Sadiesnam I am afraid, as you say, you are coming across as very negative, but any activity outside the home is going to require some effort on your part. No activity is going to come to your door and welcome you unless you are prepared to come forward and be welcoming to it. You need to start thinking about things you would like to do. Does having a degree and a professional training really preclude you from showing an interest in learning about anything new?
I have several degrees, but last term I did a course on William Morris, this term I am studying the Bayeux tapestry,over the last five years I have done literature courses and language courses and craft courses. Why not consider developing an interest in a craft or an entirely new subject that tickles your fancy when you see it in a day or evening course brochure
You seem obsessed by not being good at small talk, but casual conversation among members of an organisation is the oil that helps it operate well. Going to a coffee morning doesn't mean you have to talk the whole time, many people rather enjoy having a listener. Just being there means that people get used to having you around and begin to see you as part of the group.
I assume you worked as a teacher. Did you really go through your whole teaching career without ever exchanging any words with colleagues and pupils that was not directly work related or meaningful?