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Worried about a woman

(17 Posts)
liminetta Wed 29-May-13 08:31:37

Increasingly, I am becoming worried about a woman who lives next door but one to me. My husband thinks I,me daft, but I am genuinely concerned for her welfare.Let me explain. The man who she moved in with a few years ago is not a particularly nice man.His house is absolutely filthy, and from what the people round about say, he has a dubious past.This man has a couple of dogs(not the banned kind) and now he is unable to walk them,she is taking them out.But that is all she does, apart from going to the local shop for groceries.She never has any sort of contact with anybody, The other day I was shocked when a neighbour told me that she has two brothers, and they have told her to stay put or they will sell her to the Pakistanis! I cant stop thinking about all this.What should I do?

Bags Wed 29-May-13 08:42:02

Are you afraid she is in danger of being "trafficked", liminetta? That would be worrying.

On the other hand, is it possible that what you heard from the neighbour is just gossip?

Grannyknot Wed 29-May-13 08:46:58

I'd strike up a conversation with her ... do you ever see her out and about e.g. at the local shop?

liminetta Wed 29-May-13 08:57:01

I<me afraid for her, Bags, but I have no concrete evidence other than I see her walking past wearing the same clothes every single day, she is or could be quite attractive, but he is horrible, dirty, and much older than her.Perhaps my neighbours tale was jus gossip.Actually, Grannyknot, I intend to approach her soon, and ask if she is alright.She never speaks to anyone at all.I am wondering how ot open a conversation with her. Gossip among the neighbourhood includes: oh, we think she is Rumanian or foreign; or: oh, she is probably slow, or; she cant speak English.But I think to myself, how does anyone know if no one speaks to her?

dorsetpennt Wed 29-May-13 09:07:44

Say hello by all means and keep an eye for anything worrying. Do be careful, what you see and hear from your neighbours could be hearsay. Why would the neighbour be privy to the Pakistani selling comment? How does she know it wasn't joke? Sounds like she looks 'different' and because of that people are gossiping.

Bags Wed 29-May-13 09:09:12

You're quite right to be sceptical about the rumours if no-one speaks to the woman. It's kind of you to want to talk to her. I hope you find that she is allright.

Marelli Wed 29-May-13 09:34:56

A smile and a 'hello' the next time you meet her may just draw her out a bit, liminetta. Next time you could perhaps pass comment on the dogs? She could well be feeling a bit inferior because people aren't talking to her. She might feel like this because she hasn't got a regular change of outfits as well. Good luck and let us know how it goes?

whenim64 Wed 29-May-13 09:38:04

Sometimes we pick up on concerns for good reason and it's only when more specific qestions are asked that you realise your gut instinct was working well. I would say be friendly and not intrusive, in case she is at risk from this man and this affects the freedom she has at the moment. I have known of trafficked women being 'ghosted' (moved elsewhere in the middle of the night) when they have talked to others without permission, or they have been kept indoors under lock and key.

If you speak to her and some of the information you have been given appears to be correct e.g. she has an eastern European accent, she might be learning disabled and is being neglected, you can speak to the police, who will do a visit and speak to the couple. They won't disclose it was you who contacted them.

If she suddenly disappears, tell the police, too. The man will have to explain where she is, and will be under suspicion if disappearance is cross-referenced with your concerns.

If there is no problem, at least she will know she has friendly neighbours!

Eloethan Wed 29-May-13 13:07:33

liminetta I wonder if Crimestoppers - where you can talk to someone about your concerns without giving your name - could be your first port of call before contacting the police.

Does anyone on GN have any experience of Crimestoppers or any support organisation that would be suitable to contact regarding suspected trafficking or adult abuse?

It's nice to know that there are people like you who keep an eye out for their neighbours, rather than keeping their head down.

whenim64 Wed 29-May-13 13:46:07

Yes, Crimestoppers is a good idea for annonymity. They liaise with the nearest police station, and officers will go round. They don't report back and if you want to gve further information, you go through the same process again, whereas reporting it locally gives you access to an officer or team who knows about the matter.

Movedalot Wed 29-May-13 14:40:39

I think it would be best to speak to her before calling in any authorities. There might be nothing wrong and then you will have stirred things up.

Surely it would be easy enough to talk to her when she is walking the dogs? I would go up and ask if you can stroke them and start a conversation that way. I just spent half an hour talking to someone we have gived plants away to on Freecycle, we just sort of started chatting.

How long has she/he been living there? Why has no one spoken to them before? Round here when someone moves in we all pop round to welcome them.

whenim64 Wed 29-May-13 14:47:58

Yes, first things first. There might not be a problem when you've said 'hello' and had a better chance to appraise things.

susieb755 Wed 29-May-13 20:17:51

This website might give you some tips:

liminetta Wed 29-May-13 20:22:00

Thanks for all your help everyone.Gosh, Whenim64, I me a bit shocked whenyou said people have been "ghosted" in the middle of the night! I certainly don't want that to happen,But I am encouraged by all your suggestions, and I am determined to approach her this week.Come to think of it, I havnet seen her for a couple of days.....but then, I,me not in manyatime.However, I promise I will proceed with caution, and let you know what happens, if anything.

whenim64 Wed 29-May-13 20:37:02

Hi liminetta. Hopefully all will be well. Looking forward to meeting you on Friday at our north-west meetup in Bolton x

liminetta Thu 30-May-13 21:07:56

Hello, [whenim64] Yes, I,me looking forward to tomorrow in Bolton.See you there.

jeanie99 Sun 02-Jun-13 21:36:48


You can't believe everything people say, because some people thrive on gossip and exaggeration.

However you could go round and ask if she would like to come round for a coffee/tea. Just say you have not had the chance to know each other and as you are neighbours would love it if she came round for a natter and a cuppa.

See what she says, you could get her talking at the door even if she declines coming for a drink.