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What would you do.

(45 Posts)
Bopeep14 Wed 22-May-19 17:57:12

I have been having a bit of trouble with a neighbour lately which i have been ignoring, but tonight as my son was leaving after picking up his child she was just going out with her male friend they started shouting and swearing at my son and me, calling me names etc. It took me all my time to stop my son from retaliating, we just carried on walking to the car and ignored them, this is what i need advice for as we walked past them they both smelt very strongly of something my son said it was cannabis i have no idea what it smells like, my daughter has also told me she has smelt it while walking past the house when she has the windows open. They both got into his car and drove off. If my children are correct he or possibly both of them are driving under the influence of drugs. Would you report them is it actually illegal to smoke cannabis in your own home? Advice please.

DoraMarr Wed 22-May-19 19:05:08

No, it isn’t illegal to use cannabis in your own home. I wouldn’t report them to the police, you have no evidence that they are incapable of driving. Best just to ignore them.

BlueBelle Wed 22-May-19 19:11:25

Once you have smelt cannabis you will always recognise it
I don’t think driving whilst using cannabis is illegal or smoking in your own home only supplying for gain
I d not get into a neighbourhood row I d let things die down or it could become very uncomfortable for you

EllanVannin Wed 22-May-19 19:14:45

If this couple are randomly calling out names and swearing for no reason and they stink of cannabis, then it is worthy of reporting as this " state that they're in " similar to a drunken person's habits then they're not fit to be on the road. Imagine them behind a wheel doing the same out of the window.
If it continues have a word at your local police station and see what they say. Do desk sergeants exist any more ?

DoraMarr Wed 22-May-19 19:28:45

“Driving under the influence” is a crime.
Why are the neighbours behaving like this? You say you have been having “a bit of trouble,” what is the problem?

Bopeep14 Wed 22-May-19 19:44:53

DoraMarr it all started a month ago when my grandchild was being dropped off she accused my grandchild's mother of bumping her car every morning whilst parking. Since then she has been playing loud music all day and night a few times hammering on the wall at all times shouting and swearing through the wall, blocking parking space so my hubby can’t park. Up to now we have just ignored her, we have not actually done anything in fact my hubby has in the past cleaned her gutters out cleaned her windows and topped the oil up on her car, she lives on her own so i really don't get why all of a sudden she has turned nasty. Up to now we have just ignored her, but shouting horrible things at me in public i am not prepared to tolerate.

EllanVannin Wed 22-May-19 20:12:16

Harassment shouldn't be tolerated. Because you're not responding it'll drive them more mad even though you're doing the right thing by ignoring them. All you can do is make a note of the abuse------date, time and area plus the nature of the abuse.

whywhywhy Wed 22-May-19 21:02:08

I would record everything, times, dates and everything they say. If it gets out of hand then go straight to the police. Take all of your evidence with you. Good luck.

M0nica Wed 22-May-19 21:56:06

Driving under the influenceof cannabis is a crime as much as driving while under the influence of alcohol is. Shouting, playing loud music and hammering on the walls, should be reported to the noise abatement team, especially if it is being done late at night or early in the mornng.

All these behaviours can be classed as harrassment and as others have said keep a diary of the time period covered by these actions, what the action is and the wording of any abuse thrown at you. Then go to the police.

The reason she has suddenly turned nasty is the effect of the cannabis. Modern cannabis, skunk, is a very powerful drug and completely changes peoples behaviour causing paranoia and eventually psychosis.

FarNorth Wed 22-May-19 22:33:08

It is illegal to possess and/or smoke cannabis in your own home.
It is also illegal to drive while having cannabis in your system.

jeanie99 Thu 23-May-19 01:17:50

You have no actual evidence to report the cannabis use so let that lie.
If you are being harassed I would keep a diary of what is happening with videos and photos and go to the police when you have enough evidence.
Don't take matters into your own hands.

Dillyduck Thu 23-May-19 09:30:12

I suggest that before your son leaves your house, when the neighbours are around, he turns on the recording facility on his phone and records the abusive language. Then he has clear evidence to show the police.
I once broke up a fight in a street by simply getting out my camera!

CarlyD7 Thu 23-May-19 09:30:30

My Mum had problems with her neighbours for years - it escalated to the point where ambulances would arrive in the middle of the night (!) and pot shots were taken at their guttering (also at night) as well as "silent" phone calls. She rang the local police station (not sure if you can do that now?) and a police officer came out and took a note of everything, and then, as he was leaving, he stood at the end of the driveway, by the gate, and shouted down to my Mum "I've got a note of all of this; if you have any more trouble at all, even just one incident, ring me up and I will deal with them." Strangely enough, it all stopped ...

jaylucy Thu 23-May-19 09:34:24

As far as the noise is concerned, it can be reported to your environmental health dept, but like others have said, keep a diary of the incidents and maybe even record it on your mobile phone.
I wonder if her behaviour is down to the use of cannabis ? If she continues to abuse you or your family, you can report her to the police for harassment - why should you not be able to go about your own business without it?

