Hi, been shedding a few tears this morning. Have grandchildren every weekend after my son's relationship broke down. They weren't married, so he is constantly threatened that he can't see the kids unless he complies with everything she says. She had them very young, has never worked and now lives on benefits. It's breaking my heart because they turn up filthy, with matted hair every week. I do as much as I can, cooking them healthy meals and taking them to the park and giving them soaks in the bath and clean clothes. The eldest has been covered in sores for a few months now. My son has asked the mother to take them to GP but she refuses. I think they're off the health visitor scope after a few moves. My son is told to eff off if he tries to request clean clothing (he pays a good amount of maintenance and I buy a lot of clothes for them) or health checks. I love them so very very much, it's breaking my heart but I have no control over their care apart from what I can do at weekends. I know they're going to be the scruffy, dirty kids when they start school but I can't force their mother to be clean. I am at my wits end, it's so hard to switch off. Is there anything I should do about the sores? I don't know if it's an allergy, or maybe, and this is what I suspect, wearing dirty clothing and sleeping in unchanged bed linen. And if I took my grandchild to our GP, I would probably get into trouble. My son is afraid, as she keeps threatening to stop him seeing them if he makes a fuss. We are in bits. We are a clean (not obsessive) household and it's breaking my heart seeing them like this. How do you cope? How do you switch off? I'm making myself ill and I'm not long out of treatment for a serious illness. Any advice much appreciated. The mother hates me now, although we once got on well, so any suggestions from me would just make things worse.
