After the Funeral - what comes next?

One of my siblings had a child who died at 16, I don't think it is something to be 'got over' but as time goes on the wound seems to be a little less raw. I don't think my brothers's wound will ever close completely.

Take each day as it comes, there is no right or wrong way to deal with grief.

When my MIL died she was only 58 and she died from a side effect of taking drugs for Arthritis. She died in 1981 and it was a very difficult situation to come to terms with. Long after the funeral and indeed for many years there were solicitor meetings and court cases and there never was any ' closure ' We have learned to live again but the sadness is still there.

I agree it has to be small steps and take one day at a time. I know when my sister thinks of the future it all seems overwhelmingly bleak to her. She has lost her only child and is a single parent. She has been staying with us, but has now chosen to go back to her house where she lived with her daughter. I think this has been hard for her, but she wanted to do it so as to feel closer to her daughter and all her things. I used to think it odd that parents kept a dead child's room just as they left it, but now I understand it. You will never get over such a loss, you only learn to live with the reality of it.

In relation to closure, I think it may relate to something different for each person. My parents died after many years in a nursing home and all the difficulties and problems that are encountered along the way.
I was fortunate to be with both of them when they died and it gave me such a sense of peace knowing that throughout all their difficulties and illnesses I had been able to do whatever I wanted to do and had felt was necessary and be with them as much as possible. For me, closure meant feeling that I had no regrets, no wishing 'if only I had done....' something.
It certainly didn't mean the grief was any less but I had a an underlying sense of closure - having done all I could possibly do. Even after 20 years special music and memories reduce me to tears but for me this will always be true as I remember precious times.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2013/jun/17/arabella-campbell-obituary

I don't know if this is allowed but it has helped me to write an obituary which has been published on the Guardian website.

That's lovely suzied. What a beautiful girl and such a lovely smile.

There are no words...... Such a beautiful girl...... I can only send invisible, mental hugs and strength. XX

I shed a tear for you loss, Suzie, how unbearable for all of you. Please take care of yourself, too xxx