25Avalon Thu 23-May-19 09:36:41

Have you chatted to your community policeman? They can be very useful at sorting out neighbour disputes in a friendly manner by talking to both parties and acting as mediators to solve the issue without the heavy arm of the law so to speak. Cannabis apart, the neighbours are hurling abuse at you and your visitors and this is plain unacceptable and something that the community police may be able to sort out quietly.

NainFron Thu 23-May-19 09:37:59

I agree with DillyDuck. Record as much as you can of the abuse (perhaps with phone recording a video while in breast pocket of shirt?). Keep a diary of all events. Do not retaliate. Don't be dragged down to her level, maintain your dignity by remaining calm. Things will only escalate if you show your anger, and it would also be a bad example to give to your grandchildren. Police can only prosecute when they have enough clear evidence to succeed in court. Good luck... we're rooting for you!

sunnygirl Thu 23-May-19 09:57:02


sunnygirl Thu 23-May-19 10:02:51

Hi Bopeep14
I can sympathise with you. My upstairs neighbor smokes weed constantly. It filters down to me as she has no carpets, also plays loud music and is awake through the night thumping around. Tried to speak to her as I work 12 hour shifts and obviously need to rest in my days off but I was met with abuse. Phoned the council noise team who said to document everything and report each incident but it could take years to resolve.I just try and ignore it now, it’s difficult but don’t know what else I can do. Hope you get it resolved soon.

Psalmody Thu 23-May-19 10:05:45

I agree with the suggestions here of keeping a record of all incidents. The verbal abuse of your son does actually constitute an offence, so I would suggest you immediately talk to the police. I recently had a neighbour verbally abuse me and I did ring the police which they said was the right thing to have done. They sent a couple of PCSO's for a chat, who also said I was right to call them. They went and had a chat with the neighbour and the whole thing was sorted there and then.

Jaycee5 Thu 23-May-19 10:07:01

Speak to your Community Police Officer and to your Council. The Council will send you diary logs to fill in. Send them in as early as you can. Keep a copy and keep filling them in because the Council will probably write a letter and then do nothing more unless you contact them again with more information. They take a lot of pushing. It took over two years for us to get them to tell our neighbour that they would take action if she didn't behave - and this was someone who throws rocks at our windows at 3 am and pulled her 90 year old neighbours window out of its frame. You have to think about how your neighbours will behave if they receive a letter or notice. It takes quite a lot of effort on a Council's behalf to get a CBO (previously an ASBO). Alternatively they might use a noise abatement notice - this includes unpleasant smells. Include the smell of smoking on any logs.
Nuisance is a civil issue and that would mean you suing them yourself. You really don't want to go through with the cost and stress of a court case but sometimes a solicitors letter will stop it.
The best bet is probably the Community Police Officer but it will depend how good they are and how much time they have. It is one of the things that PCSO were often quite good at but there are few of them left.

narrowboatnan Thu 23-May-19 10:19:28

If your neighbour is in a rented house you could try speaking to her landlord.

humptydumpty Thu 23-May-19 10:23:10

I agree with narrowboatman, keep a record over say a month and then go to the landlord if rented.

Hm999 Thu 23-May-19 10:37:46

Is the house next door rented? If so, do you know who the landlord is?

Fee47 Thu 23-May-19 10:44:03

Could be growing it !! 🙄

Fee47 Thu 23-May-19 10:45:53

But just be careful cause you have to live next door and if they find out who's reported it could turn nasty step with caution ad say

Bopeep14 Thu 23-May-19 11:05:47

Thanks all for your advice she is at it again while i am typing this🤦🏼‍♀️ I am keeping a log of everything, i am at the moment just going to ignore it. I did a bit of research and have found it is illegal to smoke cannabis in your home and drive with it in your system. The house she lives in is private rented and no i have no idea who the landlord is unfortunately.

Sheilasue Thu 23-May-19 11:46:28

Get some advice from the citizen advice or if you are brave enough speak to the police. Don’t be frightened of them, and don’t get in arguments with them.
I have plenty of bad neighbours over the years and my way of dealing with them is to ignore them, unless they start throwing things over your garden or are threatening you.

MysticalUnicorn Thu 23-May-19 11:52:21

Have you tried going round there and talking to her to see if she has a problem or needs help? This would be the best first move, preferably when you can't smell the cannabis. It might be a problem which can be easily sorted, especially if you have been on good terms previously.

Pat1949 Thu 23-May-19 12:58:51

Yes, Bopeep14, it is illegal to be in possession of cannabis in the UK, I don't know why anyone would think otherwise.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 23-May-19 13:16:03

On 2nd March 2015, the law changed so that it is now an offence not only for you to smoke cannabis and drive whilst impaired, but also whilst the active constituent of cannabis (delta-9-tetrahydrocannibinol) is above the prescribed limit of 2 µg per 1 litre of blood.

I found this on

So yes, if you believe that your neighbours are driving while under the influence of cannabis, you could report them to the police.

I believe you also can report people for using abusive language to you or your family, especially as you don't seem to have been in an argument with them or given them cause to lose their tempers with you.

