Hello everyone,
I hardly know where to start. To cut a very long story short, I have suffered for a number of years from very unkind cruel treatment from my DD and SIL. There are two grandchildren involved whom I never get to see. Maintaining contact with them is rendered difficult as I can only write to them. Email addresses or mobile numbers are not made available to me. Their mother does not want the grandmother/grandchildren bond to develop as she wants to punish me. When I write to the children they are not encouraged to reply so they don't. They are 10 and 12 yrs old. I feel that I must try all I can to keep the contact with them going as they are not in any way responsible for any of this mess and I wouldn't want them to think that I do not love them or later on in life wonder if grandma gave up on them. But I am now becoming more and more affected by the situation which is taking a toll on my health as the worry, pain and despair saps my energy, gives me sleepless nights and in short ruins my life. I must do something. The relationship mother-daughter is well and truly over. She said so and is behaving accordingly. I am already dead in her heart and what I will leave behind financially is being looked forward to. I have even been told that I can't leave my choice of sums to charity and that she will do what she wants with my money when I am dead, therefore expecting to inherit in full.
I am only in my mid-sixties but feel my life is over already even though it should really be a time for enjoyment after a lifetime of work. I spend Christmas, birthdays, mothers days alone. Two bereavements, illness and now the coronavirus situation do not suggest to DD and SIL that they should perhaps pick up the phone which hasn't rung for well over 10 years. Phoning them is no use as they do not answer. If I text them I get a very short 3 word polite, cold reply, otherwise nothing. I have suffered years of abuse and cruelty from two very selfish individuals I am ashamed to call family. If they read this they will recognise themselves.
I know some of you will say that I am better off without such a family but facing life without my DD and GDD doesn't bear thinking about. I now have not seen any of them for over 8 months, was barred from the children's birthdays and school functions without being given a reason. Simply sent a text asking me not to attend and to respect their decision. I live alone and have had no-one in my life for over 10 years. I am not British and only have 2 remaining relatives both living abroad, elderly and sick. I left my home country many years ago when I was in my late teens and would not consider life anywhere else but here now. Life has been hard. I studied for a Degree whilst bringing up my DD alone after what I believed was a friendly divorce then we settled in another part of the country for my first professional position. DD settled down, made new friends, saw her father regularly. I opened our home to him and he stayed with us for each one of his many regular visits. I encouraged and fostered her relationship with her father. Little did I know that he was intending to take her love away from me and was actively brainwashing her even during his visits while she was growing up with me. She totally believed everything she was told and still does and that was the beginning of the end for life as we knew it. She readily admits her father is extremely vindictive but is behaving in the same way herself.
I feel my health is deteriorating and depression is setting in. Can anyone help me please find a way forward? Thank you.
Feeling uneasy with tradespeople in the house.
