did 'get over it' because I had to. But that first initial feeling when you remember the experience is always there, even if you have come to terms with it.

Lost relationships are a million times more devastating than things or words, but if there's nothing to be done about it the wise and sensible response is, as you both say, put it in a box.'

Bags, substitute 'daughter and her children' for 'brother' and you have my exact situation. And I, too, have managed to put the hurt in a box and get on with my life.

An example of something I lost and simply had to "get over" because there is nothing I can do about it, is my relationship with my eldest brother. We grew up together. He is only thirteen months older than me. He asked me to make his wife's wedding dress, which I did, including making all the lace for it.

But it became apparent when they'd been married for about five years that visits from his siblings were not welcome. These would only have been few and far apart because we are a spread out family, but not even dropping in for a cup of tead when travelling near where they lived was encouraged. Well, it was positively discouraged.

That hurt, but eventually I gave up trying and I've tucked away the regret about it in a very small secure box. I'm not sure it's even regret any more – more an acceptance that I'll never understand whatever the problem is, but whatever it is, it's not my problem.

Like you, Bags, I attach little importance to things. My sister had put her passport (somewhere safe) and when I went over to bring her back to France for a holiday, we turned her house upside down, and eventually it turned up in a old suitcase which she swore she hadn't opened in years. Hm.....she loses things all the time or has them stolen.
I find the best thing to do with important documents is to file them at once in a folder, clearly marked, in case of my death, and put it in a plastic crate. I don't have any jewellery now, having given it all to my daughters, except one ring which I wear all the time.
I did once leave my credit card in a cash machine in Egypt but somebody took it into the bank for me so I was able to get it back on production of my passport.
I think if anybody broke into my flat to steal, they might end up leaving me something instead. I have moved seven times in the last ten years, mainly to furnished rental properties in France, so my possessions have dwindled.

Oddly the lost ring meant more to me than my wedding ring, which I lost years ago on a beach.

MiceElf

A few years ago on my return from a holiday in Tunisia I, at the last minute, checked in a bag which I'd intended carrying on with me so it wasn't locked.
In it was a ring given to me by my husband in the early days of our marriage and also a pair of earrings given to me by my mother.

You can probably guess the outcome - weeks later I opened the little pouch only to find it empty. Neither item was particularly valuable but the ring meant a lot to me.

Yes, that's very annoying, but once you've accepted that it/they are irrecoverable, you just have to go back to square one and start again, or else metaphorically jump over the hole that has just formed in front of you. That's how I think of it anyway. I can't be arsed with staying stressed about something I can do nothing to change. Seems like a waste of energy

But what about not 'things' but real irreplaceables? I once lost 20,000 words because I hadn't backed it up.

It still stresses me when I think about it.

I can't remember losing anything so important that I couldn't get over it fairly quickly. A horse ate my wedding ring a few months after I got married. I decided I wasn't really a ring person. DH1 refused to wear a ring anyhow. I guess he wasn't a ring person either. DH2 wears a wedding ring and I don't, though I do have one somewhere.

I do remember getting in a right tizzy in my teens about something I couldn't find. Afterwards, I decided I didn't ever want to feel like that again, and I haven't. That's not to say I haven't lost things and been irritated about it, but once I start feeling the irritation but cannot think of anywhere else to search, or cannot recover the item for some other reason, I shrug and move on.

On the whole, I don't think I get emotionally attached to objects for sentimental reasons. Useful things, or recreational things that I use a lot, I'd be annoyed about losing, but only until the annoyance annoyed me more than the loss! Then I'd 'tell' the annoyance to get lost, so to speak.

The trick for finding a missing earring is to cover the end of the vacuum cleaner hose with a some fine fabric, such as a piece of muslin or old tights, and vacuum the whole floor until the earring is sucked up but can't disappear into the vacuum cleaner. I imagine this would work for anything small and light.

My grandmother's wedding ring. It was rather loose on my finger and when shook my hand to warm it up, the ring shot off down a gap beside the handbrake of my (then) old banger, a Vauxhall Chevette and no matter how much I searched in and under the car, I never found it, but I still have my other granny's engagement ring.

My temper!

Cathy, snap - not my wedding but one of my daughter's weddings. I had rather a lot of champagne (well, I had paid for it) and in those pre-digital days I had taken the film out of my camera and somehow lost it.
I have also recorded over some precious video films which I had had made from our old 16 mm cine films.
I lost one of a lovely pair of earrings that my daughter bought for me with her first week's wages. It dropped in my bedroom and I searched the carpet with finger tips and I will never understand where it went.

We had a burglary and my wife's engagement ring was stolen.
I was glad she was more concerned about the dog we had at the time.
The thieves locked him in a cupboard. He did bark when he heard us so he was easy to find.
The neighbours said they did hear some barking earlier so it appears the dog did his job.

Frank