Reporting them is not likely to improve your relationship with your neighbours though, but in your place I would consider reporting the unprovoked abusive language, as your grandchild was present at the time.

Before doing so, however, it might be worth while to ask your neighbours when they are sober what you had done to provoke them, as neither you nor your son could think of a good reason for the abuse they subjected you to, and say that it upset you that a child had to hear this kind of language.

minxie Thu 23-May-19 14:02:19

Report to the council and they will send you a log book to record every single incident.

AliBeeee Thu 23-May-19 15:31:05

You maybe able to find out who the landlord is through the landlord registration website. All landlords in Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and some parts of England must be registered. This is the Scottish register.
My son and dil got in touch with the landlord when the tenants next door were causing problems and the landlord dealt with it immediately.
Good luck.

Hattiehelga Thu 23-May-19 17:18:10

Definitely report this. You could be saving a life if they are driving under the influence of drugs and have an accident that is no fault of the other driver.

Exmouthlady Thu 23-May-19 18:47:04

Just go to the land registry and download the register for the property. It'll give the owners name and address. Costs about £3.00 and should be available as an instant download. This information is legally available to anyone for any property.

NotSpaghetti Thu 23-May-19 18:51:52

grandtanteJE65 - the belief is that the grandchild’s mother regularly bumps their car whilst parking.
That was the start of the problem according to Bopeep14

NotSpaghetti Thu 23-May-19 18:57:28

We had terrible neighbours once and eventually had to resort to the council. After weeks of logging the noise they brought a recording device and checked the decibels.
After we reported them things did get 10 times worse. I’m not sure what I would recommend now as if made for months of dread and sleepless nights before it was resolved by the husband being arrested and jailed for other offences and the wife moving away with the children.
We then had our car “trashed” in the drive the day he was released. It may have been a coincidence....

4allweknow Thu 23-May-19 20:35:58

Her actions may all well be down to canabis and goodness knows what else she and boyfriend may be consuming. Definitely a word with community police officer.

cas58 Thu 23-May-19 20:40:17

Far North is correct. It IS Illegal. We have this issue with our neighbour right now. I would note down everything and go to the council too for unreasonable behaviour.
After a while it's going to get hard to ignore and for now she's just yelling, what if she get violent?
You could try talking to her maybe first thing in the morning when you can hop she isn't high.

Eloethan Thu 23-May-19 22:54:30

I would try to ignore it and hope they eventually lose interest. However, as others have said, keep a careful note of all these incidents (and recording on a mobile phone sounds like a good idea too). If the problem gets worse, then I think you need to consult a solicitor with the evidence you have collected.

It sounds like they may have mental health issues, perhaps exacerbated by drug use.

moggie57 Thu 23-May-19 22:56:07

ignore them .you never know whether they will get nasty.if it getsreally bad report them to local authority.

Saggi Fri 24-May-19 07:08:57

I have a friend who has been putting up with this sort of terrible behaviour for 4 long amount of complaining to the council....the police....the environmental officer.... her local councillor... her doctor ( as she’s not allowed to sleep at night)...has done her any good. She has made mountains of diary notes...officially recorded, with a council device all the excessive noise this next door neighbour puts her through to ALL the said agencies , but all to no avail. We think the reason is because her elderly neighbour causing the problem, is older than her...and they don’t want to seem to be discriminating against the ‘troublemaker’. My friend has now resorted to travelling around on buses all day , winter and summer, to get some respite from this aged woman next door , who even her relatives, when told of the problem she’s causing in the neighbourhood, ignore! My friends health has deteriorated in consequence of this neighbours bad behaviour....all the council can offer us for her to move away , although of course they can’t offer her a placement. When my friend suggested they remove the neighbour causing the problem they said that wasn’t within their remit. So as usual in this country , the victim has no choice but to put up or shut up! You will get no help from these agencies...they’re toothless in the face of political correctness!

harrigran Fri 24-May-19 08:26:10

You don't need to know who the landlord is, we had neighbours with drug problems and the police sorted it. Police interviewed tenants and landlord who would have lost his licence if he hadn't evicted the problem tenants.

EmilyHarburn Fri 24-May-19 10:41:20

For information about driving under the influence stat at the government website

Starlady Sat 25-May-19 03:12:48

Ugh! So sorry you have to deal w/ this, Bopeep! I imagine the cannabis is making your neighbor and her male friend act this way. Or they have mental health issues that they are trying to ease w/ cannabis but to no avail. (NOT saying that all people w/ mental illness behave this way.)

IMO, they've already gotten "nasty," so I don't see what you could lose by reporting whatever you can provide evidence of. But if you're afraid they'll do something even worse, then I understand if you just document for now and avoid any action. And, of course, I respect your decision, regardless.

Hope this is all resolved soon!

Esspee Sat 25-May-19 07:33:15

One of the problems about internet sites like these is that people contribute without actually knowing anything about the subject. Of course using marijuana is illegal whether in your own home or outside and of course driving under the influence is illegal. Report it to the police.
Finding the owner of the property is straightforward. Write to them.
Don't let these people bully you.
Good luck.